Habbo Name: .:N-Joy:.
Joke:
How to notice a blonde has used the computer:
There is correction liquid on the screen..
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Habbo Name: .:N-Joy:.
Joke:
How to notice a blonde has used the computer:
There is correction liquid on the screen..
Habbo Name: Dialax
Joke:
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
:) :)
Habbo Name: Sontina
JOKE: Two atoms are walking down a street. The first one suddenly goes: "Oh no, I've lost an electron!", and the second one replies: "Dude, are you positive?"
habbo name: iain-11
JOKE REMOVED
Edited By MissAlice - Competitions Manager
THIS JOKE IS NOT APPROPRIATE AND IS CONSIDERED RUDE.
habbo name: iain-11
Edited By MissAlice - Competitions Manager
PLEASE DONT DOUBLE POST - SIMPLY EDIT YOUR PREVIOUS POST.
Habbo Name: Jay.....
Joke:
Three man died and they all went to see if they'll go to hell or heaven. So the judge was waiting on a few saints so he asked them, How did they die? So the first man said: I went home one day and my wife was with another man so i pushed the man on a balcony until he was hanging on to the ledge so i stepped on his hands and he fell in the bushes and didnt die so i threw a fridge on him and he died.I got guilty and i shot myself. The second man said: I went to visit my friend and a mad man came pushed me out on the balcony stepped on my fingers and luckily i fell in a bush. and when i looked up i saw a fridge come out of the sky! And the 3rd man said: Well i was naked inside a refridgerator....
Haha this made me laugh for a while =P
Hehe got another one:
There was a boyfriend and girlfriend and the girlfriend asked the boyfriend: Am i pretty or ugly? so the boyfriend said: Both, pretty ugly :p
habbo name: rossco2004
old classic :p joke :
There was an irishman, and englishman, and a scotsman,
and they all went on a tour where they came across a cow.
so the irish man tells them "thats an Irish cow",
and the english man replies, "thats definately and english cow,"
and the scotsman argues "nah, obviously a scottish cow...
...its got bag pipes under it" :p :D
:D Habbo Name: sailormoondude
Your Joke: Person 1:your funny Person 2 : so r u but looks aren't everything
AND / OR
ok a fat lady walks into a bar with a duck into her arm he bartender goes whered u get the pig the lady says its a duck and the bartenders says i was talking to the duck :D
Habbo Name: Puppy:girl
Joke:
3 men died and went to heaven where they met God. God told them that they had to not step on any living creatures for the next 3 years and if you did there will be a punishment and if u didn't there will be an reward. They said ok. The next day, person 1 steped on a snake and was forced to marry an ugly woman. The second person steped on a snail 2 years later and had to marry an ugly woman. The 3rd year, the 3rd person met God. God said well done. here is ur reward. and this beautiful woman came and said i am ur wife. and he was like WOW! why? he asked. the woman said because i stepped on an ant. :D
This means he's ugly btw..
Habbo Name: F@irz
Joke: A guy called quazimodo has to go and ring the church bells every day at 10:00 because the vicor pays him to, one day he goes up to the bell tower. He falls over, his face hits the bell making it ring, losing his balance he falls out the tower and splat on the ground. Later on the vicor is told to identify him at the hospital. "So you know him" The Nurse Asks. "No but his face Rings A Bell ".
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Habbo name:mcmurtrie
Joke:theres this woman she is really fat and she weighs around 30 stone and some1 threw a double decker bus at her and she said who threw dat stone!!!!
lmao
From ashleigh
[Could well be the funniest joke ever, i laughed madly at this.]
What is pink and fluffy?
.
.
.
.
PINK FLUFF
*waits for applause* :D
Habbo name: Discountguy
ok heres my joke
A man walks into a bar and bets the barman £50 he can fart the National Anthem. The bar man agrees and shakes on it.
The next minute the guy squats up on to the bar pulls down his trousers and makes a mess all over the bar. The bar man shouts in discrace " WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING" the man replies "hey even Pavarotti has to clear his throat befor he sings"
what did u think of it :eusa_clap
Well My habbo name is .x.Adrenaline.x. and my login name is habborocks.
Ok here is 2
A man walks into a building and says doctor doctor, I Need glasses and the man says you sure do sir, this is a restaraunt. :s :rolleyes:
:S that was bad but o well
ok heres next
a blonde walks into a party and a lady says excuse me, some advice.... when you put tissues in ur bra.. take them out of the box first.
Sit Back Alice , Habbox, and Readers Since this Story/Joke Is Quite Long :)
Hey Everyone :) Now. First Off This is an oringal joke :) i was "inspirred" By A baby Column. No dont ask me WHY lol. i have a big sister. anways. Its Original, so u'll probably havent heard of it and its not that funny. ^^ i dont expect to win ( as i never do :P ) And i Hope u Enjoy ! :) Forum Name : ?-Doc-? Habbo(uk) name : ?-Doc-?
Ok :) "The Baby Problem" By ?-Doc-? :P Ready ? :)
In the Year 2009 where habbo had expanded to over 700,000 countries
and there are new furni every month ^^.. recently the habbo "babies" were realeased into the catalouge. These worked simliar to Pets.
Every year tey would grow and you would have to care and feed these babies. Now when they turn older ( lets say 6 years old ) You will have to buy a new one :) Isnt that just ... "Neat" ? :)
-
Well One Day Habbo Visited Haboo since they were a happy married habbo couple :) They had been married for 1 month now and recently just had a baby. Now Mrs Habbo was with the baby and Mr Habboo went to visit her :)
he saw the baby's name and was SHOCKED ! he quickly called the doctors assistant ( me ) he asked me why his baby was named "savage". I had replied. " well sir , i do recall your baby biting one of our nurses "
He was shocked. He quikly answered back.
"Really?! Omg. But he .. cant be a savage!" He obviously was having a breakdown.
Now you might be thinking "savage" ? What on earth?!
Well i had just realised the sign said "gavage" so i explained to Mr Haboo
That a gavage was a baby that had to be fed by a tube. Not "savage" but
"Gavage" and i told him that nothing was wrong with the baby , and that the baby and his mother will reunite with him in a few days.
-
He was relieved when he heard the good news. he asked me quite a .."
Stupid question ... I didnt reply staright away sicne in knew he was rather dimwitted. I left it for a few days then answered him. The question was
" My baby didnt really bite one of the nurses did he? "
I began to laugh. I didnt say it out loud but it was quite unlikely since the
baby was just born AND HAD NO TEETH :)
-
:eusa_wall :eusa_clap :eusa_danc
Thanx for Reading My Story ^^ Good Luck Everyone. Good Luck Me ^^
I mite need it from all these Great jokes .
Habbo name - Kaydee. with .
Joke - a blonde walked into a furni shop and asked for a small pair of curtins.
The owner said "Why sucha small pair?"
The blonde said," My computer has windows".
Habbo Name: Baker86
Your Joke: Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?" :eusa_clap
1. Theres a girl hanging from a tree with a rope tied round her waist then a man comes up and says "What are you doing with that rope?" the woman replys "Trying to hang myself but it hurt too much to put the rope around my neck"
2.Theres a Chinese man, An asian man, and a newphy
The Chinese man walks into the room and snaps his fingers and says "Ive got the rythem of the rythem of the radio"
The asian man does the same
The nephy comes in and says shaking his hand "Ive got a boogie on my finger and it wont let go!" :eusa_danc
(Sorry to the newphys out thur but I couldn`t think of anything els to put ;) )
__________________________________________________ _____________
By Gigglez08
__________________________________________________ _____________
Try your best to do your best! :wav:
Habbo Name : Pure-Ant
Joke : 3 guys are walking bck from a pub when all of a sudden they get kidnapped, the kidnappers take the 3 guys (john,jake,jack) to a tropical forest.
in the forest they tell them to bring back 5 of their favourite fruit, john comes back with 5 apples so they explain the rules ....
What u have 2 do is ram all 5 up ur butt without laughing or crying otherwise u get shot in the face and killed.
they manage to ram 2 apple up johns butt but he cried so they kill him.
Jake walked bck with 5 grapes and he gets 4 up but laughs so they kill him
*in heaven*- john:why did u laugh jake u were doing so well???......
jake: sorry i couldent help myself, i saw jack with 5 PINEAPPLES
:D :p :)
Habbo = oxop
www.adamchance.com/funny.htm
Its not all that clean but i was wetting my self reading it :) :eusa_danc
Gwenith pultrow had a baby and called it Apple right? But she wanted anther so she could have a pair.
Habbo Name - Infrontation
Joke - A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
Okay i only have 2 jokes so listen up 4 em all!
habbo name:hob.****!
joke:Why did the chiken cross the road? To get to the other side! Did you think that was funny? No! Neither did he becuz the shops were shut! :D
habbo name:hob.****!
joke:Why did the blonde look up at the lightening??? She thought she was having here picture taken! :D
Srry if dat 1 waz offencive but am blonde ma self!
:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap
a man was swimming the english channel he got half way across, dint think he could make it so he turned and swam back
Habboname-fizzlenizzle07
$500 Porsche
A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye: $500 Porsche! New! The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he thought it might be a joke, but thought it was worth a shot. So he went to the lady's house and sure enough, she had an almost brand new Porsche.
"Wow!" the man said. "Can I take it for a test drive?" Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly and took it back to the lady's house.
"Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?"
"My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me I could have the house and the furniture as long as I sold his Porsche and sent him the money."
Habbo name-crazy?!
A Letter From A Redneck Mother To Her Son
Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.
It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funderal bill, up she comes.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safery. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.
Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.
Love, Ma
Edited by MissAlice - Competitions Manager
THE RULES ARE CLEAR ONLY ONE ENTRY PER MEMBER.
only take the second joke sorry i sent your two
Edited By MissAlice - Competitions Manager
PLEASE DONT DOUBLE OR TRIPLE POST - SIMPLY EDIT YOUR PREVIOUS POST.
Habbo name: Witelink
Ma Joke: A woman is stuck in the top floor of a burning building, screaming and trying to drop her baby for a fireman to catch. Then a man comes over and says "drop your baby i will catch it"
"how can i trust you" replied the woman.
"I'm Neil O'Connor, 10 year number 1 keeper for ireland, in my time ive never let a goal past me."
"well ok" shouts the woman and drops the baby. As the baby falls its clothes get snagged on an outsticking window ledge and it spins off to one side. It looks as though the baby will fall and the keeper will not be able to get to it in time. But the keeper suddenly leaps 10 feet across the road and catches the baby in a perfect save. THe crowd all cheers but suddnely stop as the baby is bounced twice on the ground before being kicked 60 yards up the road.
wow that was rude lol funny though!Quote:
Originally Posted by OxOp
Name: .:.KieranP33.:.
Habbo name: .:.KieranP33.:.
Joke: I have a dog with no legs and i called it cigarette. The reason i called it that is that i take it for a drag every night. :eusa_danc :eusa_danc :D
joke:2 blondes walk in to a bar. you think 1 of them wud av seen it.
:eusa_clap
how does a fat person spell refridgeirator. o i c u m t
Habbo Name:feelix101
Joke:
A man woke up every morning and passed gas. After about eight or nine years of marriage, his wife finally said, if you fart any more, you'll fart your guts out. Being a butcher, the wife decided to put pig scraps in his pants so he would wake up, and not do it anymore. She put the scraps in his pants that night.
He woke up in the morning and went across the hall to the bathroom. Two long hours later, he came out and stated, honey, you were right about me farting my guts out BUT WITH THE GRACE OF THE DEAR LORD AND THESE TWO FINGERS. I GOT THEM BACK IN THERE.
Thanks for the other jokes there pretty funny i hope use like this one for the fun of it aswell thanks to other habbox members cyaz all!!!!!signed feelix101
One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says, ''Sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world.'' Then the toilet paper yells, "Think again buddy!"
LOL HAVE FUN YALL!!!:)
Habbox Name: Hunteh
Habbo Name: Mabehu
Joke: Have you heard of Michael Jacksons new band? It's called the Jackson 5 & Under.
.::Hunteh::.
Habbo Name: Finolastar93
Habbox Name: Finolastar93
Jokee:-
A boy in Reception (3 years/4 years old) had to go home to learn the first for letters of the alphabet. He went home and firstly asked his older sister what the first letter was. She shouted 'GET LOST!' he then went to his Mum who was on the phone to her friend...the boy thought that she was talking to him and she said 'Oh Well!'. Next up, he decided to go to his Dad who was talking to someone at the front door, the boy heard his Dad say 'Fine then, whatever' to the person at the door, thinking he was talking to him. Finally he went to his younger brother who was about 2 years old. He was playing with his cars and fire engines. The boy heard his brother saying 'Brum Brum In My Fire Truck!'
The next day, the boy went into school and the teacher asked what the first letter of the aplhabet was he replied with 'GET LOST!' The teacher then said 'How dare you say that?!' He replied with the 2nd letter of the alphabet as he thought and said 'Oh Well!' The teacher then said 'Do you want to go to the head teacher?!'. The boy answered the teacher with 'Fine then, whatever' The teacher was starting to get angry and then said, in her calmest voice she could but with a tint of anger, 'How you gonna get there then!?'. The boy finally replied with 'Brum Brum In My Fire Truck!' :D :D
one day mr.piggy was walkin down the street he stumbled upon jemima and said can i have a pancake jemima said sure sweet with syrup..the piggy said, of course, jemima made the biggest pancake in the world the pig took a bite and said thats disguesting throw it out....jemima got mad..THE END.....did i mention jemima had pig in a blanket for breakfast.lol :eusa_clap...... :eusa_pray...i pray mr piggy led a good life...
Joke = A panda walks into the resturant and he eats shoots and leaves :)
Lol hope u like! :eusa_danc
Edited By MissAlice - Competitions Manager
POSTED WHILE ON TRIAL.
Name : Skibs
Joke : (sorry to all townies for these jokes)
Q. What do you call a townie in a box?
A. Innit.
Q. What do you call a townie in a filing cabinet?
A. Sorted.
Q. How can you tell a female townie virgin?
A. She can run faster than her brothers.
Q. What do you call a townie on a bike?
A. A theif
Q. What do you call a townie in a car?
A. Arrested
Q.What do you call a townie waiting in a bus shelter?
A. At a party.
Q. What do you call a 30 year old townie?
A. Failed.
Q. What do you call a 12 year old townie girl?
A. Pregnant.
Q. What do you call a townie girl without any children?
A. Under the age of 5.
Q. What do you call a townie in a skatepark?
A. Lost.
Q. Why did the townie cross the road?
A. To punch someone for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
Q. Whats a townies favourite car?
A. One without an alarm.
Q. Why did the Townie stare at the carton of Orange Juice?
A. Because it had 'concentrate' on it.
Q. What do you say to a townie in a suit?
A. Will the defendant please stand.
Q. What did the little towny say to the bigger towny?
A. Can you get served?
Q. Why do townies constantly rev their engines?
A. So they don't cut out.
Q. What do you call a townie in a jar of honey?
A. Sweet!
Q. What do you call a townie in a coffin?
A. A damn good reason to kill another.
Q. What do u say to a boy racer when he is circling?
A. Are you lost?
Q. What do townies use as protection during ***?
A. A bus shelter.
Q. What do you say to a townie with a job?
A. Can I have a Big Mac please?
Q. What is a townies favourite ice cream?
A. Mint!
Q. Whats the difference between a dying townie and an onion?
A. Onions make you cry.
Q. What have townie girls got in common with turtles?
A. When they're on they're back theyre ****...ged
Q. What happens to a thought in a townies head?
A. It dies of loneliness.
Q. How does a townie girl turn the lights off after se.x?
A. She closes the car door.
Q. How many townies does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 5. 1 to put it in, the other 4 to tell him "innit, innit, innit, innit".
Q. What do you call a 30 year old townie?
A. Dunno. Ask her 17 year old son.
Q. What do you call a townie in hell?
A. Wicked.
Q. WHat do you call a townie in a fridge?
A. Chillin'.
Q. What do you do if you run a townie over?
A. Slip it into reverse just to make sure.
Q. What do you call a townie in an iron box?
A. Saphe.
Q. What do you do if you shoot a townie?
A. Reload.
Q. What do a war veteran and a used townie condom have in common?
A. They both live to fight another day.
EDIT by properclone - Don't avoid the filter!
habbo name= hi
joke= hi
lmao
im good
Habbo name : xxJ-KWONxx
Forum name : Lomen22
Joke:
Once there was a blonde woman on the bed in the nu..,de then there is a knock at the door
Blonde: "Whooooo is it?"
(person): "It's the blind man"
Blonde opens the door and the man says: "Nice Breasts where do you want the blinds?"
Lol I love that one, Mod sorry if tis rude :)