Do you think you choose your sexual orientation?

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Originally Posted by bikini

Yes I am straight.

Sorry that you've been bullied about that.


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dont worry about it im not using it to invalidate what you believe
but i notice a lot of the beliefs about choosing comes from those who don't know what it's like to not be straight.
what you're saying is correct, some may choose to date only one gender but that doesn't decide what their *orientation* is because if you date the same sex but like the opposite sex, you're still gay.

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Originally Posted by bikini

Oh I know. As soon as someone doesn't see the same view as someone else it becomes a battle... Life is life though.


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What's the point of telling people your views if you don't want to discuss them? Particularly in a forum dedicated to debates?

Feel free to answer the question in my previous post btw :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlVBg7_08n0

"And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to"

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Originally Posted by benzoberzerk

What's the point of telling people your views if you don't want to discuss them? Particularly in a forum dedicated to debates?

Feel free to answer the question in my previous post btw :)

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I think I've posted my views, and people didn't like what I had to say. That's the end of that. Why you got a +rep for this is beyond me because it doesn't prove anything.

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Originally Posted by benzoberzerk

Your post doesn't answer my questions. Let's put it like this: do you think any external factors could make you change your mind regarding what sexuality you want to belong to?

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I don't think you worded that very well, but nonetheless- yes. I think there is a factor. If you've been abused emotionally, and having someone tell you that you're worthless and then repeatedly call you either gay/lesbian - I'm pretty sure after that form of abuse you will start to believe in what people are telling you.
And even looking at those who have been gay/lesbian their whole life; So they go through the same thing. Emotionally abused, being called worthless because they are gay/lesbian. Those same words will sink in and make the person choose not to be gay/lesbian because they rather not go through the same abuse.

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Originally Posted by benzoberzerk

And by doing so, would your attraction to the opposite sex all of a sudden be completely eliminated?

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Referring to my situation above, yes.

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Originally Posted by benzoberzerk

Because by saying homosexuality is a choice, this is what you're telling gay people to do.

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Then I guess that would make me such a bad person.

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Nevertheless, I would say that my situation that I had made above would depict maybe 5-15% of actual situation... but if we're speaking from the world we live in; Homosexuality is still being attacked on. People are dying from both suicide and murder because of this situation.

Maybe instead of sitting here on this forum pointing fingers at people because they think a certain way, why don't we all use this motivation and bring an understanding to the fact that gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transvestites are being attacked everyday for this exact situation.

I just don't see why just because I said one thing makes me stand on the opposite side of everyone else..

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And I say my last post noting that there are a lot of people who are okay with their homosexuality. They know who they are.

I love my friends who are gay. I don't look at them any different. They are who they are.

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Originally Posted by bikini

I think I've posted my views, and people didn't like what I had to say. That's the end of that. Why you got a +rep for this is beyond me because it doesn't prove anything.


I don't think you worded that very well, but nonetheless- yes. I think there is a factor. If you've been abused emotionally, and having someone tell you that you're worthless and then repeatedly call you either gay/lesbian - I'm pretty sure after that form of abuse you will start to believe in what people are telling you.
And even looking at those who have been gay/lesbian their whole life; So they go through the same thing. Emotionally abused, being called worthless because they are gay/lesbian. Those same words will sink in and make the person choose not to be gay/lesbian because they rather not go through the same abuse.



Referring to my situation above, yes.



Then I guess that would make me such a bad person.

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Nevertheless, I would say that my situation that I had made above would depict maybe 5-15% of actual situation... but if we're speaking from the world we live in; Homosexuality is still being attacked on. People are dying from both suicide and murder because of this situation.

Maybe instead of sitting here on this forum pointing fingers at people because they think a certain way, why don't we all use this motivation and bring an understanding to the fact that gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transvestites are being attacked everyday for this exact situation.

I just don't see why just because I said one thing makes me stand on the opposite side of everyone else..

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And I say my last post noting that there are a lot of people who are okay with their homosexuality. They know who they are.

I love my friends who are gay. I don't look at them any different. They are who they are.

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Well then, excuse my poor choice of words. I'm simply trying to keep this conversation on your level because you seem very reluctant to try to understand where i'm coming from. I'm honestly not trying to discredit you and i apologize if you feel like i'm attacking you.

Your "situation that you had made above depict maybe 5-15% of actual situation"? I'm not sure what that means, but if you're talking about your entire argument then i don't understand why you would base your assumptions about what makes someone gay on this 5-15%?

I don't believe you're entirely wrong about abuse, some types of it can most likely play in although little research support it. I just don't get why you're arguing that this would be the main reason for not only someone becoming gay, but someone actually deciding to become gay.

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Originally Posted by bikini

but if we're speaking from the world we live in; Homosexuality is still being attacked on. People are dying from both suicide and murder because of this situation.

Maybe instead of sitting here on this forum pointing fingers at people because they think a certain way, why don't we all use this motivation and bring an understanding to the fact that gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transvestites are being attacked everyday for this exact situation.

I just don't see why just because I said one thing makes me stand on the opposite side of everyone else..

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You don't realize that this is exactly what the majority of the people in this thread are trying to do..? And that the reason people question you is that you use very similar arguments as all those who oppose homosexuality because in their eyes it's a disease that one could and should be cured of?

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Originally Posted by benzoberzerk

Your "situation that you had made above depict maybe 5-15% of actual situation I'm not sure what that means, but if you're talking about your entire argument then i don't understand why you would base your assumptions about what makes someone gay on this 5-15%

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I'm not actually talking about my entire argument. I agree with what everyone said. Haha, I just thought that bringing an addition to what everyone else said, because if you look at what everyone else has said... It's the same thing... Why say the same thing as everyone else. That wouldn't be such a debate, would it? :P

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Originally Posted by benzoberzerk

I don't believe you're entirely wrong about abuse, some types of it can most likely play in although little research support it. I just don't get why you're arguing that this would be the main reason for not only someone becoming gay, but someone actually deciding to become gay.

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And I would agree on this. Definitely not the only/main reason. As I noted above. I do believe and agree in what everyone else has said. I was just supporting this side of the original message Kyle had asked me at the very beginning. Not that it was my official answer, but it was an addition to everyone else's answers.

Does this make sense?


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Poor Brad! If you ask me his original post was badly worded and didn't represent what he was actually trying to say. Anyway the idea of finding your sexuality is purely abstract and no two people will ever discover their sexuality in the exact same way. If Brad thinks it's down to traumatic/life experiences, maybe for him it IS down to that. Is it so difficult to believe the origins of peoples' sexualities can come about in different ways?

I'm not entirely sure I agree with all you have to say, Brad, but I actually do kinda see where you're coming from about the idea of "traumatic" experiences. However, I don't think it's necessarily just "traumatic" experiences, but life experiences in general. For example I have no strong, positive male role models in my life and so find it very difficult to be comfortable around males in real life because I don't know how to act around them at all. Because of this, I spend more time around females meaning I'm more likely to end up attracted to one of them because I spend more time getting to know them better, I feel more comfortable around them in general, etc.

The idea of "traumatic" experiences only really seems to impact homosexuals/bisexuals I think. And even then, it doesn't change their sexuality it just suppresses it. So like your family/peers can bully you and make you feel awful about being gay so you try to hide it but it still never actually goes away.

I thought I'd bring back this video for anyone who hasn't seen it. It's an interesting watch and really makes you think:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnOJgDW0gPI

No, I don't believe people choose their sexuality. I didn't choose to be attracted to girls, I just am. If people did choose their sexuality then why on earth would we still be getting gay people in countries such as Uganda where it's heavily persecuted against?

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Originally Posted by Empired

Poor Brad! If you ask me his original post was badly worded and didn't represent what he was actually trying to say. Anyway the idea of finding your sexuality is purely abstract and no two people will ever discover their sexuality in the exact same way. If Brad thinks it's down to traumatic/life experiences, maybe for him it IS down to that. Is it so difficult to believe the origins of peoples' sexualities can come about in different ways?

I'm not entirely sure I agree with all you have to say, Brad, but I actually do kinda see where you're coming from about the idea of "traumatic" experiences. However, I don't think it's necessarily just "traumatic" experiences, but life experiences in general. For example I have no strong, positive male role models in my life and so find it very difficult to be comfortable around males in real life because I don't know how to act around them at all. Because of this, I spend more time around females meaning I'm more likely to end up attracted to one of them because I spend more time getting to know them better, I feel more comfortable around them in general, etc.

The idea of "traumatic" experiences only really seems to impact homosexuals/bisexuals I think. And even then, it doesn't change their sexuality it just suppresses it. So like your family/peers can bully you and make you feel awful about being gay so you try to hide it but it still never actually goes away.

I thought I'd bring back this video for anyone who hasn't seen it. It's an interesting watch and really makes you think:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnOJgDW0gPI

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I like the way you said that no two people find their sexuality the same way, and yes. I think your view has a lot of meaning behind it too because generally everyone wants to be around someone they feel comfortable around whether be the same gender or not.
And suppression is such a better word to use. Thanks for your post. I'll rep it once I'm on a computer since I don't know how to do so on tapatalk


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Originally Posted by buttons

no i didn't choose my sexuality. if i look back, i know i fancied girls when i was already too young to know that it wasn't "normal" or to know what sexuality was.

there's evidence for genetic predispositions, environmental influences, a combination between the two, prenatal stress and hormones.

if you ask a gay person they will most likely say no. unless they're political lesbians, who choose to date women only, despite being attracted to males. choosing to date only one gender is different to actual attraction. i don't think you can force it but then again i don't know what it's like to be only attracted to one gender.

but really @bikini; you've heard people say "i went through ____, so i chose to be gay"?

if a woman told me she'd chosen to be bisexual/lesbian or a man told me he'd chosen to be bisexual/straight then i wouldn't want to date them. afterall, the woman could choose to be straight the next month, or the man choose to be gay after, right?
@Empired; what do you mean you can change your mind about your sexuality if you want to?

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This on so many levels. I never chose who I was attracted to. If anything, it's my genetics since I have always enjoyed both genders since before I could fully understand it. If someone tells you they became gay because of something that hurt them, I don't know how that would even work (Maybe I'm ignorant on that part), but every person of the LGBT community that I know personally have always told me that they were born that way. They all grew up in different forms of lifestyles, economical backgrounds and more with nothing bad happening to them that would turn them gay. They just are what they are and none of us can really explain it.