Originally Posted by
Charz777
I would say I have a less extreme case of this. I don't particularly limit what I eat but if I take a bite of something and it is in some way 'not perfect' either seems a bit undercooked or I feel it tastes slightly off then I won't eat it. The worst for me is food other people make (with the exception of my parents who I trust not to poison me!) I like to eat out or get a takeaway but I'm always concerned about unhygienic cutlery/crockery and it making me ill, or worse, actually being sick. If I eat out or get a takeaway I feel social pressure to eat, particularly if somebody else paid. I always count ahead after I've eaten to six hours when in my head I'm convinced if the food would make me sick it would have done so by then, which sounds silly but I've done it for as long as I can remember. I don't tell my family about the counting because I get enough stick for my paranoid eating habits.
I don't drink. When I was 18, 19-ish I'd go out with friends and have one alcopop and that's it. I've never even been slightly tipsy through the fear of being sick.
I'd actually managed to convince myself that I can't be sick in the sense that I will not let myself be sick even if I can feel it about to happen. I had a very severe vomiting bug as I child which I think terrified me. In recent times I hadn't been sick for 4 years, and that was only from being nil by mouth in the hospital, so I didn't count that as being 'ill.' Before then I can't pinpoint a specific time in my life or a year where I was sick from being ill. Until a few weeks ago where I had dreadful flu and I actually got sick. It was terrifying right before it happened but now I feel I'm almost not so scared; I still hate feeling sick but it's almost like my adult brain has rationalised a little so it's a tiny bit less scary. So maybe I was somewhat scarred from my ordeal as a child.
I'm convinced a lot of the time that I'm going to be sick, even with just a mild stomach ache and everybody tells me it's in my head. I'm almost 22 and still the only person who can calm me down and get me thinking straight once I get myself in a state is my mum. It's very frustrating because you want to live an adult life and not rely on your parents but I've felt held back by my sickness paranoia since a young teenager.
I don't know how to make it any better; I know I will always wash my hands before eating (even though the ladies' room is in the other building a work!) and then sanitise my hands with an anti-bacterial gel. I know I will always be picky about what I eat and then paranoid for hours after. All I can suggest is to keep going with getting used to eating red meat and fish, a little bit at a time. Hope it starts to get better for you :)