The 4th Jule is independence day in America. Do they have a 4th July in England?
Yes.
How many birthdays does the average man have?
One every Year.
Some months have 31 days; how many have 28 days?
All 12.
A woman gives a beggar 50p; the woman is the beggars sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. Why not?
She's the woman's sister.
Why can't a man living in America be buried in Canada?
Because he is alive.
Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? why?
No, as he would be dead.
Two men play 5 games of chess. Each man wins the same number of games and there are no draws. Why?
They didn't play each other?
Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
70
If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have?
2
I have 2 coins that total 55p. One is not a five pence. What are the coins?
A 50 Pence piece and a 5 Pence piece.
If you only have 1 match and you walked into a room where there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which would you light first?
The match.
How far can a dog run into the woods?
Half way.
A farmer had 17 sheep, all but 9 die. How many sheep has he left?
Nine
How many animals of each gender did Moses take onto the ark?
None
A clerk in the butcher shop is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?
Meat
How many 10p stams are there in a dozen?
12
What was the (England) Prime Minister's name in 1950?
Clement Richard Attlee
A rooster is standing on top of a slanted barn roof. The rooster lays an egg. In which direction does the egg fall?
A rooster cannot lay eggs.
How do you spell blond?
Blond is the correct answer (it could be a name), but I'm assuming your question is flawed and you were actually asking how to spell Blonde.
The owner of a bungalow paints everything white, the walls, the floor, the bathroom, the lounge. What colour does he paint the stairs?
White. Bungalow's can have basements and keep their name, so he could've painted the staircase to his basement white.
There is a pine tree in the forest. The wind is blowing to the west at a rate of 10mph. Which way do the leaves blow?
They have no leafs to blow in any direction.
A plane crashes on the border of the U.S.A and Canada. They crashed exactly on the border. In which country do they bury the survivors?
Neither countries; if they're survivors then you wouldn't bury them.
A high speed electric train is travelling south-east at 90mph. The wind is blowing west at 30mph. In what direction is the smoke from the engine blowing?
Electric trains do not emit smoke.
What do cows drink?
Water
What do you put in a toaster?
Bread.
A man owns a green house, what colour are the walls?
Greenhouse's walls are typically made from glass, so no colour other than the light coming through the glass or reflecting off of it.
