Mum May I?

Of course, if it is not a zombie.
Mum, can you help me with my lessons pornography?

Only if Tuesday o clock is PINECONE

Mum can you help me find my jigsaw?

Yes, only if you murder your father with it.

Mum, can I get a new phone?

Yes, as long as you brake it when you get it.

Mum may I write a letter to my friend?

No, because you need a friend to start with.

Mum, can I learn to play the xylophone?

Sure, as long as theres no keys (or we) on the xylophone?

Ma, may I meet the crew of Rizzoli and Isles?

yes , make you sure you die whilst you're there

Mum, may I watch TV

Yes as long as it's turned off

Ma, my I message Tess Gerritsen?

Yes as long as you don't send her the message.

Mum may I go to the park?

Sure as long as you don't go in the park

Ma, may I have some coca cola