Do you think you are born gay or it is a lifestyle?

I'm a straight male, but once had an argument with someone who believed that gay's are born gay.

Now I can see it from both sides, but I've always believed its a choice. Some people prefer the opposite sex and some people prefer the same sex. To me its like, I like some food e.g. Venison that some people hate. They don't like it by choice, they weren't simply born like that.

Now a lot of people will say it runs in the family and will effect certain people. For example I have a cousin who is gay and his uncle, his dad's brother also is gay. Some people think it's in the genes or something, but I highly disagree. I think that that's actually far from the truth.

What is interesting is I remember when I was young at school, and I mean real young, the whole gay idea was thought to be wrong and people would use the whole you dropped your gay card gag to see who actually looked down. To me people like my cousin aren't born gay, they are simply born around gay's and interact with them from an early age and so due to that they gain a different understanding to what others might think and perceive of them.

Now I hope this next part doesn't come across as wrong as it certainty isn't meant to. I kind of wonder if the whole idea of people being born gay is wrong, because to me it makes it sound like a disease. If I was to be a homophobic who believed people where born gay, I may also believe because they where born gay from a gene or something, it was a disease and one that was curable. While as to me it's far from that, it's the mind, its how you feel emotionally. When you fall for a girl, you may have sexual attractions to her, but there's often other stuff, small stuff, that you love, that's nothing to do with that. That comes from you both, nothing written in the body.

But I don't hate people for thinking the opposite, I just don't believe it myself. Let me know what you think. I want to know what gays actually think, do you think you where born gay?

Thread moved by Infectious (Forum Super Moderator): From "Discuss Anything", as it is better suited here!

I believe its some sort of genetic/body defection of some sort, its certainly not a choice however it is a choice to partake in it. I will probably add to this more once more people have commented on it, because we will no doubt have the usual nonsense of the Kinsey scale posted which, apparently, means everyone is homosexual (even if they don't know it themselves!) fancy that.

It's neither a lifestyle nor an innate genetic trait. I believe that just like any other sexual preference it is something that develops (for whatever spectrum of reasons) through one's life. It's not a matter of choice any more than I "choose" to prefer my partners to be a certain way or "choose" to like different foods or music or anything else that's a preference.

It's absolutely ridiculous to say that someone was born gay. I think that'll be the last thing you'll say when someone questions you about your sexuality preference. How can one be born gay? It doesn't make sense to me. It should be how that someone is influenced by the environment including.. people of course.

i don't really know if you are born gay, i'm kind of on the fence about that. but i definitely disagree with you saying that it is a choice, i've read a lot about people not wanting to be gay (because of homophobia they have/will face, and the idea that it is wrong to be gay), you can't just wake up one day and decide that now you like girls/boys.

i think what tom said is more likely, that it develops.

it's confusing though, and also really fascinating. i don't think that question will ever be answered though

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Originally Posted by GirlNextDoor15

It's absolutely ridiculous to say that someone was born gay. I think that'll be the last thing you'll say when someone questions you about your sexuality preference. How can one be born gay? It doesn't make sense to me. It should be how that someone is influenced by the environment including.. people of course.

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why though? why does straight have to be the default setting?

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Originally Posted by Judas

why though? why does straight have to be the default setting?

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From what I know, that's just how it is. I don't think children who knows how to talk will straight away say they're gay? For example, you're a male and I'm a female. Males and females have their own specific traits.

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Originally Posted by GirlNextDoor15

From what I know, that's just how it is. I don't think children who knows how to talk will straight away say they're gay? For example, you're a male and I'm a female. Males and females have their own specific traits.

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Yeah, they don't know how to talk... So how can they tell you they're straight as well?

But obviously young children don't even understand sexual orientation though. I remember being reaaaally young, before I ever went to school, and being attracted to both men and women. Obviously it wasn't until much later on that I realised I was attracted to them, because I didn't understand. But I was...

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Originally Posted by Judas

Yeah, they don't know how to talk... So how can they tell you they're straight as well?

But obviously young children don't even understand sexual orientation though. I remember being reaaaally young, before I ever went to school, and being attracted to both men and women. Obviously it wasn't until much later on that I realised I was attracted to them, because I didn't understand. But I was...

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Ok. They might not tell you they're straight but can they tell you that they are gay?
If children don't know what is sexual orientation, then will they know what does 'gay' mean? Or they will eventually know after being exposed to those things and then, decide what they really attracted to. They'll be influenced by then.

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Originally Posted by GirlNextDoor15

Ok. They might not tell you they're straight but can they tell you that they are gay?
If children don't know what is sexual orientation, then will they know what does 'gay' mean? Or they will eventually know after being exposed to those things and then, decide what they really attracted to. They'll be influenced by then.

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just because you don't know what it means, it doesn't mean you can't be gay/straight/bi. like i said, i remember finding both men and women attractive when i was really young, as in 2/3 years old. but i didn't really understand what i was feeling or care too much either. but it wasn't until many years later that i realised i had been bisexual for as long as i can remember.

they won't understand sexual orientation at all, so they won't even know what 'straight' means.

i discovered the meaning of 'gay' before 'straight' lol

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Originally Posted by Judas

just because you don't know what it means, it doesn't mean you can't be gay/straight/bi. like i said, i remember finding both men and women attractive when i was really young, as in 2/3 years old. but i didn't really understand what i was feeling or care too much either. but it wasn't until many years later that i realised i had been bisexual for as long as i can remember.

they won't understand sexual orientation at all, so they won't even know what 'straight' means.

i discovered the meaning of 'gay' before 'straight' lol

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Well, that's what you feel. But, they cannot be born gay. It's not a talent or whatsoever. It's just how you feel and what you like after years and years of gaining experiences (with sex and stuff). Some of the 'gay' people just find it cool to say that they're gay since there's a lot of gay people standing up for themselves at this time.