The love of my life or my best mate. Who do I choose?

Hey there,

So here's the problem, I have sort of liked a girl for a long long time (since year 7 (four years ago)), and over the last year or so she was really flirty with me and everybody reckonded she 'blatantly' liked me. I didn't do anything about it as I was sort of shy and a little confused.

Now my best mate is with her, even though he knew I liked her he still went on to ask her out, this I did not immediately have a problem with; but lately I have begun to notice her more and more. Both she and my friend have a very rocky relationship and have broken up twice within as many months, both times he asked me for advice and both times I got her and him back together.

But now what do I do? Should I leave it and let her go forever, or should I stop the good advice and hope the worst comes between the two of them? I have been pondering for weeks and I cannot make my mind up, would we hit it off? What would happen to our frienship? Would either of them find out what I had done? What if I lost them both?

I need real, impartial advice and I need it now! The girl continues to have the occasional flirt with me and still seems interested. But is she really?

SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE :(

Adam.

Ok well, if he was really your "best mate" why would he go after her when he knew you liked her. And if something happens the next time between them, offer help but hope for the worse. Now this may sound cruel, but this seems like the only way you will get the girl, and you might be mates with him. If they happen to break up, talk to your mate and tell him that you want to go out with this girl. Hopefully he understands and then well life goes on.

I hope this wasn't too confusing. :s But anyways, i wish you goodluck with whatever happens.

Sorry to confuse you but he knows I liked her a little, and that's all he knew.

Thanks for the advice mate.

Confront them with the offer of a threesome, that way everyone's happy.

Yeah I'm sure that will go down well o.O

Honestly, if you like the girl, go for it? your friend didn't care about your feelings so why should you care about his. He's for sure not your true friend.

I understand your problem, as it has recently happened to me.

Let the girl go, move on. Trust me, it will help alot more than waiting for your chance with her. If she liked you, she would be with you and not him. If she still flirts with you, tell her to "shove it" or more polite, "Is this your way of being friendly?".

Move on, and live the future and not the past.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by additional

I understand your problem, as it has recently happened to me.

Let the girl go, move on. Trust me, it will help alot more than waiting for your chance with her. If she liked you, she would be with you and not him. If she still flirts with you, tell her to "shove it" or more polite, "Is this your way of being friendly?".

Move on, and live the future and not the past.

---

Live for the present I say. Take whatever comes and kick it in the balls. Thats what makes life exciting.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by FlyingJesus

Confront them with the offer of a threesome, that way everyone's happy.

---

:Sign10: I think, when they;ve broken up again (if they do) ask her out. Becasue in a way, thats exactly what he did to you, and if it succeeds between the boht of you good luck for the future.
- Dave

Thanks all <3

Flip a coin. Nuff said.

Not read any of the posts cos I dont have time.

Anyhoo, from experience ~ You need to find out if the girl actually does like you! If she doesn't and is just wanting some fun flirting, it could all end up in tears with you losing both of them. However, if she does actually have feelings for you in return, then I say go for it. Whats the point in both of you really liking each other, but theres just someone in the middle?

He obviously didn't care about your feelings either, so I wouldn't worry about it.



As they say - Alls fair in love and war...

listen ye, always but always have it the way you want
because lets say you helped him and got her for him,
once he wont need you he will just forget about you
and you would lose out

There isn't one way of going for this, you know that?

It depends if your friend is a little shy - not one of those outgoing, types. If he IS a little shy, and this might be his first or second girlfriend, then asking this girl to go out with you in certain terms will ruin your relationship. Now, as far as boyfriends-girlfriends go it seems to be a temporary thing, but mates last years after school. If you have an arguement in (Year 11, is it? You'd be 17???) - with your best mate, chances are that you might ruin a long-time friendship that could last after school.
You don't want that to happen because friends not speaking to each other and being cold for a long time is pretty bad, especially if he's been your mate since Year 7.
On the other hand; if he HAS known that you liked this girl he has risked your friendship by asking her out - and it might seem to you it would be fair to do the same thing, seeing I'm assuming your friendship hasn't been damaged.
You need to have a talk to him first. Whatever you do; don't just ask this girl out in the middle of a relationship-depression between those two and expect your friend will ever talk to you again. Talk to him - tell him about it, if he get's angry - it isn't your fault, you could have just asked her out already.
Keep in mind she might not particularly like you, she might just think you're cute, in which case if you asked her out, and your friend found out about it, you'd lose them both.
That's my advice - talk to your mate or wait until they break up for good. It isn't your job to 'get them back together.' Not at all. So don't do it.
That's my advice.

+rep sedei :).

go for her man!!! if she likes you then go for it coz u obviouslt like her!!!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by baby-wabbit123

go for her man!!! if she likes you then go for it coz u obviouslt like her!!!

---

Lol Ye what he said :p

get in there mate.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by FlyingJesus

Confront them with the offer of a threesome, that way everyone's happy.

---

How did I know you would say that :rolleyes:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by :newsie

Hey there,

So here's the problem, I have sort of liked a girl for a long long time (since year 7 (four years ago)), and over the last year or so she was really flirty with me and everybody reckonded she 'blatantly' liked me. I didn't do anything about it as I was sort of shy and a little confused.

Now my best mate is with her, even though he knew I liked her he still went on to ask her out, this I did not immediately have a problem with; but lately I have begun to notice her more and more. Both she and my friend have a very rocky relationship and have broken up twice within as many months, both times he asked me for advice and both times I got her and him back together.

But now what do I do? Should I leave it and let her go forever, or should I stop the good advice and hope the worst comes between the two of them? I have been pondering for weeks and I cannot make my mind up, would we hit it off? What would happen to our frienship? Would either of them find out what I had done? What if I lost them both?

I need real, impartial advice and I need it now! The girl continues to have the occasional flirt with me and still seems interested. But is she really?

SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE :(

Adam.

---

Give him wrong advice, doesn't matter.. If you've liked her for that long, and she finally likes you, go for it!

Be a man and tell him how you feel then be a man again and tell her how you feel.