Funny jokes for a change

G'day mates i've seen ppl post everythin bad so y not the good???
i'll start off:

Blonde walks up to the counter and says, "I'd like a Big Mac, small fries and a medium Coke please."

The lady behind the counter says, "Miss, this is a library."

And the Blonde whispers "Oops sorry! I'd like a Big Mac, small fries and a medium Coke please."

Concentric - Moderator
The Discussion forum is for members to discuss their views on issues, jokes do not fall into this category and are more suited to the Anything not to do with habbo(x) section.

I got one...

A blonde and a brunette are falling down a cliff, who falls first?

The brunette coz the blonde asked for directions

lol thought u said good .... lol jk they are cool

ya lol ne more?

I've got one,
A blonde goes in a fish and chips and asks for 2small chips =)
(my friend did this)
boy and not blonde

Quote:

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Originally Posted by wootzy

I've got one,
A blonde goes in a fish and chips and asks for 2small chips =)
(my friend did this)
boy and not blonde

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I dont get that joke lol!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by frontslide

I dont get that joke lol!

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me neither boy and not blond?

*Deleted By nvrspk4 ;) *

Edit By nvrspk4 Forum Mod- Please keep it clean. This is innapropriate

*Deleted*

Edit By nvrspk4 Forum Mod-Post deleted, let's move on with the thread :)

A man was walking in a park when he saw a blonde hanging from a tree by her wrist...
"what you doing up there lassie?" he asked
"I've had enough, I'm commiting suicide, GO AWAY!!"
"Ok, but shouldn't the rope be aroud your neck?"
"It was but i couldn't breathe" replied the blonde

:p

Ha ha, thats a good one, i've got a few good ones...
1.A duck walks into a bar and says 'can i have some quackers?'
the bartender says 'we dont do quackers sorry'
so the next day the duck comes back in and says 'can i have some quackers?' the bartender says 'im sorry, as i said before, we DONT do quackers' so the next day the duck went back in and said 'can i have some quackers' the bartender says fiercly 'look we don't sell quackers, and next time you come in, i am going to hammer your beak to the ground with nails' so the duck comes back the next day and the bartender says 'i warned you' the duck says 'do you have nails?' the bartender answers 'no' the duck then says 'do you have a hammer?' the bartender replys 'no' the duck then asks with a smirk on his face 'can i have some quackers?'

2.three men are sitting round a table with there wives, and one says to there wife 'pass the sugar, sugar' and the other man goes to his wife 'pass the honey, honey' then the other man says to his wife 'pass the milk, cow'

3.A state trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason that you were weaving all over the road?". The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here. I almost had an accident. I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me". Reaching through the side window to the rearview mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am....thats your air freshener!"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Azela

A man was walking in a park when he saw a blonde hanging from a tree by her wrist...
"what you doing up there lassie?" he asked
"I've had enough, I'm commiting suicide, GO AWAY!!"
"Ok, but shouldn't the rope be aroud your neck?"
"It was but i couldn't breathe" replied the blonde

:p

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wow tht is 1 of meh best 1's i have eva heard lol

Like my joke rep me?



Thats a good joke, cause no one will :p

i gt another blond 1 i don't know if it is funny or wht...

One day there was a blonde trying to unlock the car with a hanger.A man walked up and asked "did you lock your keys in your car?"
She said, No, I just washed my car and I am trying to hang it up to dry.

:s :s

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Azela

Like my joke rep me?



Thats a good joke, cause no one will :p

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kk i've repped u should rep me xP

Please don't double post, edit you're last message to add extra comments. - :Illusion

Heres a reason not to pick your nose.... ( Let it load )


http://img173.exs.cx/img173/4504/eye5qv.jpg



p.s Tidus i'll rep you

plz stop i don't wanna c ne more sick pics..

I'll think it's very good... :)

its yucky *shiver goes down spine*

ne more peeps wanna tell me a joke? best wins rep! *woohoo*

Again, edit you're last message if you need to add extra comments. - :Illusion

Eurgh that pic's horrible!!!!!

A blonde, brunette and redhead are spending a day at the local spa. They all go to the toilets. Outside the ladies' a strange woman is sitting by a table. She points at the girls and says 'As soon as you walk in there you will have the power to get something you really want by saying something true to the mirror. Lie, and get pulled into the mirror for eternity'. So the girls walk in. The brunette goes over to the mirror and says 'I think I am the prettiest out of all of us' and a sackful of money lands at her feet. The rehead says 'I think I am the cleverest out of all of us' and gets bagfuls of expensive clothes. The blonde goes to the mirror and says 'I think...' and immediately gets pulled into the mirror.

(Sorry for the looooong joke :p)

haha tht is a good 1 rep added

how bout this 1 * a bit cheesy*

While my friend was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him. Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family, "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"
"What is it? her sisters asked eagerly.
Proudly she replied, "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"

Do not double post! Three times in one thread, might want to take a look at these. - :Illusion

Lol that's cool ;) I've got another one (kinda weird but hey ;))

A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. 'I'm OK but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,' he answered. 'What did he say,' asked the nurse. The man says 'OOPS!'

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head, they are all in a potato factory, and they here the guards coming, so they each jump into a sack of potatoes, then the guard kicks the sack with the brunette and the brunette says 'woof' so the guard says 'its just a dog'. so then he kicks the sack that has the red head in it, and the red head goes 'meow' so the guard says 'its just a cat' then he kicks the sack with the blonde, and the blonde goes 'potatoes'....

Heh heh XD

English Man , Irish man , Scottish Man And A Welsh Man Are In A Boat

The Welsh man Dies

Scottish Man Says I Support Hearts So Ill Eat His Heart

Irish Man Says I Support Liverpool So Ill Eat His Liver

English Man Says Nothing For A Minute

Then He Says I Support Arsenal But Im Not Hungry

:p Its An Old One But I Like It





Another



English Man , Irish Man And A Scottish Man Are At The Top Of A Mountain

A Fairy Flys To Them And Says

'' Jump Off The Mountain And Yell Wat You Want And It Will Be At The Bottom Waiting, Unless You All Say The Same Thing And Go At Once Then you'll Get Triple The Stuff''

When She Leaves They All Pick Gold

All 3 Jump At Once Yelling Gold

Their Almost At The Bottom When The Fairy Returns

Yelling Omg I Forgot One Of The Has 2 Say Something Soft


And Its Not This Mountain It's That One Over There


:p Thank You , Thank You :D

ok i have to sensor this a bit

*and sorry mods if its still a bit to rude*

1) did u hear the one about the short-sited circumsizer? - he got the sack!

2) wot did the man say when a bird pooped on him? - s word!! (theres the censorship hope u still get it)

and the last of me bad jokes:

3) why did the man get sacked from his post at the banana factory? - he thru all the bent ones away!

there terrible i know lol

edit: and 1 more - arent u lucky?

did u hear about the fireman? he got fired lol :eusa_clap

well i like them

:eusa_danc
There was an English Man, Irish Man & a Scottish Man!
They are of the top of a hill and a genie says when you jmp of the hill you will land in wotever you ask for!

Irish Man says Money and lands in a pile of money!
Scottish Man says Soft Gold Pillows and lands in a pile of soft gold pillows!
English Man trips on a twig and says S*** and lands in a pile of S*** :eusa_danc

Sorry about the Swearing Mods!
:eusa_pray :eusa_pray
Don't Ban Me :eusa_pray :eusa_pray :eusa_pray

*Goes back to blondes*


How do u know when a blondes been on misrosoft word?
Theres tip-x on the monitor! :p

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Because it was stuck to the chickens foot!

xD
That beats all of ya!

JANE! You told me that one already! It's TERRIBLE!

Yes, even if it is filtered, don't swear. Poo is just as good to use :)

There was a blonde woman she went into a curtain shop and she said hi i would like these curtains here
Man replys: What size do you want them?
Blonde replys: 8 x 8 inches
Man replys: 8 x 8 Inches! thats too small!
Blonde replys: Its for my computer..
Computers dont need curtains!
Blonde replys: hellloooooooOooO I've got windows
That one ruless!!!
Rep me if you think its good :)

erm im not very good at jokes but here goes ;)
Why did the chicken cross the road?






To get to the other side...im sure youve never heard that one before :p

Lol not a bad joke there =]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sampson123

erm im not very good at jokes but here goes ;)
Why did the chicken cross the road?






To get to the other side...im sure youve never heard that one before :p

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i've never heard of that 1 in my life and i must say that is the best ever!
[ sarcastic ]

ps omg i double posted 3 times :p