Written From The Hand Of God
Please do not read if you are offended by the mockery of the christian religion!
You have been warned!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-God's PRIVATE Notebook-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Written from the hand of: God
Written on the date of: Some year of 2000
Well these past 2 milleniums have been good for me. I swear in gods name (excuse my blasphemy) i am so worn out! My social calender has been packed full since attending all christian mass's has become a must do on the religion charter. And phwoar all those prayers! Sorry if i havn't been answering them guys i have had too much to do. If you have any questions just ask the bearded man up your street, he's close enough to me.
Well there is another reason i have been busy. I have been writing a new bible! So there is an up side. I am re-writing it because my old one has all those old words like 'ye' and 'though'. Dont worry this one is loads more exciting! Forget people being eaten by whales, bring in the derbey racers tearing up human corpses and stuff. And those 10 commandments, pfft, check your local community centre i am re writing those too. Heres an example:
"Though shalt not steal" turns into "Ya cnt steal man, k?"
And i am adding another one too:
"Ya dnt haff ta go 2 church on sundayz"
I hope you like them.
Oi and i got a joke for you too, Zeuz told it me the other day.
What is red white a blue and smells of wee?
The ring and ride bus! *chuckles*
According to the other gods i have been talking to like Buddha and the other guys Islam is the new christianity, so i suggest you convert soon. And as for that big question: "Do we go to heaven when we die?" The answer is no. Heaven is getting really cramped. The only spare space is down in hell. So theres no point being good because it wont help you.
Anyway this notice has been wrote and printed and laminated and stuck to every church door. (Microsoft word is gods newest mircale). So i hope that everyone will read it, not that they will because not many people come here anymore.
Goodnight and God Bless,
Big Guy In The Sky
