Friends. Advice please?

Ok to make sure this makes sense I will give some background information first.

I've known my 'best friend' since year 3, in year 8/9 we became very close friends and was for a couple of years. Towards the end of year 10 I started going out with another close friend and some other people a lot, we would drink but my 'best friend' didn't like that so didn't come with us, and would always make me feel guilty & stuff. So I stopped going out with other people, I would only go out with my 'best friend' and felt like I had to stay with her because if I spoke to other people she would get annoyed. So i've burnt all my bridges really.

Theres this girl from school, I will call her 'girl A', who me and my 'best friend' would ususally hang round with, however my 'best friend' would always say horrible things about 'girl A' which was really quite annoying
because she was nice to her face.

For the past year I have been having big problems at home, not with my family but with some neighbours... death threats, verbal abuse, anti-social behaviour basically. Police & council involved. So I haven't really been myself, for a while I didn't want to go out, because i felt scared & upset etc. I thought my 'best friend' would understand, but obviously not.
She said i've been distant, and took it personally even though i've told her how the problems have affected me. She made me feel like I had to say sorry all the time, but I couldn't help how i felt. So I just put on a front and tried to pretend to be happy.

Then my 'best friend' started to get really close to 'girl A'. The
last couple of months of year 11 'best friend' and 'girl A' would go out a lot together, i only found about it afterwards, they hardly told me before they were going, and when they did they never asked me, and yeah i could have asked to come but i dont like feeling like a burden. Then the last couple of weeks of year 11 they would go round each others houses after school, one time my 'best friend' asked me if I was coming at the end of the day, i said no 1 because it seemed like she was just asking for the sake of asking, not because she wanted me to come and 2 because they had been talking about it all day and waited untill the last minute to ask me.

'best friend' and 'girl a' are still close, its like they are the best friends and i am 'girl a'. I go out with them sometimes but i always feel like 3 is a crowd. So ususally i just stay at home. To be honest i don't like my 'best friend' much any more. It might sound like i'm just jelous, but i'm really not, i'm just quite upset because we used to be so close.

So yeah, i think it might be best to go out with new people, but i've burnt all my bridges and pretty much lost all confidence,so it is easier said than done. I start college on friday, and am nervous about meeting new people but I don't want to keep feeling like this.

Sorry that this is so long, I hope it makes sense.
Thank you very much if you have read it, any advice would be really appreciated.

In my opinion, it sounds like typical teenage girls being cows.

There isn't really anything you can do apart from bring your "best friend" up on it, ask her why she isn't asking you to go places with her etc. Don't do it in an antagonising way. Just let her know it's upsetting you.

She will either see what a cow she is being, or be really patronising.

But you'll never know if you don't try.

It may all fix itself, but it's always best to give it a little push.

It will only be a matter of time before you make new friends at college. And don't keep looking back into the past, look forward to the furture. You'll make news friends. And you should try talking to your 'Best friend' or 'Girl A' on their own and explains your problems to them and tell them how you feel. Good luck

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Originally Posted by Hecktix

In my opinion, it sounds like typical teenage girls being cows.

There isn't really anything you can do apart from bring your "best friend" up on it, ask her why she isn't asking you to go places with her etc. Don't do it in an antagonising way. Just let her know it's upsetting you.

She will either see what a cow she is being, or be really patronising.

But you'll never know if you don't try.

It may all fix itself, but it's always best to give it a little push.

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Thanks. Yeah I think I will talk to her about it, even if I decide not to hang round with her, it will make me just as bad if I just cut her out of my life.

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Originally Posted by Neurotic

It will only be a matter of time before you make new friends at college. And don't keep looking back into the past, look forward to the furture. You'll make news friends. And you should try talking to your 'Best friend' or 'Girl A' on their own and explains your problems to them and tell them how you feel. Good luck

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Thank you. You're right I need to stop looking back into the past otherwise I will get no where.

I will talk to my 'best friend' although we are hardly ever alone, 'girl a' is usually there too. Do you think it needs to be done face to face, or would it be ok to do it through email or something??

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Originally Posted by Behkey

Thank you. You're right I need to stop looking back into the past otherwise I will get no where.

I will talk to my 'best friend' although we are hardly ever alone, 'girl a' is usually there too. Do you think it needs to be done face to face, or would it be ok to do it through email or something??

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I think face to face will be better.

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Originally Posted by Neurotic

I think face to face will be better.

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Me Too.

Good Luck.

Sucks to be a girl, with all the *****ing.

I think you were stupid to stop talking to people you liked because your "best friend" got jealous. Should've told her to stop whining.

Is there any chance you can possibly build the bridges with the other people? Aswell as sorting this out with your best friend. Cos if your best friend can hang out with someone else, then so can you.

And if she doesn't agree, then she really isn't much of a best friend.

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Originally Posted by Ozzinator

Is there any chance you can possibly build the bridges with the other people? Aswell as sorting this out with your best friend. Cos if your best friend can hang out with someone else, then so can you.

And if she doesn't agree, then she really isn't much of a best friend.

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Yeah i'm going to work on building bridges with other people, and try to sort it out with my bestfriend.

Thanks everyone for all your advice, i've got a few things to think about. No need to post any more though :)

Exactly what my mates' doing, there growing up =/