I felt like writing something eery.

Darkness, taking shape. A figure?
I wake, sweat rolls down my face, i decide to take a shower.
There, again. In the vapour, the figure.
I look again, nothing.
I clamber downstairs, no idea what is happening.
I stick some bread in the toaster.
I look in the smoke, what? a face?
I eat the toast, constantly looking around.
Is something watching me?
I grab the keys and walk outside.
I see an empty cigarete packet on the pavement.
Only one word remains of the warning.
The bold, black text standing out.
"Death"
I think nothing of it and walk on.
I see a dead pigeon in the gutter
Trampled flowers in the beds
I feel something brush past me.
I look up, nothing.
I catch snippets of other conversations.
"You'll catch your death"
"This job is going to be the death of be"
A see a billboard
A bus blocks most of it
One word is visible
"Death"
I begin to panic
Death everywhere
I begin to run
People stare
I do not care
I run until i see my castle
I slam the door
Safe inside these walls
Something grasps my shoulder...



Don't ask LOL

crap, lol.
Im joking, I really couldnt be bothered reading but from the first line it sounds good

first line is good because it made me want to read more.

but i just couldn't be bothered, but i do expect it is good. :]

^^ why post if you didn't read it?


Anyways, it's pretty good. Made me imagine a lot of creepy stuff :P

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LiquidAciid

^^ why post if you didn't read it?


Anyways, it's pretty good. Made me imagine a lot of creepy stuff :P

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i did, just not all of it.
i told him what i thought of the first line.

Um.. Has anybody actually read the whole thing?

I thought it was very good. Well done!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Relax

Um.. Has anybody actually read the whole thing?

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You'd think that me complimenting it would suggest that I had read it, guess not?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LiquidAciid

You'd think that me complimenting it would suggest that I had read it, guess not?

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Sorry, i only glanced over the posts. Must've missed it :8

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Relax

Darkness, taking shape. A figure?
I wake, sweat rolls down my face, i decide to take a shower.
There, again. In the vapour, the figure.
I look again, nothing.
I clamber downstairs, no idea what is happening.
I stick some bread in the toaster.
I look in the smoke, what? a face?
I eat the toast, constantly looking around.
Is something watching me?
I grab the keys and walk outside.
I see an empty cigarete packet on the pavement.
Only one word remains of the warning.
The bold, black text standing out.
"Death"
I think nothing of it and walk on.
I see a dead pigeon in the gutter
Trampled flowers in the beds
I feel something brush past me.
I look up, nothing.
I catch snippets of other conversations.
"You'll catch your death"
"This job is going to be the death of be"
A see a billboard
A bus blocks most of it
One word is visible
"Death"
I begin to panic
Death everywhere
I begin to run
People stare
I do not care
I run until i see my castle
I slam the door
Safe inside these walls
Something grasps my shoulder...



Don't ask LOL

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Typos? And its good, but im a little confused she (i assume its a she) says she is safe then isnt and also, she has the figure following her, but it always seems to be a shadow, then it grabs here?

I only read half of it but it seems good wd

X

I think writing eery/violent stuff is best :)
Lets your imagination really go to town :P