Mum..

My mum puts me down so much, every detail, from how I look onwards. I will be doing some work, and she always tries to catch me not working, as if i lie, she knows how stressed i am with exams, yet she accuses me of pretending to be working. She also shouts at me, for something the dog would do, and when i mean shout i mean scream till your throat hurts. She drove my Dad away, and plays mindgames to make me hate him, even tho she says he does that but he really doesn't. So anyway, she shouts non stop, and it causes me to shout, i can't really describe how much i hate my life, she tells me non stop how horrible i am, how she wishes i would leave, how horrible i look wearing what ever i am wearing, and then when other people are around she acts so nice and fake, she claims she has depression but i think it's an excuse for her to not go to work. I try telling her how upset she makes me feel, like today i told her how hard i work and how she puts me down really makes me not want to bother with exams anymore, and she punished me. I cry everyday, and tried to kill myself once because of her, before you ask i am not a emo i just feel so unwanted.

You need to speak to someone about this. Its not right for you to be treated so negatively all the time. Is there a aunty or Gran you can speak to. If there is there anybody else you can trust - a teacher maybe? I feel for you it must be terrible. People do act like this when they are depressed but you shouldn't have to suffer for it :( You are wanted by your friends at Habbox though, Lizzie.

No one really, my Dad would go mad, i don't want to cause trouble, my Gran would stick up for my mum tbh, I can't talk to my dad's side of the family because my mum gets even worse if i do as she hates them. And plus, i can't talk about it i just break down.

You could go see a counciler at school or something I've heard they're very good

Tbh i am kind of embarressed about it, non of my friends know, and i kinda hide it away, but now she's made me so self consious i don't like leaving the house, for school, to go out, i just do nothing because i hate it.

If you break down its kinda good if you do it infront of a caring person, they will realise how sad you are.

Do you love her, if not get her arrested for child neglectivity/abuse :)

If you are with somone that is quite a strong caring person then go to them. If you are with your dad your mum can't hurt you.

At the end of the day tho she is my mum, if i go to live with my dad she will disown me she practically said it. I got enough stress with my exams and all atm that i can't really afford to move around homes.

*cyber cuddle*

She sounds like a mother, not a mum. Parents should NEVER play mind games with their children to make them hate the other parent. My mom NEVER degraded my dad in front of me when I was yonger. She might take the odd jab at him now, but I am old enough to understand. I do favor my mom over my dad, because my mom is the one who raised me, my dad lives in another country so I can't visit him when ever I want.

I feel really bad for you and your situation, you need to get out of her house because sometimes the emotional abuse can be worse than the physical abuse. If she is going to do that to you, she deserves to be alone.

you need to tell someone, otherwise nothing may change. you say you feel embarassed and stuff, but being embarassed for a few minutes could make your homelife so much better.

Ok, So you could see an online councellor im sure there is some around, or you could tell one of your closet friends and tell them to promise not to tell anyone, i suggest someone the same gender as you as they will understand more personal things. I also think that you could tell your mum to give you a bit of space, ya'no? Or why dont you take a break for a week to a friends house / family members house, and just have a break.

=]

ox

Sometimes, talking to someone and then crying infront of them can persuade them to want help you. You don't usually cry for no reason, you do it because you have to and can't help it, and it gets whats inside you out. Try find somone you can trust. I totally agree with Catzsy also. If your mum continues to do this, maybe give her the taste of her own medicine.

Its sounds almost like the roles have been reversed and you are the sensible one and she is acting like the child. She sounds emotionally wrecked but she needs to put you first and somebody should tell her that. Perhaps you could approach the family doctor because what you say is confidential to them?

Anyway I remembered Ostinato had a list of sites and this is one that you may like to look at.
http://www.youth2youth.co.uk/index.htm

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Originally Posted by Catzsy

You need to speak to someone about this. Its not right for you to be treated so negatively all the time. Is there a aunty or Gran you can speak to. If there is there anybody else you can trust - a teacher maybe? I feel for you it must be terrible. People do act like this when they are depressed but you shouldn't have to suffer for it :( You are wanted by your friends at Habbox though, Lizzie.

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because that makes everything better
LOL.

Edited by Minty (Forum Moderator): Please do not be rude.

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Originally Posted by kerplunkwozere

because that makes everything better
LOL.

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Was that meant to be sarky? If so please remember that the people on this forum are real and have real feelings. Thanks :)

Just by reading how upset you are by what is happening to you the first thing i think you should consider is to talk to someone whos closest to you or someone who is uderstanding.

If not then as allready advised, keeping it squeezed up inside you will really brake you down and at important times like these you can't afford to feel so horrible.

It may be that your mum does suffer from something that you and her may not be aware of, it may not be the case but you just never know. I don't wish to put bad thoughts into your head or make random sugestions. But really do talk to someone.

A close friend knows the basics, not how my Mum is with me, but about all the family problems we have, there's no teacher at school who i conect with, i don't feel i can turn to any of them, my mum has weekly counsiling for her depression, but all she does is lie so i don't see the point. If i say, why lie, she says " want me to tell the truth about such a wounderful daughter i got" obvi in a sarcastic way.

But yeah, thankyou to all who answered, i guess it helped typing it all out just to let it out.
:)

I feel so sad for you, you could call childline or you should just talk to someone you trust and know a teacher would be a good option and just tell him/her that puts you down and then they should be able to sort it out, usually when this happens a social worker comes to your house to help both of you bond so try and do it even if you breakdown it still will help your future

You Should go speak to someone about this, family anyone you can trust and even a teacher, but dont worry, but if u dont go to someone this may get worse into physical abuse (if it has not already) just phone childline they will sort it out and let you go with your dad?

My mum is exactly the same,
she always argues with my dad for no reason
and always seems to want to start an arguement with me..
also, she is really unfair and treats my brother and sister way beter than me tbh, its so annoying =/
I don't know what you could do, perhaps tell her what a *REMOVED* she is and hope it makes her see sense?
If not tell on her lol

Edited By nvrspk4 (Assistant General Manager): Please do not avoid the filter.

That seems truly horrible, I’m like the opposite with my mum. She loves me to bits and my twin sister. She can’t stand when things go wrong. If I was you I would just shout you’re the worse mum I have ever had, and no one no one likes you why don’t you get of your lazy *** and get a job and stop dissing your only daughter. Then say you want to give live with your dad, I don’t honestly think your gran would take your mums side if she’s threatening to disown you. Maybe talk to another relative about this and tell them how your mum is treating you. She can’t possibly disown you. After all you’re her baby. Just ask her Mum can I live we my dad or my aunty or uncle. Someone who actually cares for me? When she says you look horrible you should argue with her stand up to her and say you can’t talk at least I’m on my way for a good education unlike you who can’t be bothered to get a job. What’s the point in you being here mum? No one likes you then tell her she’s pathetic. Call child line if she continues or someone who can give you more advice then I can.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Catzsy

You need to speak to someone about this. Its not right for you to be treated so negatively all the time. Is there a aunty or Gran you can speak to. If there is there anybody else you can trust - a teacher maybe? I feel for you it must be terrible. People do act like this when they are depressed but you shouldn't have to suffer for it :( You are wanted by your friends at Habbox though, Lizzie.

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i agree i think you should. and also i don't think you should see family i think you should call or go to someone profesionaly or something like that becuase i have a best friend who is not in rehab in southhampton. And my best best friend has not got help with her selfharming and its kinda getting better so it does help :)

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Originally Posted by Palda

That seems truly horrible, I’m like the opposite with my mum. She loves me to bits and my twin sister. She can’t stand when things go wrong. If I was you I would just shout you’re the worse mum I have ever had, and no one no one likes you why don’t you get of your lazy *** and get a job and stop dissing your only daughter. Then say you want to give live with your dad, I don’t honestly think your gran would take your mums side if she’s threatening to disown you. Maybe talk to another relative about this and tell them how your mum is treating you. She can’t possibly disown you. After all you’re her baby. Just ask her Mum can I live we my dad or my aunty or uncle. Someone who actually cares for me? When she says you look horrible you should argue with her stand up to her and say you can’t talk at least I’m on my way for a good education unlike you who can’t be bothered to get a job. What’s the point in you being here mum? No one likes you then tell her she’s pathetic. Call child line if she continues or someone who can give you more advice then I can.

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I think this is out of order and will not help her at all. Take your head out of your *** for a minuite and think before you post!

If i were you babe,

i'd tell your mum:

Look, things need to change otherwise you won't see me around.

it's hard to change people. maybe you could live with your Dad for a while until she realises?

Make sure she knows how much you hate it. Be a drama queen. Things must change.

LOOOL, Ledgendonlegs I can say whatever I want. That is really what i would do, your only telling her to call childline which i do agree with as I said so in my post. It seems to me like the mother is basicly bullying her own child which is disgraceful. I would actually argue with my mum if she was the one doing all this. Teenages are meant to have some attitude. She should ask her mum whys she such a horrible cow and treats her like crap. That's what i would do.

Im just stating out my advide like she asked for.

*Removed*

Soz hun, but i'm just saying how it is. Unlike you who keeps telling her to get professional help. It's the mother who needs that.
She should either call childline
Stand up to her mother
Tell a relative

That's really all she can do and ledgend w/e you should really think about writing your own advice insted of just agreeing/disagreeing with others.

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Originally Posted by -Undiscovered

My mum puts me down so much, every detail, from how I look onwards. I will be doing some work, and she always tries to catch me not working, as if i lie, she knows how stressed i am with exams, yet she accuses me of pretending to be working. She also shouts at me, for something the dog would do, and when i mean shout i mean scream till your throat hurts. She drove my Dad away, and plays mindgames to make me hate him, even tho she says he does that but he really doesn't. So anyway, she shouts non stop, and it causes me to shout, i can't really describe how much i hate my life, she tells me non stop how horrible i am, how she wishes i would leave, how horrible i look wearing what ever i am wearing, and then when other people are around she acts so nice and fake, she claims she has depression but i think it's an excuse for her to not go to work. I try telling her how upset she makes me feel, like today i told her how hard i work and how she puts me down really makes me not want to bother with exams anymore, and she punished me. I cry everyday, and tried to kill myself once because of her, before you ask i am not a emo i just feel so unwanted.

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Ok For a Starus Don't let your mum talk to you like that. Say why are oyu being so mean? I wish you never had me. If that don;t work tell her you want her to disown you, i'd rather have no mum at all then someone who is that mean. Call childline tell them about it ask what you should do. If I was you, I'd call your dad, tell him you fool so scared and horrible. Tell them you tried to kill youself and how hard life is. Maybe tell a friend you can trust at school, see if she/he will help? i mean what are friends for?

Anyway don't kill yourself, why should you have no life because of what your mums done? Maybe you should call childcare or relatives or maybe even the police if it's that serious.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Palda

That seems truly horrible, I’m like the opposite with my mum. She loves me to bits and my twin sister. She can’t stand when things go wrong. If I was you I would just shout you’re the worse mum I have ever had, and no one no one likes you why don’t you get of your lazy *** and get a job and stop dissing your only daughter. Then say you want to go live with your dad. I don’t honestly think your gran would take your mums side if she’s threatening to disown you. Maybe talk to another relative about this and tell them how your mum is treating you. She can’t possibly disown you. After all you’re her baby. Just ask you Mum if you can live with you dad or your aunty or uncle. Someone who actually cares for you. When she says you look horrible you should argue with her stand up to her and say you can’t talk at least I’m on my way for a good education unlike you who can’t be bothered to get a job. What’s the point in you being here mum? No one likes you then tell her she’s pathetic. Call child line if she continues or someone who can give you more advice then I can.

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Ok i think i have made my corrections. Didn't check what i put. Made some mistakes, but ledgend seriously you're the one who should get a life. Telling people what advice to put. It's my own oppinion. :D Sorry but you're really stupid.

Also maybe call the hosbital tell them your mum need's help and you don't want to live in the same house as her. Speak out, it's your life don't let her ruin it. IF my mum did that to me. I'd swear at her, and scream and shout. I'd call my dad tell him to take my with him. Or my grandma or uncle or aunties :D

I'd also call the hosbital or a mental home, and say my mum needs help.

My mum has been ill in the past but allways loves me. :[

I hope you get help :[


Edited by ,Jess, (Forum Moderator): Posts merged, please do not multiple post, simply edit your first post also please do not be rude towards other members of the forum.

I got in trouble because of this thread!
I blame your mother, lol.

you've probably got it worse than me.. but this sounds very similar to the problems i've got atm, my mum claims to have "Agrophobia" (fear of leaving the home,) yet she can go to the park and take my nieces out when it suits her and depression just so she doesn't have to work, she's lazy I get home from school she's not even awake.. last night she told me to go to the kebab shop to get her some food I went no I cba so she chased me into my room and pushed me onto the bed, then I ran downstairs and into the garden she was embarassed the neighbors would be watching so call's me in and goes i'm not going to do anything so I went in and she screamed at me, pinned me down on the sofa and covered my mouth and nose.. she know's I haven't been very good lately and have had to go to meeting's with people.. she call's me a "******" and a "*******" when she know's how self concious I am about what people think of me.. the odd thing is she can go nuts over nothing and just put me down because she feels like it and at other times be nice as pie or after she's finished being horrible to me she feel's guilty but she's out of control and I can't take it when she randomly starts on me and fights me. :( so I feel for you and I hope things get better<3

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Originally Posted by iChaz

you've probably got it worse than me.. but this sounds very similar to the problems i've got atm, my mum claims to have "Agrophobia" (fear of leaving the home,) yet she can go to the park and take my nieces out when it suits her and depression just so she doesn't have to work, she's lazy I get home from school she's not even awake.. last night she told me to go to the kebab shop to get her some food I went no I cba so she chased me into my room and pushed me onto the bed, then I ran downstairs and into the garden she was embarassed the neighbors would be watching so call's me in and goes i'm not going to do anything so I went in and she screamed at me, pinned me down on the sofa and covered my mouth and nose.. she know's I haven't been very good lately and have had to go to meeting's with people.. she call's me a "******" and a "*******" when she know's how self concious I am about what people think of me.. the odd thing is she can go nuts over nothing and just put me down because she feels like it and at other times be nice as pie or after she's finished being horrible to me she feel's guilty but she's out of control and I can't take it when she randomly starts on me and fights me. :( so I feel for you and I hope things get better<3

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You seem to have it just as bad is undiscovered. Your mum shouldn't be allowed to cover your mouth and insult you like that. Call childline or tell a relative about how your feeling and what shes doing is wrong.

Hope this helps
Zoe x

I think you should go and live with your dad, she doesn't seem like a nice person at all.

I have had serious problems with my parents also, I know how hard it is. I hope it gets better - good luck!

you need to talk to someone before anything can get better :]

if it cant be any worse then surely it can get better :]

I know how you feel. You stuck in a situation which is hard to get out of and you don't want to go out of your way to help the situation becuase you might feel embarresed etc.

LOADS of teens are the same.

If I was in your situation, i'd have a chat with an online adviser on Connexions Direct.
It's confidential, they don't know who you are and vise versa and you can ask for help!

http://www2.cxdirect.com/visitor/EntryPage.htm

Even if your worried about accessing it, just click it and then click off straight away if you get worried. Then atleast you know what it's like.

Right this is what i do/think you should do.

By the sounds of it, you are working very hard. Is your mother dependant on you in any way? Like cooking and/or cleaning? If so go and stay at a friends for a week without telling her. That way she will be forced to do it herself and she will realise how much hard work it is and how stressfull it can be.

You could also go for a walk, completly by yourself and just evaluate things. Find yourself a favorate spot and just go there, it will be your place. You will feel alot better thinking about things in an area you are familiar with without having the pressure of your mother/friends. Pick a spot that is remote, but not so remote that it's dangerous, that way, if you do feel you are going to "break-down" it is semi-private. No one will be around to judge you for it. I personally walk 45mins to the beach and relax. I normally go at about 2am and get home at 6am.

Lastly, if you are uncomfortable with telling friends or teachers or whoever about what you are going through at home, then like already said, talk to someone online. That way the person you talk to is not going to ever meet you so you don't have the pressure of them judging you. I also personally find i am able to open up more online because there isnt the whole face-to-face interaction. I feel less intimidated. Things will go at your pace aswell, if things are moving to fast or you are getting really upset then you can simply turn your computer off, whereas face-to-face its much harder to suddenly change the subject or tell someone to forget about it.

Hope i have helped, even if i havent helped you i hope this helps someone.
-Shane.