It's time to give boys a break!
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Originally Posted by http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/47105/It-s-time-to-give-boys-a-break
Thursday June 5,2008
By Annemarie Flanagan Have your say(0)
IT'S TRUE – modern British society really is biased against boys.
The poor little souls don’t stand a chance and it’s not fair. According to a recent report, boys are five times more likely to be shouted at in class than girls, even though girls can be just as badly behaved.
Boys are also less likely to be praised or picked to answer a question, despite raising their hands as often as female counterparts.
Teachers assume boys are more troublesome because they tend to be noisier and more physical. The study concluded this prejudiced view could be the reason so many young boys have been underperforming at school. They get told off so much they begin to lose interest in learning.
But this bias doesn’t just happen in the classroom – it begins at birth. I had my second son a few months ago and was overwhelmed by the reactions I received. “Another boy. Oh well, at least you’ve got a girl already,” said one mum as she disappeared to coo over another pram containing a little bundle wrapped in pink.
When a toy was broken Emma's mum blamed Sam
“Boys are just so much more trouble,” sighed another, before telling me how she wished her lively seven-year-old would behave more like his sister. A grandma at the school gates even dared to suggest I must have been a bit disappointed not to have had another girl.
My friend Sarah has three lovely boys but that’s not good enough for some. “It’s almost as if you have failed as a mother if you don’t produce a little princess,” she says.
Girls are seen to be better than boys and this negativity towards the male of the species can be found everywhere – even when shopping for clothes. While in the baby department with four-month-old Ronan, I spotted two feeding bibs in the requisite pink and blue. One proclaimed in bold letters: “I’m a little monster.” The other simply said: “Mummy’s little angel.”
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No prizes for guessing which one was for the boys. Ronan is a cute, cuddly, adorable baby so why on earth was I about to label him a monster?
Searching the boys’ section for T-shirts for Leo, six, also proved something of an eye-opener. I was surrounded by slogans and pictures telling me that boys are noisy, naughty, little animals. Opening the local newspaper, a photograph of an unusual reception class intake of 30 boys and no girls at an otherwise mixed primary school was captioned: “A class full of trouble.”
This criticism isn’t a new development. The Victorian nursery rhyme: “What are little boys made of?” tells us in no uncertain terms: “Snips and snails and puppy dogs’ tails.” Girls, of course, are: “Sugar and spice and all things nice.”
Helen, mother to Sam, six, says parents without boys in their family often believe this constant bad press. “Once, when Sam was playing at his friend Emma’s house, a toy got broken. Emma’s mum immediately blamed Sam but it wasn’t his fault at all. It’s really not fair.”
It’s time this simplistic stereotyping stopped. So what if some little boys are louder and more physical than some girls? There is nothing wrong with energy and enthusiasm but many boys get these high spirits dampened at home and school.
As women we take responsibility as primary carer in the house but often fail to understand our little men. We criticise them for being boys and pressure them to conform.
Boys benefit hugely if there are positive male role models in their lives. We need more men working in childcare, particularly at primary schools where they are an endangered species.
Now it’s been shown that boys and girls learn differently, so a curriculum acknowledging this fact would give them more of an equal start. At home, we should try to enjoy our sons more and spread the word that having boys is a blessing not a curse. My two lads don’t come equipped with a volume control but neither does my daughter.
My boys have an abundance of energy, often tiring me out. But they are also highly sensitive, funny and loving.
Let’s replace all the tedious negative assumptions with positive PR. It’s high time we gave the boys a break.
Amen to that!
