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If you're in the UK, you might have heard of the BBC show, Mock the Week. In this show, there's a small section at the end called 'Scenes we'd like to see'. For this competition, all you have to do is come up with the funniest one line for each scenario below. Good luck!
Prize: 1 HC Sofa + 15 rep
1.
Things you'd never hear in a restaurant
2.
Bad things to say to a boy/girlfriend
3.
Unlikely lines to hear in a fantasy movie
Red = The line
1.
Things you'd never hear in a restaurant
Your eating peacefully and you then hear this kid shouting "MOM! DAD! I'M GAY! WORLD! I'M GAY!" and then you hear security taking him away.
2.
Bad things to say to a boy/girlfriend
"Darling, I'm just going to pop over to Nancy's for a quick one. Don't miss me too much. Use him instead of me."
3.
Unlikely lines to hear in a fantasy movie
"Prince Edward" "Susie" "Prince Edward" "Susie" "Prince Edward" "If were gonna be doing this the whole day i mainswell find myself some other girl to appreciate the title Prince, if you know what I mean."
1.
Things you'd never hear in a restaurant
This is a very bad restrant, where are all the gay people and why is there old fasioned wall paper and... "I AM A FAT, GAY PERSON AND I WANT TO EAT AN ELEPHANTS PORTION OF FOOD A DAY AND NOT AN ADULTS!!! THIS IS SO NOT GAY!!"
2.
Bad things to say to a boy/girlfriend
Can you get me a pack of condoms please, I am getting to big for my previous ones! Girl Friend: What on earth are you talking about, it doesn't grow that big in a day! Boyfriend: Well just shut up and leave me alone, i wanna have a girlfriend who doesn't argue like me!!
3.
Unlikely lines to hear in a fantasy movie
I want a word with you little... Watcha doing? Come here and give me a kiss, ey?
Things you'd never hear in a restaurant
FOOD FIGHT!
2.
Bad things to say to a boy/girlfriend
I'm Gay.
3.
Unlikely lines to hear in a fantasy movie
George, what are you doing with my willy?
Will
1.
Things you'd never hear in a restaurant
You're taking your order and you ask what is the special for the day, the waiter replys; "North Korean style hot-dog".
2.
Bad things to say to a boy/girlfriend
Babe, you remember that time when I asked you to be my Girlfriend, yeah, I don't..
3.
Unlikely lines to hear in a fantasy movie
Well why don't you just shove your wand up your own ginger ass, Ron!
1.
Things you'd never hear in a restaurant
LOL, I just wedgied the chef.
2.
Bad things to say to a boy/girlfriend
You're really ugly.
3.
Unlikely lines to hear in a fantasy movie
Blimey, these brooms have completely crushed my testicles.
1. Things you'd never hear in a restaurant
"How would you like your eggs? Fertilized?"
2. Bad things to say to a boy/girlfriend
"My ex is coming to stay with us tonight"
3. Unlikely lines to hear in a fantasy movie
"Don't worry Harry, I'll save you....
...Money on your car insurance :)"
1.
Things you'd never hear in a restaurant
"mmm the pubes really add flavour"
2.
Bad things to say to a boy/girlfriend
*slap her on the butt* "All aboard, chubby!"
3.
Unlikely lines to hear in a fantasy movie
"Herpies-Contracto"
Things you'd never hear in a Restaurant:
"Go Compare... Go Compare...''
Bad things to say to a Boy/Girlfriend:
"I can't wait till our Wedding, You'll be able to see my Wife..."
Unlikely lines to hear in a Fantasy Movie:
"Look, Stop looking up my Skirt, This is my Fantasy Movie, Not yours."
1.
Things you'd never hear in a restaurant
ONE TWO THREE FOUR A PINA COLADA IS WHAT I CAME HERE FOR.
2.
Bad things to say to a boy/girlfriend
i'll have a coke. but i think YOU should have a diet coke.
3.
Unlikely lines to hear in a fantasy movie
lets go right. the stage exits left
1.
Things you'd never hear in a restaurant
'CHEF, MAKE SURE YOU TAKE THE MOULD OFF THE BREAD THIS TIME'
2.
Bad things to say to a boy/girlfriend
*WATCHING 'ROAR' ON TV* LOOK HONEY, THAT ELEPHANT IS ALMOST AS BIG AS YOU!
3.
Unlikely lines to hear in a fantasy movie
'IS IT A BIRD? IS IT A PLANE? NO IT'S AN ADVERT FOR DENTAL FLOSS'
1.
Things you'd never hear in a restaurant
SOMEONE CATCH THAT SHEEP
2.
Bad things to say to a boy/girlfriend
Dont worry i told Roal you were a policeman
3.
Unlikely lines to hear in a fantasy movie?
Harry looked at his penis and made one last spell "Extendo!"
1.
Things you'd never hear in a restaurant
"What's that on my chicken?" "Oh, don't worry, it's just my ***..."
2.
Bad things to say to a boy/girlfriend
You're fat and you're ugly... but I still love you...
3.
Unlikely lines to hear in a fantasy movie
"Houston we have a problem!" "What is it?!" "I'm paying too much for my car insurance!" "Go Compare!!!"
1.
Things you'd never hear in a restaurant:
Oi you yeah you the chef, go in the gents toilets you might find your mom!
2.
Bad things to say to a boy/girlfriend:
Have you looked in the mirror lately? 'cos id change alot about your face
3.
Unlikely lines to hear in a fantasy movie
Come in the toilets and do so maths...
Add a bed
subtract our clothes
Divide your legs
And Timez like crazy!
1: Things you'd never hear in a restaurant:
"Quick catch that dog! It's going to be the main course! Oh... good evening patrons...
2: Bad things to say to a boy/girlfriend
You know this was a bet right?
3: Unlikely lines to hear in a fantasy movie
Your going to save me? Can it wait after I've watched Eastenders?
1.
Things you'd never hear in a restaurant"You know, I think the cockroach really adds flavor, don't you?"
2.
Bad things to say to a boy/girlfriend"You're almost as good as my ex!"
3.
Unlikely lines to hear in a fantasy movie
"We may die here, but that's okay. Because I now know that I am NOT lactose intolerant"