Have I totally messed up with a friend?
Well, 4 years ago we were together, boyfriend & girlfriend. I finished her after 4 months, then about 5 months ago we got back together and she finishd me after a day, told me show loved me the night after she finished me but wouldnt get back with me, :/, then got with somebody else the next day.
We werent speaking for about 2 months after this, but I started speaking to her and we got quite close as friend. But then we started arguing, very constantly, such as every 2 days or so. After ever argument we sorted it out, but the same kept happening. Then the arguments stopped for maybe 3 weeks or so, but then 2 weeks ago, we hade the biggest argument we had, insulting eachother with harsh insults, names, etc... (this argument was because i said something about her behind her back) but once again sorted out (she asked me about 10 times to be mates again, said she didnt care if I said stuff behind her back, she would put up with anything to be mates with me). Then exactly a week later exactly the same thing happened, and we said we could give it one last try.
I started most of the arguments I admit, because I get really paranoid at the smallest things, and kept having a go at her because she kept putting one words when we talked across msn, text eachother etc, and then I started saying she didnt want to be mates with me, told her to tell me instead of pretending she did. Iv told her I get paranoid about the one words etc...
Anyway, the argument that happened a week later, I said she didnt want to me by mate and she said something along the lines 'i really do want to be mates with you, i really like talking to you and seeing you at school, and everyday we talk and text it gives a good end to the day'... and thats when we said one last try.
Anyway, Wednesday night the same thing happened. The one words, me getting paranoid, me saying she doesnt wanna be mates and stuff like that, and then she said 'im gonna stop speaking to you, is obviously what you want, bye you pathetic paranoid ****' then blocked me from MSN, Deleted & blocked me off facebook and blocked my number. Then the next day at school, she just looked at me and shook her head, then I found out from a friend of hers that she thought i was looking at her and trying to get a reaction. The only contact I have is through one of my other mates.
I want nothing more than to be her mate, but I havnt spoke to her since wednesday night... is there anyway I can stop being so paranoid :S? I get paranoid at the smallest things... and have I really messed things up with her for good?
