Can relationships be considered 'real' if they are purely on the internet?
Do you think that they are right or wrong? Based on this, do you have any good/bad examples of internet relationships that you can use to explain your opinions?
Printable View
Can relationships be considered 'real' if they are purely on the internet?
Do you think that they are right or wrong? Based on this, do you have any good/bad examples of internet relationships that you can use to explain your opinions?
I've not got mega views on this, most people 'online' are so much nicer and cuter e.t.c. then people 'offline'. If the person in the 'cyber-relationship' is happy, I suppose it's their choice.
I would say sometimes it could work out, but I think this is rare. I believe most internet relationships won't work out purely because they aren't near each other. That's not to say it can't work out though. It's definitely possible.
Iv never had a internet relationship, but I cant see how they would work??
YES.
There's no such thing as e-dating. You meet someone on the net, yeah, so do THOUSANDS of people each year, that;s what you EXPECT from the digital age.
Sometimes it doesn't work - usually because one (or both) parties are different irl to what they are on the net, or can't see it as a serious relationship. But as you get older, it can work.
It's like asking if people on the net are your friends. If you put the effort in it works.
Don't see anything wrong with them,
If you just wanna have a laugh with someone without it being too serious, internet dating is a good way for that but if you want a serious relationship out of it, I don't think over the internet is the best place for that.
Weird thing is, I really don't agree with relationships just based on the internet, I think it's pointless and silly.. If you really liked someone that much on the internet you'd try aim towards meeting them and getting to know how they are in person. You can't really be sure on who they really are until you're both face to face and spend quality time on the internet. Although, yeah I know it's not always possible to be with the person in real life. I think they can work if it's not just a relationship on the internet and actually see eachother a few times a month then yeah.
Even though I'm probably so contradicting myself with this since I live with someone I met off here, but we weren't together until we met, and then continued to meet up every second week and (so far!) it's working out really well and I can honestly say no one I've met from where I live has made me this happy. So yeah, they work with effort and if they don't just stay on the internet.
Depends on what you mean. Purely internet based relationships rarely work, there needs to be the one moment where you meet the other person to experience who the other person is. In other words, chatting on Skype, MSN, Facebook is all well and good, but there needs to be some sort of physical experience, rather than one that is virtual. Long distant ones, where a physical relationship has been involved can work if both people are committed to the relationship. Afterall, the world is a smaller place now so it's not hard to visit each other once in a while.
I am assuming that "relationship" means communication with someone for more than just friendship. If you mean the general term then yes, internet friendships work - I've made a few friends over the years with people I've met on here and other places.
In my opinion, you should only go down that road if you live in the same country. If you're on different sides of the world, you'd have to face the reality that you'll most likely never see each other.
I would never have a purely online relationship myself, but for some people it makes them happy, so to each his own in that way. The only way I would have one is if I met the person in real life and liked them a lot then one of us moved away or something, so it would be more like continuing the relationship the only way possible rather than having a 100% online relationship. That's just me though.
Agreeing with marvin - if you make it a more real relationship - seeing each other regularly, sometimes you'll end up seeing them more than people you ACTUALLY know (I know that's the case with me lol).
Also, I personally am not allowed out much, so I don't have much opportunity to meet guys irl, and they're always the kind that I'm not interested in a relationship with - usually so physical (another thing - you can move the relationship more slowly if you're not seeing each other constantly). On the internet, it's possible to meet a whole new range of people!
No they can't, often people on the internet tend to be more shy/less brash also in real life as opposed to online.
You can't say that's true for everyone - how can you know. Sometimes being able to come out of your shell more online is a good thing - lets people see th real you instead of the shy exterior most people have.Quote:
Originally Posted by -:Undertaker:-
Yes they can work. Like all relationships, they need love, honesty and a trust between each other. All 3 of which are ten times harder to find online because it's easier to lie. People can choose what they want to divulge whether it's true, a version of the truth or complete ********. Despite that, don't think it's impossible to find someone online. The world's a big place, bound to be someone out there who's genuine and right for you.
First, good topic! Second, in proportion.
What do i mean by this? Whilst being in an online relationship that remains online, it should not affect or be brought into your life in the real world. Whilst online it's good to create an avatar - like another version of you. Say for instance if you were to get into a fight or dispute with the other person in the relationship and it started taking a toll on you in the real world, that's when you realize its an online relationship, and it only ever will be. Where as if in the relationship everything is going well, and your happy as hell (lol), Then go with it, have a positive energy and enjoy the ride.
It's good to have someone to talk to. But keep it in moderation and don't become to dependant on the relationship. Theres only so much comfort someone can give online.
BOOM
Internet relationships = long distance = stupid = pointless..
However, if you're social networking and you find someone on the internet, and you meet up and take things from there, then it's okay.
Long story short; No.
Edited by Catzsy (Forum Super Moderator): Posts like this are not allowed in the debates forum. Please see:
http://www.habboxforum.com/showthread.php?t=617161
i had a 3 year relationship with someone i met on here and it was awesome, i saw him every 4 weeks and then i moved to kent to go to university to be with him. sadly we both changed and ultimately it didn't work out BUT the initial part and the long distance part was so so good. we were so in love, and the distance kept the love strong because every moment i spent with him was special. i'm sure he can add more to this if he wants (hi sam!) but i have nothing but good memories for the internet relationship part.
i think if you want it to work, and yr mature enough and have the capacity (you need to be of a certain age to be travelling the country by yrself, i was 18 and sam was 17. we both had money from college coming in and we had supportive parents) to make it work: then it will. i don't believe in like transatlantic online relationships though because i believe yr kidding yrself. i know it sounds quite hypocritical, but it's a long way to come if it's not going to work and it's not worth the heartache i feel. and i think people who rely on the internet to find love should probably/won't find love either. i've only ever had one partner i met online, and i think that one is enough. people i saw prior and people i've met since have all been friends i know from work/uni/via friends. it is dangerous.
you have to be strong though, it hurts saying goodbye to someone for a month or so and it doesn't really ever get easier.
edit: i also don't get this different person offline/online thing. i'm exactly the same person i am online and offline, and if yr not i find that really odd. don't be scared to be yrself just because yr face to face with people ;l but i think that's probably a whole different story.
I don't think that they work unless they regularly meet up and live in the same country, if its just 100% online then that's pointless.
The thing is shyness I think. Like if someone spoke to me, I talk loads and loads and loads online but if they met me irl they'd probably hate me because I'm pretty shy. But some people who aren't shy irl could come online and talk how they normally do and be the same irl. You just don't know do yaQuote:
Originally Posted by bethie
It makes everything less personal, like before, you would've had to have gone out and met people face to face, gain confidence, socialize properly whereas now, you can meet people on facebook which makes everything less intimate.
i guess i don't understand it because i've never had issues with confidence/shyness, and i think it does come down to that. i do find it a bit false though, and that's why internet dating is dodgy. because someone (without even meaning to) could be projecting a false image of themself, and imagining driving like 300 miles to meet up with someone you think you "love" and just not even liking them at all ha. cringe.Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephen!
Yeah if it's between some young adolescents. In older people I think it's a bit strange and of course it can never replace real life relationships, just like socialising online isn't comparable to socialising in real life. All in all I don't disagree with them but I think children should be encouraged to have real life relationships with people their own age as it provides them with proper practise and social skills they'll need for adult ones.
I could talk and talk and talk about this but I'm going to make it short. Internet relationships usually don't work. It depends on how much effort you put in it and how real is the relationship. Teenagers or young adults often find themselves falling in love with the people on the internet because internet creates a sense of virtual reality. Everything looks so real to you but it's not. For example, the other side might say that he loves you but the feelings can change once he meets up with you. In my life, I don't believe in relationships love (husband and wife) but I believe in feelings. It's the feeling that made you feel like you're in love.
Long distance relationships usually won't work out. Even if you put in effort like seeing them once or twice per month, you will still be fed up of trying to work the relationships out when it's so obvious that it won't work out. However, moving and trying to live with the other side will need a lot of effort and in the end, do you think it is worth it? No, it's not worth it. I'm saying this based on my experience with a guy I met online.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordan:A
I cannot be bothered to read all the posts here but I think everybody is missing this point. About the 'how real is the relationship', I doubt everyone will believe me but the relationship could be a scam or something similar to that. Humans can do stupid things in order to get what they want, right?
*REMOVED*
They are the stupidest thing known to man. Anyone who does this, obviously is someone who is very insecure about them self, and can not go talk to a man or woman.
I personally do not think that they would last, and I think half the reason is, is because half the time one of the two is a child molester and they rape then murder the child.
That's a bit harsh :SQuote:
Originally Posted by Felix-x
What about the thousands of people every year who meet on dating websites? If, and only if, one of the parties lies about age/looks/whatever, then yeah, it was a bad idea, but people think this happens SO MUCH MORE than it actually does. I'm not denying it happens, but it's difficult to keep up a lie in this digital age - with webcams, microphones, social networking sites etc. If you never hear or see anything but what the person tells you - then of course you have to doubt their trust, but most of the time you can tell.
They can work.
You sir, always were a douche and still are by the looks of things.Quote:
Originally Posted by Felix-x
I will echo the things said by many in this thread, notably Kelly, bethie & Laura - there's no such thing as an internet relationship, there is however such thing as dating someone you met online, however you have to meet them before anything can happen otherwise it's mere fantasy.
1) Can relationships be considered 'real' if they are purely on the internet?
Although I haven't had any experiences on online dating or having an intimate relationship online, I don't know if I'm supposed to say this, but since I'm a simple thinker who likes positivity, I think that it is possible to have this 'real' relationship through the internet, just depends on the individuals situation on how willing they are to devote to each other and keep the relationship going to make it internet-'real' in to real life. (Sorry if it doesn't make any sense :/)
2) Do you think that they are right or wrong?
I can't say that they are both 100% right or wrong because there are both cases where the relationship actually works or where people mistake each other and end up being in a bad situation.
But I guess I'd like to think that they are right:D
3) Based on this, do you have any good/bad examples of internet relationships that you can use to explain your opinions?
Sorry, I have no experience, so I can't say much.
I guess what i said was a bit harsh, though I ment like a habbo relation ship. Sure, people meet on dating sites and get somewhere. Though virtual things are plain stupid.
Thanks oli.
don't lie, the first time we met you were well shy haha.Quote:
Originally Posted by bethie
habbo dating rooms etc, OBVIOUSLY they're not real relationships... intrigued to see your thoughts on proper internet relationships then...Quote:
Originally Posted by Felix-x
I think what Felix posted was a bit DRAMATIC. It can be real but it sounds dramatic. They of course cannot lie about their physical appearances (age and looks) but they can lie about their feelings. Saying 'I love you' when they are not really in love with the other side.Quote:
Originally Posted by lawrawrrr
that's true of any relationship though - not just internet specific... OK it's easier to hide or keep secrets on the internet, but if you seriously feel that way then I don't see why you'd lie. I know from experience that it's difficult to trust someone on the net if that say they love you - and the only way to prove it really is to see irl. Which is why I do agree that relationships PURELY on the internet have a very low success rate.Quote:
Originally Posted by GirlNextDoor15
If the relationship is purely just on the internet, then no, I don't think it really has any chance of working whatsoever. There needs to be physical contact for a relationship to work properly. However, if the two people involved meet up in real life, then yes there is more of a chance that the relationship will work but there are still a lot of things that can interfere with this. As someone said already, people aren't always the same online as they are offline, they could be lying about age, looks etc, they could have a completely different personality - namely the whole confidence/shyness factor. I'm with someone I met online now and we've been together for 8 months tomorrow. Both of us are relatively shy people, but because we developed such a strong bond online before we met eachother, this didn't really show through, after about the first 5 minutes of awkwardness and realising you were actually with them, it felt like we'd known eachother forever.
Meeting someone online and having a relationship in real life can work, and has worked. My mum met her new partner on a dating site (lol), and I met my girlfriend on this forum (more lol), but my mum has been with him for over 5 years and they're engaged, and I've been with my girlfriend for almost 8 months, so that kind of proves that it can be successful. I know there are examples of it not being successful, no offence to him, but Pyroka is a prime example with his list of online ex's. Maybe meeting someone who lives near you, say within an hour, is a better idea than a completely long distance relationship, but if you both really, really like each other and are both dedicated to making the relationship work, then yes that can also work. I lived in England, my girlfriend in Ireland, and I know they aren't exactly the furthest away from each other, but it's more long distance than being within the same country. We made sure we wanted to meet up, after talking for over year before doing so, and when we did we both felt it was right, and after 3 days we were in a relationship, kinda soon I know but we knew basically everything about eachother already, and if we didn't, we do now. Along with the effort in a long distance thing, it takes money too.. something you wouldn't necessarily have to pay out in a 'local' relationship, but again if you feel it's worth it, then you make that commitment. For me, it was about £100 for a trip from Tuesday to Sunday, which included flights, buses and money to spend. Then there was times I'd get the ferry over, stay longer which would cost more. Having supportive parents in it also helps, both mine and hers supported us both, giving us money, lifts to places etc, made things slightly easier. Judge this how you want, but after 5 months together, I moved to Ireland to be with her constantly and I couldn't have made a better decision. Well ok, maybe I could've found a job before I moved but that's the only thing. I've been living in Ireland for 3 months now, 2 of which we've been living in our own apartment and her parents are doing as much as they can to help us financially, they pay the 400 rent a month until I get a job, give us money randomly, her stepdad has changed the address on some kind of benefit thing so we get money from that every week, he's going to give me a job with 200 euro a week.
I know I've kind of gone off topic and gone into a story about myself, but everything that I've said builds up to making a relationship and how many different factors there are in a long distance relationship over a local one, and it shows that there is a lot there, along with all the stuff I didn't mention, trust, jealousy and things like that also come into it. And I'll leave it there because this is already a million word essay.
says you?!?!?!!?!? shut up! ha.Quote:
Originally Posted by samsaBEAR
If it tickles your pickle go for it, don't let people tell you whats right or wrong.
I edated before and in fairness I'm not sure what other people do on the internet but it was just like we were close friends. My only concern with people edating is safety, obviously anyone could put a picture on the internet that isn't them and say it is. I wouldn't recommend it as it's a little pointless and I think people get caught up in the whole thing and start to feel like they need to come on the internet, just like in real life you need to see your girlfriend you can't go a week without speaking to her for no reason and although it's completely different people get lost.
this is why "e-dating" doesn't really work, meeting someone on the internet and then subsequently meeting them can work however. if yr just "dating" someone online, yr not really dating them. being with someone is 50/50 physical/emotional. if yr just getting the emotional side, you may aswell just have a good friend.Quote:
Originally Posted by Richie
and when i say physical, i don't outright mean sex. i'm talking about physically BEING with someone. like learning their little quirks, the way they stand, the way they talk etc, holding hands, being able to hold a physical conversation with that person.
Exactly. Very well said and that is why Internet relationships won't work.Quote:
Originally Posted by Richie
---------- Post added 20-07-2011 at 08:18 PM ----------
Ok. I think I won't agree with you on this. E-dating won't work. If they met each other, it depends on how they really want the relationship to work. It's not that meeting each other will guarantee a good relationship.Quote:
Originally Posted by bethie
In general, a relationship is subdivided into three parts, mainly chemistry, physics and emotions.
1. Chemistry is how they feel about each other when they meet each other. For example, a girl might say that the boy isn't as handsome as he was on the Internet. Then, she might straight away say NO in her heart. So, that means it's not a relationship, more towards a 'one-night-stand' thing.
2. Physics is like you said. How they go along and how well it is. But, I'm going to add some to this. Behaviour is a very important part too. What if the boy is very short-tempered and the girl just can't stand it?
3. Emotions is like what you said too.
Jumps in da convo xox
I think the title for this question is a little complicated, because dating purely through the internet CAN be done, but isn't great, very VERY few relationships will last without the physical aspect. Meeting someone in the internet and then meeting them irl is a lot different. I know this might not affect all of you, but how many times have you added someone on facebook that you've got to know through a friend and then met them for the first time irl. Does that not count as meeting on the internet? Although, it must be said. I would never want to meet someone irl that I haven't at least spoken to often, seen on cam and heard on Skype/phone. Safety is important! But relationships formed using the internet can work. trust me ;D
Just reiterating what Pasta said really.
Ofc it's nice to have people to talk to on the internet, but when people become obsessive over it and consider it a genuine relationship - this is slightly peculiar.
Not on a shallow basis of there being no physical benefits, but up until the point of meeting someone you may have no real conception as to who they are as a person.
Simple examples of this would be - it is easier to exaggerate the truth online and make you appear more confident and interesting. Also, irl you can't really just be like brb? it'd make a situation so awkward.