do you think i'm being too available?

does anyone here give good advice anymore
ok this is so immature but whatever



i met a guy through a friend early last year, we saw each other maybe twice that year & he added me on msn and facebook. i wasn't really interested at all and rarely replied to his messages. he spoke to me for the first time this year on chat 3 saturday's ago and told me to text him if i wanted to meet up. still wasn't bothered till i got drunk and decided to text him with a mate's phone and met up with him. we got on really well so i sent my number through facebook on mail on the thursday. he didn't reply so i text him that saturday asking if he wanted to meet up but he said he was staying at home. then he text me later that night and me being an idiot replied but he didn't after that. then this friday i was hungover, had 2 hours sleep and was in bed but he asked me to come out. i said no cause of those reasons but he practically begged (ok didn't take much to give in) so i went. it was alright, pretty awkward cause i was sober and his friend was there. then on saturday, the day after, he asked if i wanted to see him and i said yes but we mostly only argued. we did talk a little yesterday but i think i'm telling too much too soon and being too available. he's already blew me off to stay at home and not replied to my texts yet i always have + decided not to see my mate's just to go see him..... ino i sound so needy :/



anyway is the hard-to-get challenge thingy a myth or what ;[ i notice with some guys if i make it obvious straight away they have no chance, they'll stop but if i act interested then stop they'll try to win me over more (which is annoying if i actually don't like them!) i was thinking this week i won't text him and if he asks me to go out i'm going to say no cause i'm with friends but i don't want to IGNORE him if he does text? plus i have him on msn and facebook, as do my mates, so we can always chat but i don't want to look too available or uninterested ;_;

I don’t mean to sound harsh, but from what you’ve already said, he seems to want a friendship/relationship when it suits him. He obviously likes you, just how much is difficult to tell, could he be shy? Bit odd him begging you to come out, only for you to arrive and his mate is there. The next time he makes contact, why don’t you reply with a where are you taking me, and then you will have a better idea of just how keen he really is? If he likes you enough, he will make the effort and you won’t feel so needy. Hopefully you will feel wanted :)

i think you should just leave it for a bit. and then maybe text him in a few days but don't ask to meet up just talk maybe? sounds like he's up for it when he's not busy so just leave him to get over himself ;) then come back to him when hes realised what he's missing xx

i tend to prefer girls who are harder to get
ones who leave like subtle hints are the better ones than ones who just put it on a plate

HEY JEN. Havent talked to you in forever and stuff.

Anyway, you aren't being too needy at all lol. Perhaps a little bit with ditching your friend to go see him, but that's not totally abnormal if you really like the guy (and you're quite busy people so that would be the only chance). I think he's obviously interested in you, but he probably blew you off to stay at home because he really just couldnt be bothered. Not everyone is super excited to go out at the first opportunity, and he was probably havin a nice day just chillin at home. As for the text thing, he either couldnt think of a reply or was busy whilst he read it, and just forgot to reply when he was free.

One thing i did notice is that you said you might be telling him too much too soon. Some guys (like me :P) don't really care how quickly someone opens up to them, but others can get really turned off by it. What kind of things were you tellin him?

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Originally Posted by MissAlice

I don’t mean to sound harsh, but from what you’ve already said, he seems to want a friendship/relationship when it suits him. He obviously likes you, just how much is difficult to tell, could he be shy? Bit odd him begging you to come out, only for you to arrive and his mate is there. The next time he makes contact, why don’t you reply with a where are you taking me, and then you will have a better idea of just how keen he really is? If he likes you enough, he will make the effort and you won’t feel so needy. Hopefully you will feel wanted :)

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well that could be true but that's guys for you ;) i'm not so sure about shy, we usually go about his car so i guess that acts as a barrier for him if he was. he seems quite comfortable to talk to me but rarely about relationships/girls (other than his best mate...who happens to be a girl...who he's had a thing with...). i dunno if that's good or bad but we have no reason to talk about that. that day his mate was there because we saw him in town and he needed a lift but ended up staying until i went. he does make effort with me, he's the one that asks to meet up and will easy come for me. i made the first move though, the first time we met up (lol) but haven't done anything since and he still asks to see me so dunno maybe he's shy. he always says "it's up to you" about everything...
on this saturday he did say he might come out but he was in bed then asked if i wanted to see him so when i said yes he came over for me. BUT during that time he said he had to pick up his 'best mate' that i spoke about earlier from where i live so maybe he was always going be coming and decided he'd ask me for company until then lol i'm either paranoid and overthinkin or just too good for his games i dunno.

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Originally Posted by Publicised

i think you should just leave it for a bit. and then maybe text him in a few days but don't ask to meet up just talk maybe? sounds like he's up for it when he's not busy so just leave him to get over himself ;) then come back to him when hes realised what he's missing xx

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i'm not gonna bother texting/msn'ing/fbooking him. & if he asks this week i'll say no cause i'm drinking and i'm sick of meeting him when i'm drunk lol. indeed i will but it might be too late ;l

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Originally Posted by T@R

i tend to prefer girls who are harder to get
ones who leave like subtle hints are the better ones than ones who just put it on a plate

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woops think i already ruined that one!!

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Originally Posted by Nemo

HEY JEN. Havent talked to you in forever and stuff.

Anyway, you aren't being too needy at all lol. Perhaps a little bit with ditching your friend to go see him, but that's not totally abnormal if you really like the guy (and you're quite busy people so that would be the only chance). I think he's obviously interested in you, but he probably blew you off to stay at home because he really just couldnt be bothered. Not everyone is super excited to go out at the first opportunity, and he was probably havin a nice day just chillin at home. As for the text thing, he either couldnt think of a reply or was busy whilst he read it, and just forgot to reply when he was free.

One thing i did notice is that you said you might be telling him too much too soon. Some guys (like me :P) don't really care how quickly someone opens up to them, but others can get really turned off by it. What kind of things were you tellin him?

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erm it's not as though we go in to deep details about our life but sorta hint on some stuff i can't really say hahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahah some dark stuff maybe. also help me with this;

he says that i'm easy to read and when he likes someone, talking friendship here, he doesn't change his opinion so i should relax (which i never do cause i can't accept that anyone likes me hence all the paranoia). + he says he likes straightforward simple people but i'm the COMPLETE opposite of that. he also says i confuse him and that he doesn't get me but when i ask what he doesn't get he doesn't explain what it is. he says that if i could read him i'd realize he's very straightforward which he's totally not. i think he probably means he's straightforward IF i ask a straightforward question but idk

i think this forum has heard about all my luvers/bfs lllol i fail

You sound so needy imo. Maybe he wanted something normal like him and his friends but you keep on meeting him when you are drunk. Maybe he doesn't like that. Maybe he is annoyed. Anyway, you're the character in the situation. I can't say much but from what I heard from you, yes, you are too available.

you do sound kinda needy / paranoid from reading that, i think you should just let things cool off and let him make the moves and chase you, that way you'll know if he really likes you or not. maybe try not to wear your heart on your sleeve and hold back a little

uhm i think he's just basically speaking to you when it suits him so i think you should leave him for a bit cos its like he's stringing u along :(

Why do you argue?

I'd do as you planned. If he wants to meet you, say you can't as you're at/with your friend and let him down, but apologise so he doesn't think you're not interested then when he next asks you say yes, but give him the times on your terms.

Tut at me not sticking up for the boys! ;)

Meh I don't think it should turn into a game of if he tickles my pickle I'll tickle his, in other words, if he lets you down don't just go out of your way to let him down. I reckon you should hang out with him a bit more and if it becomes more of a regular thing (him letting you down) than you should chop that fool out of ya life.

I've been around the block abit, so if i was you.
Move on he sounds like a total *****, he wants to see you when he wants, shouldnt work like that tbh.
You cant want to see someone one moment, days later they cba to see you thats just ****** up, would make you think like hes doing it with others, and remember guys do that, ive done it to 4 girls at one time before. So my advice to you, just forget him move on.