What the hell do i do here...

I want to apologise to everyone reading this in advance, but I find it's the only place where I can express all of my thoughts and feelings and possibly get some answers and opinions too.

There is a girl I have been seeing for a while now. When we're together, it's amazing; we get on like a house on fire, have a laugh, and genuinely like each other (well I'd certainly hope she does...)

However in the past she has screwed me around. She's lied to me, lead me on into a false sense of security in a way that made me think we were going to be a proper "couple", and it didn't happen. She's been with other guys and did stupid things whilst drunk in what I can only describe as a roller coaster ride of good and bad points in the relationship I've had with her.

However, two of my best friends have also noticed her behaviour, and whilst it pains me to hear them speak of their observations in her behaviour, it's all true. They can't stand her, and it's all because they are concerned for me.

But I can't help it. I am hopelessly in love with her and I don't know what else to do. I love my two best friends but I just can't let her go; when she isn't being a pillock, she is amazing and I have genuinely never had feelings like this for someone since my ex girlfriend, who I haven't been with for over a year.

Sorry again for the large "bawww" post, pouring my heart out over something like this is never something I would normally do but I felt this was the only place to do it :( any suggestions would be much appreciated!

This is when it pays to be selfish, you obviously want to be with her so be with her! But try setting some ground rules or make the move and turn the relationship into a serious one. If she isn't willing to give her the same respect you give her, move on because i'm surethere'ssome girl who would love for someone to treat her with the respect you have given her.

Get rid of her as soon as possible before you fall for her

Try to move on and find another girl. I know it's quite hard but eventually, you'll have to do that. Find another girl that treats you well.

I wish you nothing but the best ;) Good luck.

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Originally Posted by danzooo

I want to apologise to everyone reading this in advance, but I find it's the only place where I can express all of my thoughts and feelings and possibly get some answers and opinions too.

There is a girl I have been seeing for a while now. When we're together, it's amazing; we get on like a house on fire, have a laugh, and genuinely like each other (well I'd certainly hope she does...)

However in the past she has screwed me around. She's lied to me, lead me on into a false sense of security in a way that made me think we were going to be a proper "couple", and it didn't happen. She's been with other guys and did stupid things whilst drunk in what I can only describe as a roller coaster ride of good and bad points in the relationship I've had with her.

However, two of my best friends have also noticed her behaviour, and whilst it pains me to hear them speak of their observations in her behaviour, it's all true. They can't stand her, and it's all because they are concerned for me.

But I can't help it. I am hopelessly in love with her and I don't know what else to do. I love my two best friends but I just can't let her go; when she isn't being a pillock, she is amazing and I have genuinely never had feelings like this for someone since my ex girlfriend, who I haven't been with for over a year.

Sorry again for the large "bawww" post, pouring my heart out over something like this is never something I would normally do but I felt this was the only place to do it :( any suggestions would be much appreciated!

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when she isn't being a pillock seems to be the key words here. If you can put up with this carry on. I do not feel your two best friends would say anything if they did not feel in your own best interests. Only you can decide this - if you are wanting a stable monogamous relationship she doesn't sound like the ideal candidate to me. I know what a heck of a time you had before but you got over it! It is only a short time before Xmas so could be not a good time to tackle the problem. See what the New year brings and then put your foot down, maybe?

if you REALLY want her you need to talk to her and say listen, legit, this needs to go somewhere this time or i'm out of here. and stick to yr word. i find friends opinions can be extremely harmful at times, and at the end of the day it's yr heart and yr life.

if it's worth fighting for, fight for it.

If you're happy and don't care about her "doing stupid things" then continue what you're doing.
But, if you're unhappy and want her to stop ask her to stop. :)

but if you did get together do you think you could trust her to not sleep around as she has lied to you in the past and has that sort of reputation

idk it's down to if you think you will have a good relationship and if it's worth fighting for


also are you sure she likes you, and isn't just treating you the way she treats everyone else

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Originally Posted by danzooo

I want to apologise to everyone reading this in advance, but I find it's the only place where I can express all of my thoughts and feelings and possibly get some answers and opinions too.

There is a girl I have been seeing for a while now. When we're together, it's amazing; we get on like a house on fire, have a laugh, and genuinely like each other (well I'd certainly hope she does...)

However in the past she has screwed me around. She's lied to me, lead me on into a false sense of security in a way that made me think we were going to be a proper "couple", and it didn't happen. She's been with other guys and did stupid things whilst drunk in what I can only describe as a roller coaster ride of good and bad points in the relationship I've had with her.

However, two of my best friends have also noticed her behaviour, and whilst it pains me to hear them speak of their observations in her behaviour, it's all true. They can't stand her, and it's all because they are concerned for me.

But I can't help it. I am hopelessly in love with her and I don't know what else to do. I love my two best friends but I just can't let her go; when she isn't being a pillock, she is amazing and I have genuinely never had feelings like this for someone since my ex girlfriend, who I haven't been with for over a year.

Sorry again for the large "bawww" post, pouring my heart out over something like this is never something I would normally do but I felt this was the only place to do it :( any suggestions would be much appreciated!

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You sound like one of my best mates, we all hate the girl he's with, she isn't good for him at all and we all can see that the relationships only going to lead to him getting hurt. I'd advise you to try your best and move on as the fact that you're posting this thread shows that you have doubts, which are there for a reason. Obviously it's never going to be easy getting over someone but the sooner you do it, the better, as the longer you leave it, the more attached you'll become making it a whole lot worse when she does do something which hurts you.

As everyone has said, if your best friends don't like her there is something wrong, move on before you lose everyone.

Thanks very much everyone for all the replies, you've all been great!

I got an absolute bollocking off my pal the other night for seeing her the night before, and whilst it bothered me to hear all the hurtful things he said about her, what he was saying made sense, and I had to agree with him (although not out loud!)

I've decided what I'm going to do is just carry on the way I'm going and see how it turns out. My two best friends don't like her but tbf, they don't need to speak to her/be with her at any time and I'm never going to bump them off for her anyway; one of my best friends is with her new boyfriend an awful lot and the other one I see at work all the time anyway aswell as when we're out at night etc.

I do like her a lot but I'm going to tread very carefully, and not let anything she does bother me because after all - there's no exclusivity rights as of yet. She has admitted to me that she does regret anything she's done in the past to hurt me and said she'd be jealous/upset if I did any of that stuff to her.

We'll see how things unfold from here...

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Originally Posted by danzooo

Thanks very much everyone for all the replies, you've all been great!

I got an absolute bollocking off my pal the other night for seeing her the night before, and whilst it bothered me to hear all the hurtful things he said about her, what he was saying made sense, and I had to agree with him (although not out loud!)

I've decided what I'm going to do is just carry on the way I'm going and see how it turns out. My two best friends don't like her but tbf, they don't need to speak to her/be with her at any time and I'm never going to bump them off for her anyway; one of my best friends is with her new boyfriend an awful lot and the other one I see at work all the time anyway aswell as when we're out at night etc.

I do like her a lot but I'm going to tread very carefully, and not let anything she does bother me because after all - there's no exclusivity rights as of yet. She has admitted to me that she does regret anything she's done in the past to hurt me and said she'd be jealous/upset if I did any of that stuff to her.

We'll see how things unfold from here...

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Very best of luck with this and I hope all goes well. You seem to have realistic expectations of how the relationship could go. :)