Ellen DeGeneres Remembers Donna Summer
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Ellen DeGeneres is actually terrible based on the image she gives out. I have always found her grating but this just takes it all to case. Out of all the celebrity tweets about Donna Summer's passing, Ellen's was the most crass. She noted that because she died, "I even used one of her songs in my show that airs today." She didn't just do it, she 'even' did it. You know, like she is going out of her way.
Ellen features at least one song per episode on her talk show. Every show. She has filmed over 1 500 episodes which all feature this minimum of one track. Some feature two and some even feature three from my experience watching her parade of fake smiles. Of course, the songs are never in full unless it is a musical guest performance which is quite rare for the program. Anyways, it's fair to say she has had at least 2 000 unique songs on her show over it's span of eleven seasons.
Thank you, Ellen, for your generousity. You are so kind to bequeath the honour of playing a thirty second clip of a genre-topping legend's song during the dancing opening segment of your daytime chatterfest. I am sure no one can do a greater honour to Ms. Summer than to play her music while the camera pans over the middle aged audience looking for the 'funniest' dancers to feature in slow motion replay.
Seriously, Ellen is just beyond any kindness in her tribute! There have been about five hundred different Billboard number one songs within America in the past thirty-five years — which is about the duration from when Summer began her musical career. Ellen has featured quadruple that number of songs on her show. Since Donna Summer is dead now, though, maybe it is appropriate for Ellen to play something Donna sang instead of 'Sorry For Party Rocking' by LMFAO. Do you feel her golden heart yet?
Ellen really knows how to put her overwhelming amount of daily screen time to its best use. For example, Ellen once dedicated the greater part of two episodes to mope about a dog that was mistakenly given to her for a short period of time and had to be legally taken away. She took the time to cry on air in a carefully-filmed emotional break and halted production of the whole show for half a week to 'compose herself' afterwards. Thousands of family pets that have been dedicated members of a family group for, you know, longer than a week or two die each day. Perhaps this means Ellen should halt production on her show indefinitely to compose herself over that tragedy.
Two episodes (with Ellen crying included) for one dog would mean that for a thousand companion animals that have been with a family or individual for longer than ten years - as opposed to a couple of weeks - that subsequently die means two thousand episodes and a damned lot of whining for people other than herself. Those pets would die before lunchtime on any given day in America alone. I guess Ellen will be on television until she herself dies should she choose to take that route! Alternatively, perhaps she should spend the time to condemn each and every person who believes in breaching a written contract like she did only to have her fans send death threats to her opponent as was the case in Ellen's 'puppygate' scandal. Puppies are too cute to resist!
After I think about this, maybe that would take too much time away from the six year old and eight year old Ellen likes to have on her show to sing or scream pop and rap songs. They have appeared in large segments and interviews over time. Ellen, so smitten with their youth and British accents, has featured them in no less than two dozen episodes. This amounts to six hours of screen time by the most pessimistic guess. That's totally fair, though. It's not like obsessively using children under eight for ratings and YouTube views in exchange for a couple of plastic tiaras is a bit off or anything, right?
I guess I have changed my mind after thinking about this. With hours of toddlers miming to rap songs about cocaine (carefully edited with different lyrics for the rating council, of course) and all that time needed to cry and scream over an animal you want but legally can't have because it is contractually obligated to a certain person entrusted with taking care of it, I suppose the thirty seconds of Donna Summer is more than enough to make her memory last.
It almost wasn't, though. Thank heavens that Ellen remembered to include the air date for this episode so we don't forget to watch.
Moved by Lee (Forum Moderator): From 'Discuss Anything' as it's better suited here.
