Finding someone.

I've not seen my Dad for a really long time, and a couple of years ago I was told that he was really ill. It's been playing on my mind for a while and I was wondering if there's any possible way to track him down, or even find out if he's alive, if I don't have his surname or any of that info?

Is he not on your birth cert? If not the only other option i can think of is ask family / friends for his last name.

His name's not on my birth certificate, not sure if my Mum even knows his last name but I'll give it a shot asking. Thank you :)

Do you know any of his family? Like do you still see your nan or granddad (his parents) because maybe they'll know if he's okay or where he is. Also maybe you could ask the person that told you he was really ill because if they know that maybe they know where he is or if he's okay. I hope you find him :)

Somebody who went to my school recently met their Dad and grandparents, they're very very happy from what I can tell on FB.

I'd do it, why wait and waste time together? family breakdowns are so sad.

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Originally Posted by Paige.

Do you know any of his family? Like do you still see your nan or granddad (his parents) because maybe they'll know if he's okay or where he is. Also maybe you could ask the person that told you he was really ill because if they know that maybe they know where he is or if he's okay. I hope you find him :)

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No I don't know any of his family, they either live in Jamaica or aren't on speaking terms with me. I don't actually know the person by name, I'd only recognise them by sight but if I spot her around I'll ask her. I hope I do too, thanks for your help :)

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Originally Posted by -:Undertaker:-

Somebody who went to my school recently met their Dad and grandparents, they're very very happy from what I can tell on FB.

I'd do it, why wait and waste time together? family breakdowns are so sad.

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Yeah they are, kinda sucks how he hasn't bothered to get in touch since I was 8.

It is sad when children lose contact with a parent, and vice versa. I have watched the last two series of ‘Long Lost Family’ which tends to bring a tear to my eye. For most there is a happy ending, and not one they necessarily expect.

You say he hasn’t bothered seeing you from the age of 8. That may not be true, he certainly wouldn’t be the first father denied any access. I sense you don’t feel you can ask your mother about him. But if he was in your life up until the age of 8, then he had a place in your life that your mother either approved of or accepted. I feel you should find the right moment to talk to your mother about him, and find out as much as you can about him. I’ve no idea how your mother may react to you raising the subject, but it’s certainly worth a try. Don’t forget to tell your mother that you love her, and good luck :)

if you don't know his last name, nor any of his relatives then it'll be extremely difficult to find him; especially since you say his family is from jamaica so i assume that he's a first-generation immigrant, and thus makes it even more difficult to trace him without knowing his full name, d.o.b and whether he's married/died/etc. if you do actually know someone whose related to him (i'm guessing you may because you say they're not on speaking terms with you), then i'd really suggest that your best option is to actually reach out to them and just plead with them for atleast any information about him. i can't imagine any relative to be that cruel to deny information to a daughter looking for her father; and if they are/will do that, then that's just evil.

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Originally Posted by MissAlice

It is sad when children lose contact with a parent, and vice versa. I have watched the last two series of ‘Long Lost Family’ which tends to bring a tear to my eye. For most there is a happy ending, and not one they necessarily expect.

You say he hasn’t bothered seeing you from the age of 8. That may not be true, he certainly wouldn’t be the first father denied any access. I sense you don’t feel you can ask your mother about him. But if he was in your life up until the age of 8, then he had a place in your life that your mother either approved of or accepted. I feel you should find the right moment to talk to your mother about him, and find out as much as you can about him. I’ve no idea how your mother may react to you raising the subject, but it’s certainly worth a try. Don’t forget to tell your mother that you love her, and good luck :)

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I never thought about it like that, if he did try to contact me I probably wouldn't have known because I was young and no-one would have told me. Yeah I was hoping to leave asking my mum as my last option but it does appear to be my only option. She won't react in a bad way but she just doesn't like talking about him, I'll have a think about what I'm going to say so I can ask her later. Thank you for your help :)

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Originally Posted by dirrty

if you don't know his last name, nor any of his relatives then it'll be extremely difficult to find him; especially since you say his family is from jamaica so i assume that he's a first-generation immigrant, and thus makes it even more difficult to trace him without knowing his full name, d.o.b and whether he's married/died/etc. if you do actually know someone whose related to him (i'm guessing you may because you say they're not on speaking terms with you), then i'd really suggest that your best option is to actually reach out to them and just plead with them for atleast any information about him. i can't imagine any relative to be that cruel to deny information to a daughter looking for her father; and if they are/will do that, then that's just evil.

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If it turns out my mum doesn't know his last name I'll have to do this, I think they'd give me information about him though. Thanks for helping! :D

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Originally Posted by chantellehugs

I never thought about it like that, if he did try to contact me I probably wouldn't have known because I was young and no-one would have told me. Yeah I was hoping to leave asking my mum as my last option but it does appear to be my only option. She won't react in a bad way but she just doesn't like talking about him, I'll have a think about what I'm going to say so I can ask her later. Thank you for your help :)

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Exactly, we never know all the facts unless we ask the right questions. Even then the answers may be vague as it can be a very sensitive subject. Choosing the right moment is important, and with Fathers Day on Sunday 17th June, this could be the opportunity for raising the subject. I wish you well :)

I don't know what to say really, as I've never had to go through this. Do you know who told you he was ill? If they are in contact with him they may be able to help you... or even point you in the right direction??

Good luck with your search!