Jealous Friend?

So I have this friend within a group of friends who I hang around with all the time. It's basically us four together most of the time and sometimes a few other people join the group for a day or so until their friends come back into school or whatever. But my best friend is particularly jealous of me or my friends whenever we speak to anyone outside the group without him, or we leave him for any reason. Most of the time it's because he's just sitting there doing nothing or he's talking to other people, but he gets really jealous and starts saying you're ditching him for other people. He's already fallen out with one of his best friends because of it and I'm just getting a bit annoyed about it.

He's started countless arguments about it already and manages to dump the blame on someone else every time, he's the same whenever anyone in our group gets a girlfriend or gets particularly close to a girl, he does everything he can to ruin it, it's not because he's a bad friend or anything, he just gets jealous very easily. I don't want to fall out with him over it, but I don't know how I can tell him without starting an argument.

If he really is your best friend then he won't fall out with you for calling him out on it, you just need to be gentle. It sounds like he's a little insecure about the strength of his own relationships with you/your other friends so is worried that if you form new friendships that you might forget about him. Try including him in discussion and inviting him to join you when you and your other friends talk to other people so he doesn't feel so left out.

It's not that though, he doesn't want to speak to other people - he wants us all to be friends with him and he can speak to other people, but no one else can.

I don't think he really feels like that at all. Like I said, he's probably worried that if you do speak to other people that you might forget about him! If he's actively going out of his way somehow to stop you from speaking to others then no matter what the reason behind it is he definitely needs a talking so next time he makes a related comment just tell him how you feel. Tell him that if he continues then he's going to lose all of his friends but also tell him how much you value him as a friend and that you'd hate to fall out with him over something so ridiculous. If he's not willing to change his ways then he's not worth being friends with.

You can't tell him without starting an argument. It's impossible. He's going to get defensive and you're going to have to stand your ground. You know you haven't done anything wrong so that's all you need to keep firm and say enough is enough. You are your own person and you can talk to whoever you like with or without him. Make the last four words sound like it's a choice he's going to have to make rather than you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gibs960

It's not that though, he doesn't want to speak to other people - he wants us all to be friends with him and he can speak to other people, but no one else can.

---

Unless he's actually told you this in person, I highly doubt this is how he's feeling. As said above, he's probably feeling insecure and slightly pushed to the side. Instead of deciding his thoughts for him, try asking him how he really feels. Maybe you don't need to tell him how YOU feel straight away, but it's important you know what's going on inside his head before charging in there guns blazing.

Part of this is like me tbh: I get too protective over my friend and if she goes and talks to someone else I get really upset thinking she's going to never talk to me again. Paranoid and Pathetic.

But I do this because I don't really have any other friends, so the thought of losing her is awful. Maybe this is your friends train of thought? He has nobody else so if he sees you all talking to other people, he thinks you're planning to ditch him??

To be honest, I do get jealous when my best friend was talking to the other friends. Like my best friend would never even care about me, talk to me and asked me if I'm alright... He seems to be like ditched me when he was talking to his friends which I am not included in the conversation. I got pretty upset day by day... but one day, I decide to left him cause I couldn't stand it. I didn't told him the truth. Never talk to him, ask him if he was alright. Right now, I am happy with the new friends that I made. But idk if I did the right thing to leave him with his new friends. This is why I hate to being close with my friends. I will get tend to get disappointed when I get my hopes high. Right now, I don't even know if my friends is still thinking about me? Some of his friends began to talk to me on twitter. That's where my true friends are!

I don't know if I did the right thing to ditch my best friend because I wanted him to feel how painful I am when he try to ditch me. I used to treat him as my big bro, but I realised I was wrong because he didn't even care about me at all. I was stupid. I will accept any advise, comment or criticism.

My sister did this!! Be very careful how you approach it. You can't just give out or anything, you need to sit with him and tell him why it's unacceptable.

I have a friend like this at the moment that I'm currently dealing with in the best way possible.
He hates it whenever a conversation doesn't involve him and he despises the thought of not being my best friend. He's even tried to get me to stop talking to my other friends just so he can become my best friend. After all this crap I sat him down and told him to cut that **** out and every time he does something like it nowadays I shout him down or completely ignore him.

The best way is too just tell it straight.

your friend sounds like a fomo. fear of missing out!