What are your views on parents smacking there children?
Printable View
What are your views on parents smacking there children?
I think it's alright but not too often. Children need some discipline in their childhood to maintain a good enough life. But not too often though. Parents who take their anger out on their children and in fact when they don't deserve it, that is just appalling...
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
It's wrong. I remember reading somewhere that it's been proven that physically punishing your children can lead to anxiety and other stuff or something in later life. Plus, violence is just plain wrong.
There are many simpler solutions - and ones that work better - than violence.
its fine if its not leaving a mark . how else would they discipline the child?.. the time out chairs never works
I deserved my physical punishment. No wonder children these days can't withstand pain, not on the playgrounds or even in sport (Cricket bats made of flipping plastic).
I called my Mum a ***** and got a slap right across the face. Do I have anxiety? No. Do I hate society? No. I got my just desserts for disrespecting my Mother.
What a nanny-state Government proposition. What's next?
Quote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
Are you saying this from experience or is this an assumption
- - - Updated - - -
ot: I don't really have problems with parents doing it sometimes and I won't stop them and tell them it's wrong but I don't think smacking should be seen as a healthy practice. So yeah avoid encouraging it
the time out chair did nothing to me . but the hits smarten me upQuote:
Originally Posted by karter
If the time out chair didn't work it was used wrongQuote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
If it dont leave a mark then yeah, but should it even happen anyway, cant the parents find another way to punish there children. And how do the parents know if it will leave a mark. Its abuse.
I'm not a fan of it, and I won't be smacking my children, but there's no way it can be stopped really.
And even if there was a 'law' on saying it was wrong, where do you draw the line?
you place a plastic chair in the corner of the room and u sit there for 20min. how was it used wrongQuote:
Originally Posted by Dilusionate
Well firstly 20 mins is used wrong. Also, I don't know how the child cooperated so I can't tell you what elseQuote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
If it's a young child and it isn't working, you just aren't doing it correctly. And you aren't sticking to it hard enough.Quote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dilusionate
ya but i just think giving your child i little tap on the bum or the arm and say "don't do that" is just better . its not even child abuse . abuse is when you're hitting them for no reason leaving marks and cutsQuote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
You can result to that if you don't know how to discipline a child but you shouldn't resort to that straight away. Giving them "a little tap on the bum" is in no way better? At first you might think it shows that you have the authority and it's showing the child that they have done something wrong but then they may think it's okay to hit other children in daycare, school etc. when they do something wrong or something your child doesn't agree withQuote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
It's wrong but it happens, it shouldn't but it does
You never said a tap, but it's wrong either way. And when we talk about a tap, surely that only applies for the likes of a two year old? Hitting your children is not needed and is the lazy way for parenting --- most of the time it doesn't always succeed too. I can understand back many years ago when it was seen as the correct and only way to discipline your child, but times have changed.Quote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
Everything dilusionate said above, too.
People who are supporting smacking have only two arguments for it
1. Children are annoying and they sometimes need a good lesson
2. I WAS SMACKED WHEN I MISBEHAVED AND LOOK AT ME NOW!!!!!
and obviously ignoring the fact that child psychologists (who obviously have vast knowledge on this topic) do not prefer this method
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dilusionate
but see everyone has different ways of disciplining their child . do whats yoursQuote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
removing toys? you're just going make them sit there on the floor for 2 hours crying over and over
wha......the same could happen if you smack them too?Quote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
i said a tap . but you would obv teach your kid not to hit others.. ya you can remove toys but then all its going to cause is a fit.Quote:
Originally Posted by karter
Everyone has their own way yeah but no kid likes to be hit, no matter how hard. You say that they could cry for two hours for taking away a toy? Some time you could get so frustrated and hit them to hard and will be scarred for life. They're going to cry no matter how you discipline them, might as well do it the way you're not hitting them?Quote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
And hitting them won't? Yeah, you're right, everyone has different ways of disciplining their child. Hitting should not be one of them. If it is, that parent clearly isn't a fit parent in today's time.Quote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
You'll try explain to a child that they're not allowed to hit others while you're hitting them...okQuote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dilusionate
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
im still waiting on you 2 to explain to me how you would do it ..Quote:
Originally Posted by Dilusionate
but like i said. the views are different look at this
Quote:
• 94% of 3- and 4-year-olds have been spanked at least once during the past year, according to one study.
• 74% of mothers believe spanking is acceptable for kids ages 1 to 3, says another study.
• 61% of parents condone spanking as a "regular form of punishment" for young children, according to a different study.
I'd use the time out and I have done for the past three years of working in childcare.Quote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
What's the source you quoted that from?
ya but see in child care you're not allowed to hit some one else's kid that's Assault . but when its your own kid it's differentQuote:
Originally Posted by Dilusionate
I'm sorry but what do percentages have ANYTHING to do with this? :P. This is about right and wrong - not the percentage of people that do the wrong.Quote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
Ages 6 or less:
Naughty corner. First time will be hard, they may continue for over an hour of tantrums and constantly running away. Just keep putting them back until they've served their 20 minutes, even if it takes three hours. Tell them nicely what they've done just once until they serve their time.
Ages 7-13:
Take away their consoles, stuff you've bought them. No tv, no contact with friends other than at school. Take it away until a sincere apology and for a set time alongside that. Even if it takes a month, they'll eventually regret it and be sincere with an apology.
Ages 14 plus:
Same as above, but be a lot more tough with them. No physical abuse though, nor physical threats. If they themselves become such troubling, you are allowed to contact the police to have a word with them.
Of course there's a lot more to it than that, but all children can be raised correctly without hitting. It's whether or not the parent has the patience for the beginning steps to it.
- - - Updated - - -
Clearly his way works in childcare, ultimately meaning that violence to children is bad parenting and completely unnecessary?Quote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis
so what you're saying here is that as long as your kid says sorry they will get it back . that doesn't teach anything. you're going to take away a toy and your kid will just say sorry and you will give it back. and your kid will keep doing the same thing over and over.Quote:
Take away their consoles, stuff you've bought them. No tv, no contact with friends other than at school. Take it away until a sincere apology and for a set time alongside that. Even if it takes a month, they'll eventually regret it and be sincere with an apology.
And yes i have to admit you have some very good ideas there.
I haven't time to read that right now but I will tomorrow and talk about it then but I had a quick glimpse at the comments underneath and most disagreed with the article. Who cares if it's in a childcare setting? It still works? I'm not going to use time out technique in work and go home to my kids and beat them around the place because they're mine and I can do whateverQuote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
No I did not. I said as long as they're giving sincere apologies ALONGSIDE a time, perhaps a week slowly building up higher the more trouble they cause.Quote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
That's why you put a time limit or a chore to it by saying "you will get this back in 3 days so long as are well behaved" or "You will get this once you've completed a chore when you are asked" or something.Quote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
Beating is a whole different term here now. my friend use to get the belt when he was a kid. so compare the belt to a spank . you would pick the spank. for a time out chair i don't see how it works. i use to watch a lot of nanny911 (good show) and every time they put the kid on the time out chair they kid would get up and run. i'm not going to sit there with my child for 20 min while hes on time out. every kid is different . yes the time out chair may work . but other kids will think its a joke.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dilusionate
Okay, for using time out, you have a chair/cool down area or whatever it may be, really doesn't matter as long as it has no toys.Quote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
If a child is misbehaving, you warn them by saying something like "If you do that/misbehave again, you will go into time out"
If they do it again, you put them there for one minute per years old. So a 6 year old child would get six minutes.
You take them over and you sit them down, explain what they have done and why it is wrong and walk away - no interaction when in the chair
If they get up before their six minutes is up, you take them back and say "You need to stay here until I tell you it is okay to join the group or I will have to bring you back" and they start the six minutes again.
You obviously have to be patient as this can literally take hours sometimes.
Eventually the child will just realise that the only way they'll be allowed back to the group is if they do the time allotted.
When they have finished, you go to them and say "You have been put in time out because you hit Johnny with a wrench and that it wrong, we can't hit people, if you're upset with someone, you tell us and we will deal with it" and ask the child to apologise to Johnny and give him a hug
if 2 kids fight why would u make them hug that's just stupid . when 2 grown up fights you see the police making them hug out their differences.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dilusionate
but you see parents don't have " hours " to make sure their child in going to sit in the time out chair . parents have to cook dinner clean the house make sure they have everything ready for tomorrow make sure everyone is ready for bed. yes the time out chair does work sometimes but if your kid is just going to keep moving and its going to take you " hours" then you need a different solution
Not sure if the bolded bit was actually serious or not?Quote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
UHMM yeah but if parents don't have hours (hours would be rare, only with extreme kids like the ones on nanny911 or w.e) that doesn't mean they should resort to hitting?
spanking.. hitting and beating and spanking are 3 different things . it wouldn't hurt the childQuote:
Originally Posted by Dilusionate
Okay lets just assume when I say hitting I mean spanking because we don't really say spanking over here :P Yeah but whether you hurt the child or not, you're still teaching the child that it's okay to hit others when they have done wrong. Even if you're not hurting the child, if a child decides to copy your actions on another child, that child can be hurt. Children don't realise their own strength.Quote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
But you do realise that 'just spanking' could escalate to hitting and beating and serious abuse later on?Quote:
Originally Posted by !x!dude!x!2
yes that's a chance that could happen . but you aren't hurting the child with a spank. ( which is less than a hit) you spank them on the bum.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dilusionate
but if your spanking your child and its turning to you beating the kid later on them you aren't a fit parentQuote:
Originally Posted by karter