ways to build self confidence?

before i start i just want to say that i am terrible with words and i find it hard to explain stuff

so...

not really sure where to start but i've noticed (as well as a couple of my friends lol) that recently i've been pretty much negative and pessimistic about everything. you know when you just feel like giving up? that's me everyday and i don't even know why i feel that way because my situation isn't even that bad. i think it might have something to do with college and applying for university because i honestly don't think i'm good enough to go or have a place there, especially if i'm struggling with a levels as much as i do. wahhhhh i'm using this thread to rant in a little bit too so i'm probably rambling. also i find it hard to talk to people irl about this sort of stuff. but yeah, is there anything that you know about that makes you feel better and helps with your self confidence? even whilst writing this thread i said to myself that no1 will bother replying ugh #emo

I used to be in the situation you were in. It always helps to talk about your problems with friends/family 'coz they're bound to notice. As for building self-confidence - have you ever done volunteering? Great way to talk to people, make friends, and it also looks good on your CV. :D

I'm not an expert but wouldn't trying to do more things irl help... Like a hobby which includes other people... Not coding or painting... Like sports or drama


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Originally Posted by Ailurus

I used to be in the situation you were in. It always helps to talk about your problems with friends/family 'coz they're bound to notice. As for building self-confidence - have you ever done volunteering? Great way to talk to people, make friends, and it also looks good on your CV. :D

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mehhh i don't like talking to other people about my problems, i'm usually the person helping rather than being helped

and er i'm not sure if there's any volunteering programmes around where i live and college takes up most of my time lol :(

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Originally Posted by Skandair

I'm not an expert but wouldn't trying to do more things irl help... Like a hobby which includes other people... Not coding or painting... Like sports or drama


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are you trying to throw shade because i don't code or paint.. so gotcha. and i don't like sports or drama

Well I'm sure there are things which do interest you


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Originally Posted by cameron

before i start i just want to say that i am terrible with words and i find it hard to explain stuff

so...

not really sure where to start but i've noticed (as well as a couple of my friends lol) that recently i've been pretty much negative and pessimistic about everything. you know when you just feel like giving up? that's me everyday and i don't even know why i feel that way because my situation isn't even that bad. i think it might have something to do with college and applying for university because i honestly don't think i'm good enough to go or have a place there, especially if i'm struggling with a levels as much as i do. wahhhhh i'm using this thread to rant in a little bit too so i'm probably rambling. also i find it hard to talk to people irl about this sort of stuff. but yeah, is there anything that you know about that makes you feel better and helps with your self confidence? even whilst writing this thread i said to myself that no1 will bother replying ugh #emo

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I am really sorry to hear about your troubles. Life can get rough sometimes and I know you feel man. Don't worry about not thinking you will be good enough for uni, it's a completely different ball game compared to school.

I used to be really negative because I feel like I am very isolated with few friends but I think you just learn to adapt at some point. I hope you feeel better soon!!

It doesn't necessarily have to be an official volunteer program. There are many charity shops out there that you can offer a couple of hours too. But that's of course if you want to improve your self-confidence. Pushing yourself out of your own comfort zone is half the battle, mate. :)

I say to everyone who has self-esteem issues that they should write a list of what they like and what they dislike about themself but the catch is you have to go good, bad, good, bad. They get so wrapped up in what they don't like about themselves that they forget that there's a lot that they do. That and it's therapeutic to get it on paper rather than having doubts whirring around your head

I always try to do something I wouldn't normally do because I'm afraid in order to help me face my fears and to hopefully build my confidence.

I genuinely believe, and from experience, that talking about your problems really clears your mind and conscience. Try find someone you trust.

well i can't give specific advice as idk the root of the problem, when exactly does your low self esteem occur? is it just overthinking whenever you're alone or in the actual situations? what I try to do is change my thoughts into more rational ones. using your example of feeling like no one will bother replying, instead of it being because you're a loser or no one cares, it'll just be that no one would know how to reply. what people need to remember is that others don't judge you as much as u think, they aren't judging every little move u make like we do to ourselves.

idk if I'm on the right tracks but i do see a negative thought processes where you're like apologizing for your feelings or trying to make it seem like u don't really care (oh I'm probably just rambling.. oh no-one will reply) like, your feelings are ok u don't need to make excuses to other people for having them. I think that's a very important thing in having self esteem, you're allowed to have feelings, u don't have to pretend you don't and your feelings are valid. it is hard to have a positive mindset if you're not naturally inclined so and honestly, i don't believe people naturally are, u do have to work at it and think logically. plenty people struggle with a-levels but that doesn't show their worth or talent, it just shows how well u can take an exam. u have to force positivity and once u see the benefits, it starts to come naturally. & if u fail, u have to see it in a rational light that ok you've failed but it's not the end of the world and in a few months everything will be fine. life is full of failures and success for EVERYONE.

maybe u can tell me more about when it occurs, what you THINK and FEEL when it occurs etc n maybe I can help more xxxx

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Originally Posted by Daltron

I am really sorry to hear about your troubles. Life can get rough sometimes and I know you feel man. Don't worry about not thinking you will be good enough for uni, it's a completely different ball game compared to school.

I used to be really negative because I feel like I am very isolated with few friends but I think you just learn to adapt at some point. I hope you feeel better soon!!

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i've heard a couple of people say that university is different but i'm not entirely sure how it works so i'm a little worried i guess. i just feel that i'd be letting myself and my family down if it came to the point where i wouldn't be able to handle it yknow? my brother only recently started uni and i feel that there's pressure for me to follow in his footsteps, which there probably isn't but i can't help but feel it aha. just gotta see how things go i guessss

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Originally Posted by Ailurus

It doesn't necessarily have to be an official volunteer program. There are many charity shops out there that you can offer a couple of hours too. But that's of course if you want to improve your self-confidence. Pushing yourself out of your own comfort zone is half the battle, mate. :)

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ah i think that'd be pretty cool. i'll try look into it +repzz

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Originally Posted by Inseriousity.

I say to everyone who has self-esteem issues that they should write a list of what they like and what they dislike about themself but the catch is you have to go good, bad, good, bad. They get so wrapped up in what they don't like about themselves that they forget that there's a lot that they do. That and it's therapeutic to get it on paper rather than having doubts whirring around your head

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hm sounds like a good idea, might take me a while to think of anything good though. uh i'm so depressing laa

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Originally Posted by Shar

I always try to do something I wouldn't normally do because I'm afraid in order to help me face my fears and to hopefully build my confidence.

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yeah i suppose that'd be good, not too sure what i'd do though ahaha

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Originally Posted by e5

I genuinely believe, and from experience, that talking about your problems really clears your mind and conscience. Try find someone you trust.

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i usually hate talking to people about myself but i could give it a go

maybe i'll open applications online for someone i can moan about life to

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Originally Posted by buttons

well i can't give specific advice as idk the root of the problem, when exactly does your low self esteem occur? is it just overthinking whenever you're alone or in the actual situations? what I try to do is change my thoughts into more rational ones. using your example of feeling like no one will bother replying, instead of it being because you're a loser or no one cares, it'll just be that no one would know how to reply. what people need to remember is that others don't judge you as much as u think, they aren't judging every little move u make like we do to ourselves.

idk if I'm on the right tracks but i do see a negative thought processes where you're like apologizing for your feelings or trying to make it seem like u don't really care (oh I'm probably just rambling.. oh no-one will reply) like, your feelings are ok u don't need to make excuses to other people for having them. I think that's a very important thing in having self esteem, you're allowed to have feelings, u don't have to pretend you don't and your feelings are valid. it is hard to have a positive mindset if you're not naturally inclined so and honestly, i don't believe people naturally are, u do have to work at it and think logically. plenty people struggle with a-levels but that doesn't show their worth or talent, it just shows how well u can take an exam. u have to force positivity and once u see the benefits, it starts to come naturally. & if u fail, u have to see it in a rational light that ok you've failed but it's not the end of the world and in a few months everything will be fine. life is full of failures and success for EVERYONE.

maybe u can tell me more about when it occurs, what you THINK and FEEL when it occurs etc n maybe I can help more xxxx

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oops didn't see this post before replying

i think it usually occurs when i'm alone because i tend to overthink things and end up worrying about stuff i probably shouldn't be worrying about. i find it difficult not knowing what's gonna happen in the future, like, if i'll get a place in university or if i'll get the grades i need to carry on. it's my final year in college and the workload is pretty much killing me atm so most the time i find myself being stuck in my room doing the work.. overthinking things again. and like i said in another post, i feel that there's pressure for me to do well and end up getting a place because my brother has. in previous years when i was at school and stuff i was always labelled 'the clever one' for some reason and although i don't think it'll happen, i feel that if things were to go wrong i'd be letting my family down. i don't even know what i'd do without a place either though.. like all my friends will leave in september and i'll be left here ughh cba. and because of this stress/pressure i have with college it's made me feel useless. i don't have any confidence within my work or anything i do anymore. and yeah i find it hard to talk about my feelings, especially having to write them in a thread, i usually bottle stuff up and listen to other peoples problems. i just feel stressed useless, and i'm cringing at myself rn

u need to throw urself out of ur comfort zone and when u move out and go to uni u will do just that but it doesnt sound like ummmm.....idk it doesnt sound like social anxiety kind of confidence issues. its more self belief confidence issues

u just need to prove urself wrong and get gd results. get into uni then u will believe in urself more. when u get to uni it is so much more chill. u will move out i assume (??) so u will make new friends and u will be around each other all the time and be super close and u might find some amazing ppl who u feel comfortable around to talk with. and yh things will change and get better but its down to u to work hard

Try to find your strong points and focus on those rather than your weaker points. Get out and get to know yourself. You will figure out so many new things. Over time things get better :)

I tend to be more confident when not with people I know tbh.

To avoid feeling down like that, I usually sleep or try and immerse myself in something I like to do (which is really hard to find these days, I feel like I hate everything). I'm going to try and incorporate exercise into my daily routine because A. I want to loose some weight, and B. Apparently it's a good distraction.
Try and reduce your daily load of stress or concern. Write lists, think things through. :)