losing mates to their significant other

i proper hate it when ya mates get girlfriends or boyfriends and you never see them again is it like that for anyone else. one friend we barely see now cos she's got a fella and my other mate now like isn't out idk why its so annoying. i'm sorry but like even if you were going out with the most gorgeous stunning model ever why would you wanna spend all ya time with them?? bros before **** i could NEVER imagine dropping my mates i love seeing them all time

anyone else increasingly have this problem

Thread moved by Samanfa (Forum Super Moderator): From 'Discuss Anything' as it is better suited here.

oh give it a rest

Post edited by Empired (Forum Moderator): Please don't be rude to other members!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Evanora

oh give it a rest

---

:naughty::naughty::naughty:

so annoying though i phoned a mate today like been trying to get hold of him to offer a FREE HOLIDAY to america like accomodation wise and he doesnt pick up and just says he's in london with his woman.

barely see my BFF since she's been with her new boyfriend but meh ive made the effort so there's nothing else i can do, we both have our own lives now anyway and live way too far apart :(

but my other friends will say the same as you, that i never go out with them because im always with my boyfriend... well yeah, im not interested in partying until 9am regretting my life choices when i could save my money and spend it with someone who sees more than a 'drinking buddy'!!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by -:Undertaker:-

:naughty::naughty::naughty:

so annoying though i phoned a mate today like been trying to get hold of him to offer a FREE HOLIDAY to america like accomodation wise and he doesnt pick up and just says he's in london with his woman.

---

as if i was givin a warning by @Empired; for being rude of course im not rude to undertaker i made him an appreciation thread LAST NIGHT!!!!!

yes yes you need better friends

Completely the opposite with me, not sure why, but my boyfriend sees his friends more than me (not intentional, I think it's just because he sees them at college). I don't have too many friends outside of work, so it really doesn't bother me.

When you have something or someone new in your life then yeah you tend to want to spend time with them and you can't just invent time so yeah spending less time with mates is normal. My best friend was with a girl and he used to be out like 2 or 3 nights a week with her but that's fine because that's a normal part of adult life :p

You'd be surprised how easy it is when you have someone to cut down on other things and just getting annoyed at your friends just cos they're in relationships is just gonna ruin any shred of a friendship you've got left. So really you're just the one cutting him out just cos you're not prepared to give him a bit of leeway to do something (or someone in this case someone) else

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Evanora

as if i was givin a warning by @Empired; for being rude of course im not rude to undertaker i made him an appreciation thread LAST NIGHT!!!!!

yes yes you need better friends

---

DON'T HATE ME IT WAS ALL SAMANFA :'( she's got us all under lock and key it's a terrifying moderator dictatorship

BUT honestly if you're losing your friends to their partners they're clearly not very good at the whole friendship thing lol. and they're gonna regret it when they realise that friendships tend to last a lot longer than relationships

I'm kind of the opposite here, my friends stopped speaking to me because I started a relationship with a girl. I still would hang out with them, until they decided that I had to choose between them or 'the dog' Lauren. I'm happy with my decision in hindsight; they would force me to stop everything I was doing to benefit them constantly, when I did things for myself it was like the world ended for them. cba with that.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Zealoux

I'm kind of the opposite here, my friends stopped speaking to me because I started a relationship with a girl. I still would hang out with them, until they decided that I had to choose between them or 'the dog' Lauren. I'm happy with my decision in hindsight; they would force me to stop everything I was doing to benefit them constantly, when I did things for myself it was like the world ended for them. cba with that.

---

Ye I'm always of the opinion that if someone gives me a "it's me or them" choice, I will never choose them simply for making me choose.

If they're both making me choose then I guess I'd just have to walk away from both of them.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Zealoux

I'm kind of the opposite here, my friends stopped speaking to me because I started a relationship with a girl. I still would hang out with them, until they decided that I had to choose between them or 'the dog' Lauren. I'm happy with my decision in hindsight; they would force me to stop everything I was doing to benefit them constantly, when I did things for myself it was like the world ended for them. cba with that.

---

What the hell that's awful! Glad you got rid of those closed-minded people anyway, don't sound like very good friends anyway

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by lawrawrrr

What the hell that's awful! Glad you got rid of those closed-minded people anyway, don't sound like very good friends anyway

---

Only had them as friends for 10+ Years no big deal ;(

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Empired

Ye I'm always of the opinion that if someone gives me a "it's me or them" choice, I will never choose them simply for making me choose.

If they're both making me choose then I guess I'd just have to walk away from both of them.

---

Exactly, don't be a douche and make someone choose, adapt, make your feelings known etc, but get on with it. It's not your decision to make.

i still havent recovered a friend since he got a gf maybe 5+ years ago now :boohoo:

he has since had 1 or 2 diff gfs and history repeats each time. as a result i have seen him maybe once each year since the first witch he dated

Can't really get mad at a friend for wanting to share their life with someone more intimately than having a chat and going for drinks every now and then. Give them space and show an interest in their b/gf as well as them - invite them out as a couple, befriend the girl, welcome her to your group.

dunno why it's a crime for ppl to wanna be with their bf/gf all the time as long as the other one wants it too

rather focus my time into someone tht is potentially and hopefully gonna be there for the long run that u LOVE as opposed to friends who ur not gonna be mates with after college tht talk shit about u anyway

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sharon

dunno why it's a crime for ppl to wanna be with their bf/gf all the time as long as the other one wants it too

rather focus my time into someone tht is potentially and hopefully gonna be there for the long run that u LOVE as opposed to friends who ur not gonna be mates with after college tht talk shit about u anyway

---

I think that's the definition of "not a friend" ?

Don't think anyone's saying it's a crime to spend time with their romantic partner, just that it might not be wise to alienate your friends for someone who you may very well end up breaking up with anyway. You're either going to break up with them or stay with them for the rest of your life, after all.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Empired

I think that's the definition of "not a friend" ?

Don't think anyone's saying it's a crime to spend time with their romantic partner, just that it might not be wise to alienate your friends for someone who you may very well end up breaking up with anyway. You're either going to break up with them or stay with them for the rest of your life, after all.

---

not really. it's a bit too much of an ideal to pretend that in a group of friends ppl aren't gonna bitch from time to time or that just cos ur not friends for LIFE that you're not actually friends. my friends openly say that once we leave we prob won't talk anymore lol and we're all quite fine with it... we're movin to all different directions of the UK it's hardly gonna be anything.

what's wrong with preferring to spend all ur time with ur bf/gf if you prefer their company? don't think it's fair to tell anyone who they should or shouldn't be spending time with

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sharon

not really. it's a bit too much of an ideal to pretend that in a group of friends ppl aren't gonna bitch from time to time or that just cos ur not friends for LIFE that you're not actually friends. my friends openly say that once we leave we prob won't talk anymore lol and we're all quite fine with it... we're movin to all different directions of the UK it's hardly gonna be anything.

what's wrong with preferring to spend all ur time with ur bf/gf if you prefer their company? don't think it's fair to tell anyone who they should or shouldn't be spending time with

---

I am actually specifically trying to say in that post that nobody is banning anyone from spending all their time with their bf/gf, just that it might not be such a good idea?

And still, bitching behind your friends backs just doesn't seem very friendly to me. I used to be nasty about my friends when they weren't around (they did the same to me too) and I realised after I'd fallen out with a third or fourth group that I was actually really bad at being a friend and that's why I couldn't keep them. Now with my current group of friends I make sure that I never say anything about them that I wouldn't say if they were standing right next to me and we've been much closer- and I've valued them much more- than I have done with anyone else.

I also don't think I tried to say that not being friends for life doesn't make you friends. Of course people drift apart and horns clash, but I'm just saying there are fewer opportunities to break up with a significant other than a friend.

I don't really know what I'm saying anymore to be honest, just please don't think I'm tryna tell anyone who they should/shouldn't spend their time with :(

I'm with Kyle on this one. Most of my friends' partners always end up being part of the group, and if they want to spend time away from us I'd understand that too.

with my pal we see each other as much as we can and she does say she has plans with her bf a lot as an excuse for not being free but i don't care enough to have a problem with it, not because she's a bad friend but cause i get why she can't?? it can be slightly annoying after SO many attempts but it's not much of an issue for me :O