> IT ALL STARTED WHEN INTERSOCIAL WAS MEAN TO ME IN THE HELP DESK..
Me, mean? Never. @
Empired;
Don't think I could explain the past five years of development without turning this into an essay, but certainly the last year of my life has been a series of constant person changes - particularly these past three/four months. University tanked for me in the first year because I ended up with so many emotional problems & genuine alcoholism, and I inevitably failed two modules (one of them because I just didn't go to the exams...) but refused to quit uni because y'know...stubborn and don't like quitting. So I lamentably powered through my resits and I'm 99% confident I passed, but besides that the whole education side of things I spent a lot of time working on the mental health aspect of my life this Summer (some with a therapist) and I honestly find it incredible the person I am now compared to merely 6 months ago. Managed to overcome so many dark thoughts, so many insecurities with my friendships, so much self-critique and doubt, so many mood issues, and honestly I look at myself now and I'm floored at how I overcame so many deep-rooted issues in such a short space of time. There's still work to go, but it's incredible that I no longer spend so much time ruminating over how other people perceive me and quaint stuff like
omg do my friends even like me.
I am more at ease socially than I was before. I now a lot eat better than I used to (still far to go!) and seem to be on a path towards vegetarianism, whilst also baking & cooking more in general. I actually make an effort to try and look decent now and actually bother to iron clothes now (pretty much no-one irons here at uni unless it's a smart shirt). I'm looking to start volunteering soon and will probably try to take up some kind of sport as I have an odd yearning to do so. Astonishingly I now have some vague interest in football which was
never to be expected in my life, and half-try to follow it (though Bundesliga not EPL). Even smaller things like my music taste have changed quite oddly... I now seem way more interested in trance and house music than anything else. I'm starting to read more again and will try to get through some classical literature... after I get through the other 40 books I have been meaning to read...
Anyway, even comparing myself to like 6 months ago I am astonished at the person I am right now. P.S. if you're reading this go watch BoJack Horseman on Netflix cause it's an incredibly poignant show and hit me with some harsh truths about myself tbh. Right now I am positive I'm the best version of myself that there's ever been, and whilst I do still have some setbacks and many things to improve, I'm proud.