Compare yourself...

Okay so that other thread on running and how a load of us are like active and have lives and stuff got me thinking.

What do we all think we're like now compared to our past selves? Like think about how you've changed over the past 5 or 10 (idk, you pick depending on what works for you) years, specifically in relation to the forum as well.

Five years ago I believe I was working in the Help Desk absolutely buzzing for a new year of HxSS, totally planning to not leave my room for the next two weeks to rack up those points for Black team lol.
And now I have not the best job but something I really bloody love doing surrounded by coworkers who are basically my second family. I want to say my awkwardness has subsided but actually it's more like it's changed into something I can work with, like for example I genuinely enjoy talking to people now which is still a relatively new thing for me.

I actually typed out a few more sentences for what I was like in summer 2013 but I don't wanna spill my life story to you all and then have everyone else post like "five years ago I was 5ft10 and now I'm 5ft11" or some impersonal shit (flyingjesus dont even think about posting that as a joke now) while I'm here like "IT ALL STARTED WHEN INTERSOCIAL WAS MEAN TO ME IN THE HELP DESK..." so I'm gonna see what you guys come up with and then maybe post more if you inspire me.

SO YEAH make me feel nostalgic with your life success stories (could've renamed this thread 'How did you get a life?') or entertain me with your failure stories lol.

Hard one...

10 years ago I was just floating through life without a care in the world and just addicted to games with a really unhealthy lifestyle, not active at all, not social at all, etc.

5 years ago I changed my unhealthy lifestyle slightly, had a niece and nephew so someone else to annoy and was a few months into my first serious relationship so was madly in love. I was still stupidly addicted to the internet and games and had an unhealthy lifestyle (wasn't active at all and was anti social still, just ate less shit).

Now I'm the opposite and have a really healthy lifestyle, still get to annoy my niece and nephew at least once a week for like 8 hours (love) (which is more than I used to see them even though I'm now 40 minutes away), I exercise about 9 times a week so I'm very active now and I actually love it and can't wait to go for a run, to the gym, etc which I never thought would ever happen, even going back to the running thread I done a charity 5k yesterday, have a 15k obstacle race next month and another 9 or so races coming up which I'm doing with groups of 4-29 friends which goes up to 20 mile distance.. which if you went back a few years I couldn't run 20 meters never mind 20 miles and had 1 friend irl who was also my gf... I have absolutely no interest in games now (I don't think I've launched a game since December last year) and couldn't care less if I wasn't on the internet for days. I'm trying to be a lot more social too like going out for meals with friends etc which I've never done before really, I'll also be going on nights out etc which I would always avoid before as I don't drink.

So yeah quite a lot changed, in most aspects of my life I'm a lot happier now than I ever have been, only one aspect I'm not happy with :)

Oh also, I've always been very self conscious about pictures of myself so straight up refused to have any pictures taken of me and I would hide from pictures lmfao where as now I'm happy to sit for a picture and couldn't care less when people take them. I also actually have hair now where as for the last 15 years I've just cut my hair to like 2mm anytime it got long enough to stick up.. now my hair is a lot longer and I try to style it �� life story over.

Wait one more thing.. I also think I've always been fairly selfish and typically got my own way, and although I tried to make certain people happy I do think deep down I did try to get something out of it for myself too? Where as this year is probably the first time I have truly prioritised someone over myself and what I think/want doesn't matter only their happiness does?

Okay it's way past my bed time and I get far too weird and open when I'm tired so time to sleep.

Five years ago I was approaching my first year anniversary with my then-girlfriend. I think by that point we had moved away from Blackpool and were about to move into an apartment together in London. It was a very transitional time in our lives, but I was happy despite some bad moments here and there. The following two years were fairly stable, then everything went to shit.

These days I am very pessimistic and feel my best years are already behind me. I stopped visiting Habbox from like 2012 until 2017, so I don't have any forum specific memories from those times. I have a stable job, but haven't progressed at all in terms of a career, though I am just two months away from getting a Masters degree. Thinking back to how I used to be five years ago is so surreal. I've fallen so far, but I stuck it out and I'm still here, so I guess that's something. I hope the next five years are good to me.

Ten years ago I would have probably just finished college for the summer. Honestly, those were some of my best times. I didn't know anybody in my class when I started, but everyone was really nice and I made two very close friends. I always had a tight group of friends in school, but this was the first time I connected with anybody else so strongly. Back then I was kind of timid — I wish I had been more outgoing so I could have gotten to know some of the other people in my class better. I guess I'm a lot more easy-going now, but at the same time I'm kind of hopeless.

The first half of 2008 and late 2012/early 2013 were the best times of my life. The first half of 2012 and pretty much the entirety of 2017 were the worst times of my life. This year has been extremely unremarkable. I'm certainly a more independent person now (though there are a few conflicts in my life that I can't resolve alone, and the person that could help me isn't around), but my general well-being has regressed. Just over five years ago, I had barely a care in the world. I was so deeply in love that every day was a delight. We lived in a tiny little apartment, but it didn't matter. I would skip uni for weeks just to stay with her, and we would roam around and find things to do during the day, and get wasted on cheap alcohol during the night. On my days off now, I usually end up buying a bottle of vodka and get drunk alone.

I always tried to be decent and kind and loving, and people always tell me as much, but I got royally fucked over and it messed me up. Now, more than ever, I realise that life is pretty darn hard, and no matter how hard you work at it, or how much you think you know somebody, nothing is ever certain. The things I've been through have made me stronger, but they've also made me sad. If people need me, then I'm there for them, but it doesn't seem like anybody is there for me. As somebody who struggles to find a purpose without companionship, that's kind of soul-destroying. Five years ago I thought my life was going in the right direction, now I feel like it's going in no direction.

Sorry to be a downer.

Writing my version of it in the condition of being one of the younger members of this community, so do not expect HIGH happenings, but still...

...Ten years ago, I was a boy of ten, and discovered the miracle of broadband internet. You know, that one that are 100 times faster than the dial-up connection and my parents wouldn't mind having us using it daily because, opposing to the internet via phone, we wouldn't be charged per minute of use, or something like that. I discovered Youtube and just got thrilled by the idea of watching my fav songs anytime and stuff. Got my first experiences with online friends in a Sonic-related Orkut community (equivalent of Facebook pages but with the same functionality of a discussion forum, with threads and everything) which obviously was TERRIBLE because I was a kid and, obviously, it'd be super hard to get along with the other dudes which generally were much more older but none of them were nothing but great Sonic fans just like me so never too serious's happened lol. My best friend at the time (and NOWADAYS) is a dude called Patrick which, in Portuguese, sounds like "Pah-Tree-Ck", you know?? Also, a big fan of Sonic and turns out he's one of the VERY few people in the world I know in person which shares the same taste about it. If there's one reason why our bond was also SO strong and easy is because he never cared too much about appearances and "coolness" and at the time I was such an introvert ant. His creativity always fascinated me and he was always an AWESOME storyteller and we can chat about anything and we extract something interest, a philosophy about it. He's in a far city right now and we don't converse as often as we used to do in the past but he's definitely got a special place in my heart and he's a solid reminder that I'm not alone in this world, after all. Oh, and we programmed some RPG maker games too and I think it's a memento of our strong friendship, haha. I still play it these days, it's just surprising how it is compatible with the most modern PCs.

Five years ago (when I was 13-14) I was spending all my energies on an art class I've signed in. The kind of art we prioritized was the manga and as you can imagine, the whole classroom was always filled with aficionados for the eastern culture and, because it was a circle of people of different ages and totally unrelated to school, they were somewhat more easy to have conversations with and I wouldn't need to fear being judged or bullied, even though it wouldn't normally happen in my life. I went to anime/game conventions with the $10 my parents would proudly give me and that would only make me able to buy some sushi or a small souvenir, like a ramen-eating Naruto or similar, but I didn't care too much, it was always about having a quality time with some known and unknown non-judgmental human beings and the simple act of walking and talking with them would be enough to make me feel like the happiest guy in the planet, tasting an emerging feeling of freedom and independence, pretty much finding myself in the world, really. I still remember one day when I was coming home, 11nd of May of 2012, on a rainy evening, with a newcomer boy which was prolly just a little bit older than me. I think that was the very first time I fell for somebody in my entire life, even though everything's happened so quickly. Something about the way he would talk about his life and would ask me questions with REAL interest on the whole thing (a rare thing back then) made me think about him for a long time. He's felt the same thing because it didn't take too long and we started to play games together and just help ourselves with our teen struggles, etc. One of these days, he asked me if I was bi/homosexual because of the group of people I'd hang out with and go to the cons and I just answered him with a "no" because I didn't have a certain answer for it at the time, or I didn't want to share it with everyone for one reason or another. I regret it so much ahhaha I don't know... what if we happened to get together or something? If I had a time machine, obviously I'd try to make it work but, come on, this is a giant world.

I seriously believe the best life's got to offer for me is sooner or later coming, whatever are the causes. I'm regularly called up to work on a pharmacy my dad used to be a staffer of years ago, and with it I win enough cash to pay my part of the bills and part of it I can buy for my own amusement. But, still, I also seriously think I am pretty much living the worst times of my life... so far. It's been YEARS since I kept in touch with my high school friends (even Patrick) and I've been letting myself down because I did cast reading and some other healthy hobbies aside to give place to some mundane things, but it's changing. Also, a terrible thing has happened quite recently, like 24 hours ago: I've had to say goodbye to a good online friendship that I cultivated for almost, ALMOST one year. One of the best friends I've ever had, my brother (not by blood) and the responsible for my fulfillment over the last months so now I just feel empty and a bit hopeless. I wonder if it wouldn't be better to have him by my side (even in the condition I was) rather than losing him forever. I'm not sure of anything now and it's still hard to know if I made the right decision. That person was my salvation but, in the end, demanded so much of my emotional energies that it sucked me dry instead and made me to lose a bit of my capacity of FEELING some stuff, you know? Hoping it's just temporary because I know that, in the past, I was just happy and independent and productive in a moment when he was just a stranger and now a recovery is necessary. I have absolutely nothing and the only thing that can give me hope again is the perspective of having a place to learn and meet some new people. Well, like a college. I've been feeling very lonesome, not as in "solitude", but just empty, clueless about what to do next. Art helps a little but, now, it's hard not to associate my production with my former friend because EVERYTHING I've done since last year had him as an inspiration, even if unconsciously. Got no courage of just calling my old friends out of the blue so, instead, I'll just strive for a new life, because I scarcely think it's even commenced.

10 years ago I had no aspirations and had recently left school. Relationship was shaky. Started College, starting to drive.

5 years ago. Got a degree, became a teacher, secured full-time employment, new partner, first holiday in nearly 10 years, can drive.

Today. New job, buying a house, visited 20+ countries.

I’m always thinking about the past me, sometimes I get so nostalgic and think about how I miss the past me because somethings were way better, but of course some things now are better too.

10 years ago I was 12 in my first year of high school and had a group of friends of about three sometimes four or five. But there were three of us who were tight although the other two were always fighting and I would be in the middle of things. I was (still am) pretty awkward and quiet and my friends were very outgoing which is why I was in the middle of their fights. My best friend got a boyfriend at one stage and suddenly completely shut us all out to spend time with him and I remember being so upset. I always hated PE because I would make a fool of myself and I would feel so sick about going to school on those days.

5 years ago was my last year of high school. My friendship group had changed completely. One of my friends and also my best friend from before had shut me out and I had no idea why. One of her friends told me he knew why and he understood why she did it but I had no clue so I was so confused and hurt. Somewhere in between I had moved up to a gifted program so maybe she was upset because we weren’t in classes together but I’ll never know. I had a new friendship group though which was fine and also year 12 was awesome because we were the oldest and we had a common room with microwaves and kettles lol so cool.

Later that year and early the next year so like 4 and a half years ago I was really lonely. I was already insecure about friendships because I never had much luck with them and after high school, I never talked to anyone again. I got probably what was social anxiety after reaching out but not getting much in return so I kind of just went into a shell and was so so lonely especially since I had quit here at the same time as finishing school. Looking back now my emotions back then were a little out of wack and I wonder if it was the start of my body trying to say ‘something’s not right’ haha because a few months later, this time 4 years ago I found out I actually have a heart condition.

Now that’s the biggest thing in my life and takes up my time. Definitely not something I would see myself doing at 22. It kind of secretly stresses me out although everyone thinks I’m so chill. But since finding that out I’m a lot more relaxed. Still quiet and shy and awkward but not depressed about my lack of friends and since then I got a retail job which has made me so much more confident. I completed university although I didnt know and still dont know what I want to do with my degree. I still don’t have any friends lol but because I’m working I’m socialising so it’s kinda ok.

So yeah the biggest changes have been my health and relationships. And that’s enough sharing haha.

well i've had bigger changes in my life the past year than the past 5-10 years

10 years ago I was battling everyday with different mental illnesses and family problems

same concept 5 years before. easier in some ways harder in others.

it's only the past year ive improved my life and people have said ive really come out of my shell. ive battled anxiety (and social anxiety) for over 10 years now and I finally have accepted I am who I am and I may not fit in in some ways but i'm fine just as I am. I have lots of good qualities and can't compare myself to other people. I've chilled about my life and where it's going, just taking it how it comes. i'm in a new job with better opportunities that gives me more free time. before i'd just sleep and work, sleep and work, now I have better routines, eat better, have the motivation to clean up after myself.

my self esteem is really good now too, I had problems with body dysmorphia in the past and just general low self esteem. I have someone wonderful who compliments me every day, not just on my looks/body but me as a person and he motivates and encourages me every day.

@Neversoft; I hope things get better for you! Last year I felt the same, that there was no purpose in my life and I was going nowhere but I've made changes to my life and i'm feeling a lot happier. if you ever wanna talk feel free to hit me up.

Hands down the most interesting thread of this subforum in years - And what a good timing! Considering the stuff I'm struggling with. So cliche, saying that I'm relieved seeing other people've been there, even when we are not necessarily talking about ROMANTIC issues.

Ok cool yeah you've all really faced up to my challenge so I'm prepared to share a bit more now as well.

Right 10 years ago I was boringly young so let's not even bother talking about that.

Five years ago like I said I was pretty much living on Habbox. Like 2013 was a shit year for me (most years were up until the end of 2016 onwards really) as I had very few friends. That was around a time where I'd managed to make myself 3 really great friends and we were like a fierce group of 4 until one of them did some really horrible shit to me that I still struggle to talk about today and then dumped me and turned the other two against me now. Like I still think about what happened back then sometimes and have to physically cringe away from my own thoughts, it's horrible.

But anyway yeah because I suddenly had 0 real life friends I turned completely to Habbo and Habbox, spent all the time I possibly could online, wouldn't talk to anyone outside of the house and basically never left my room except to go to school when I was forced to. My attendance was at something like 65% because I'd skive so much to come home and piss about on Habbo all day. I remember a few times Cerys and I actually made pacts to skip school the next day together. Also Intersocial and I used to stay up until literally 4 or 5 in the morning most nights (sometimes he wasn't around but I would still stay up) and I'd then get up at 6:45am for school the next day and be a total zombie... was such a dark time in hindsight but at the time I thought staying up that late was the coolest lol.

So spent all my time online and totally used Habbo/x as a social crutch to compensate for my lack of social interaction elsewhere. In one sense I'm so glad I had Habbo because it's better than being completely alone but I wonder if I would've gotten to a point where I'd forced myself back into the real world if I hadn't had the Hotel to hide behind... Also because I used the internet as my only means of talking to people it meant I experienced literally EVERYTHING online so I was actually really nasty sometimes just because I needed an outlet. But obviously that wasn't fair of me and I treated some people, even if they were only in passing and I was mean to them out of the blue for an hour, really badly and I wish I hadn't.

Oh well, anyway onto 2018:
Like I said I'm working and I'm actually happy now. 2017 was a really rocky year for me in terms of family members like dying and I started uni, had a smallish breakdown and then subsequently dropped out of uni. But also it's hands down the happiest year (other than 2018 which has been a million times better and I'm super psyched for 2019) despite all that so that's really nice.

I think for the first time in my life I've gotten to a place where I've realised that I'm way far from perfect but I actually love that about myself. I certainly still have ups and downs but I don't have to hide behind anything (e.g. the internet) anymore, I'm happy just being myself and working to make myself laugh. I wonder if sooner or later I'm gonna have to start pushing myself in terms of career and stuff but for now I know I need to enjoy myself for a while and not worry.

In short, life is way better now than it was five years ago. But regardless I wouldn't change all those years I wasted on Habbo/x for the world - I definitely wouldn't be who I am now if I hadn't had to grow out of being that socially anxious overweight awkward young teenager with no friends.

OH ALSO quick addition I love all your stories, thanks so much for taking this so seriously wtf everyone!!!
And @Neversoft; I know you don't know me at all but that royally sucks for you and it's always awful to see a fellow HxFer who's sad. Same as Jen, if you ever wanna scream at someone who's far removed from your situation and won't judge, I'm pretty good at stuff like that. No pressure though.

Okay this is a wonderful thread full of ups and downs and I hope everyone who’s currently down that things get better for you soon x


10 years ago I was 14 and hadn’t discovered Habbox yet. I’d only just moved over to New Zealand from the UK so I was mainly adjusting to my new life and all the different culture/slang/schedules etc. I had a few friends I’d clutched onto for support but most of those I wasn’t friends with the year after. I’d always been a quiet person but moving to NZ and getting used to a new culture was definitely the catalyst for me and my social anxiety. It was a weird year of my life and not one I really like to look back on.


5 years ago I was 19 and in my first year of University. Another weird year but not in a bad way, just more and more adjusting to new things. I had one best friend from high school and several other acquaintances like my flat mates, best friends flat mates, people in my classes etc. I also met my current boyfriend and we started dating in December that year.


The year after my best friend flipped out and turned all my other friends against me and screwed me over for my flat bond etc so my social anxiety got the worst it’s ever been.


Now I’m still struggling with my social anxiety so don’t have a huge amount of friends but I’m actually the happiest I’ve been in a long long while. My boyfriend and family are awesome and lovely, I finished Uni a while ago with a first, and landed myself a great job in my field which I’ve been doing for well over a year now.

Basically Habbox has been a great distraction throughout the years for some of my struggles, providing some sort of normality and friendship, so thanks for being there guys!

I loved reading these, very interesting!

I would say 10 years ago I was very happy in a wonderful school which I never wanted to leave, but at the same time I was quite shy and unsure of myself so feel that back then I didn't really be who I really am. If that makes sense? Back then I was more into games, like Habbo, but still went out a lot with friends - the same friends I go out with to this day every week - so yeah my main issue back then was I was living in my little high school bubble I guess and not making the most of life.

5 years ago I was in university, which I hated given where I was, but made great mates who I still see every few months and we go on holidays together. I think university, where I was depressed for almost 3 years, did make me mentally stronger and I also came out of my shell more. So in that regard, in addition to the degree, it for sure made me grow as a person so I guess the pain was worth the gain.

Today I am doing things I never thought I would do, such as travelling to faraway countries, and moving to another country soon to begin a career that I have wanted to do since the age of 12 when my favourite teacher inspired me. I have like zero interest in games now, and I am far more health conscious/sporty than ever which I really want to step up when I move to Spain. I'm also at peace pretty much now with my sexuality which was a major issue for me since the age of like 16. I also appreciate my family more than ever, especially grandparents who I have made much more of an effort with in the past two years. And my major belief/passion in life I won two years ago with the referendum in 2016, and is coming true, so I feel much more relaxed these days and content with that coming to a close.

I also stand up for myself more now, not that I never did - I always argued my corner if something was wrong - but I always felt that to be nice I had to give way to people and prioritise them and what they wanted at the expense of my wants, whereas this year I have put myself first a bit more and what I want. In addition, I would consider dating - possibly. But i'll have to see.

I'm a sucker for nostalgia so I always said my best moment in life was when I was age 15 to 16 (years 10+11) but you know when I think about it now and what i've done in the last like two years I actually think life is better now. And that's something I never thought I would say!

So yeah I feel at a crossroads at the moment with a big change coming but that its the right time for a new stage if you get me.

These are genuinely fascinating to read keep posting them people!! I'll post my own once I can figure out what I was actually doing five years ago I can barely remember :')

10 years ago I was living with my ex boyfriend. We owned a takeaway restaurant together and lived above it. We'd been together since high school and we loved each other very much. We were brilliant together and I have some great memories from the relationship... I ended it after I decided to go to university. I thought we'd be fine long distance but I admit, I enjoyed the new attention from other men and I was intrigued by this new, care-free life... I really regret ending it. I was stupid and caught up with the party lifestyle. He was a very loyal man and I broke his heart.

Unfortunately, I soon ended up in an abusive relationship with a DJ i met. I hit rock bottom with him. The guy hurt me physically and mentality. After 2 years of being stuck and too scared to talk to anyone, my debt was really building up and I was close to getting court orders. I had no friends, because DJ isolated me. I finally found courage and opened up to my parents (with lots and lots of tears!) and they saved me. I got a new job in a new city and my parents paid the rent for a flat there while I caught up with my debt and tried to manage my social anxiety caused by the awful relationship. I nearly got back with Mr loyal but he ended up getting engaged when he went travelling in Thailand, so we ceased contact. I was happy he was happy.

But it was all up from there! Following my move to the new city, I was finally financially stable again and I had acquired an amazing network of friends!! My career was going really well and I started dating a lovely man. After 2 years we had a baby and bought a house together. We're now trying for our second child and buying our second house.

So within 10 years I have done a 360 really. I got lost somewhere in the middle but I've found my way and my experiences have given me a positive, can-do attitude. I now know how important it is to have a good network of people around you, for those times in need. I make better decisions, because I've made bad ones in the past.

If you want change, make it happen. If you're having a rough time, use your experience to make yourself a better person.

Love to you all and especially to those who are not feeling too good. Reach out if you need to xxxxxxx

10 years ago was OK I guess, didn't really like school much until year 10/11 but it was passable. I think it was around now, maybe a few months yet actually where I stopped using Habbo/x so much and flipped it out with Call of Duty which was absolutely excessive in retrospect, but at least 80% of the time I was playing with irl peeps so I guess that's a sort of positive. I preferred the later years where I would go out a bit more and not be so addicted to one thing. Wasn't until 2012 Minecraft server days where I really got into Habbox I guess, thanks 2012 hxss. Didn't really like college all that much for a whole host of reasons and I wish I could say I took something from it, but I really didn't. Just felt like I pissed away 2 years.

Which brings me to 5 years ago in 2013. Too much Habbo and was the start of decline into 2014 where I was probably at my worst in just about every respect. But The Last of Us was a cool game, so there's that I guess. Oh actually from like turning 18 to around the end of September was flipping rad.

Now, after going to uni again and not dropping out and turning into a complete wreck, I'm definitely better all in all. Met some very interesting people (for better or worse) along the way, some of which I think will basically be friends for life, others who I somewhat wish I still spoke to frequently but life goes on and in some cases extended some kind of olive branch (is that the phrase?) didn't really work, and others who I hope to never bump into again because they were frankly rude and phony (mostly students involved in student politics). Started exercising frequently (until it became a bit murky when 1st job came into play, but sorting that shit now yo), learning things in my leisure as oppose to completely pissing time away, actually sort of keeping in contact with people a bit better rather than letting it hang for months, think I somewhat managed to improve my "fashion sense" even if it still is a bit shit which it is, but less so. My local peak was probably late 2016/early 2017 before making some poor financial choices which possibly lead me into a job I didn't really want but really kind of needed the cash and I do kind of wish I took a different job I was offered, but hey hum. My current job is much better, literally got paid to play table tennis yesterday so that's always good and is just a more pleasant place to work, and also no getting up at 5:40 odd which is great.

my only true regret in life is not asking this girl why i was supposed to remember her

it's interesting to read all of these and just compare and see how different people basically are, even just looking at the typing style
idk I think I can just forget how different people are
also weird to think of the people who probably would have posted in this thread as little as 1 year ago, lip to the fallen

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Zak

10 years ago I had no aspirations and had recently left school. Relationship was shaky. Started College, starting to drive.

5 years ago. Got a degree, became a teacher, secured full-time employment, new partner, first holiday in nearly 10 years, can drive.

Today. New job, buying a house, visited 20+ countries.

---

wow, goals.

as for me, boring. 10 years ago, SSDD. (same shit, different day)
5 years ago, SSSDSD. (same super shit, different shitty day)
LOL

seriously, 10 years ago I thought I had it all. Husband, kids, beautiful life. It will all spiral down if you have a spouse who is addicted to gambling and women. Your finances will drain and your life will be hell.
But this is my year and I will make it better. This is Year 1 for me, to changes and a new life.

10 years ago I never went out. Left school and was on the computer 24/7 (mostly gaming and on here) Got diagnosed with agoraphobia (already had anxiety and depression) Was taking drugs too

5 years same crap, more drugs. Few overdoses and ambulances between years 10 and 5. Didn't really give a crap about my life so spent more days high than sober. Stims my main DOC so my heart hated me for that one. Psychosis from spending sometimes over a week without sleep didn't do my mind much good either (I'm proper scared of the dark because of the shadow people)

5-Present - drug use calmed down after my last hospital visit a couple of years ago. Go out most days (walking) but only because I have to go to my local chemist to pick up my bupe prescription for opiate addiction. Funny really how the thing that most likely held me back ended up getting me out of the house. Anyway just alcohol and my subs for the past 7 months now so I guess my life has improved compared to the past 10+ years. Life still sucks though

I wasn't gonna post this because I hate personal shit but tbh it's nice to type it out and realise how much I have actually improved
plus this bottle of wine helped too [emoji485]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SeptemberNum

wow, goals.

as for me, boring. 10 years ago, SSDD. (same shit, different day)
5 years ago, SSSDSD. (same super shit, different shitty day)
LOL

seriously, 10 years ago I thought I had it all. Husband, kids, beautiful life. It will all spiral down if you have a spouse who is addicted to gambling and women. Your finances will drain and your life will be hell.
But this is my year and I will make it better. This is Year 1 for me, to changes and a new life.

---

To be fair, I'm a completely different person. I've achieved more in five years than I ever thought I could. I rarely drink, I don't smoke and I don't gamble. A womanizer, I wish :P haha

Life will get better, I've been through some rough times. My childhood was a mess but there's always light at the end of the tunnel. Never give up. :)

wow these posts are so interesting! I'll contribute..

10 years ago: I was a naive 11 year old just about to start high school. I thought I had the bestest friends in the world but they were just normal people in hindsight. I was obsessed with Disney and i was very much care-free! I was not too fussed on the future or did not have the intelligence to realise there was better life beyond being 11.

5 years ago: I was about to start sixth form (year 12) and had chosen my options, i was thinking about university and life beyond school and i thought i was happy. I was actually in the 3rd year of a very toxic relationship with a guy that did not deserve my time - it lasted 5 years -. I was still friends with those 'bestests' and had gained more along the way, there was a big group of us.

Now: I am no longer with said boyfriend, i am no longer friends with said friends. I have just finished 3 amazing years at university with some amazing people. I've discovered my passion for singing and musical theatre. I struggle with my mental health sometimes because of past insecurities and genetics (family full of anxious people) but i would not change it for the world - it helps me live life to the full. I am about to start an MA in a course I LOVE and am excited for the future. I am actually happy (and still obsessed with Disney: seeing incredibles 2 now eek)

Let's do an inside-out derivative of this thread, comparing us to ourselves 05 and 10 years... in the FUTURE. Technically a cyberprophecy.

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Originally Posted by scottish

Oh also, I've always been very self conscious about pictures of myself so straight up refused to have any pictures taken of me and I would hide from pictures lmfao where as now I'm happy to sit for a picture and couldn't care less when people take them.

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Also just to add..

I think pretty much everyone I speak to online has seen me now, and some people even get blessed with like 20 selfies a day

So even in the last month that's changed a lot as only like 3 people had seen me?

This is such an interesting read.

10 years ago; I was 14, thought I had a solid group of 7 friends, but I never left the house and the friendships all went downhill for a variety of reasons. Suffered from anxiety and depression, did some stupid shit had about 4 boyfriends all called Jonathan, didn’t like any of them. Used habbo as a way of ‘making friends’

5 years ago; I’d have been 19, in university. Would have come out to my parents, got into a fairly unpleasant relationship for three years. I’d probably have stopped playing habbo between A Levels and 1st year of uni, but I started playing again as a way of keeping in contact with a real life person... who I lived with. Kind of curled up into my own little world, didn’t go out much, hated uni, hated my job. Still suffered from a string of mental illnesses but didn’t get any help. Wasn’t a great time to be honest.

Present; Engaged to a beautiful woman, who brings me out of my shell and encourages me to better myself. We have two little kittens and live in a bungalow; it’s a true lesbian family, which makes me hella happy. Still in a dead end job, but starting my masters in September, with job prospects lined up already afterwards. My whole family knows about me being gay now, including my grandparents, who I was really scared to tell about it, but everyone has been really supportive!

Two years ago, I was in a dark place, but luckily I’ve come out of the other side with a new lease of life, where I aim to enjoy instead of limit myself. In all honesty, I’m proud of myself. It’s cringe af, but that’s where I’m at

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Originally Posted by Alysha

This is such an interesting read.

10 years ago; I was 14, thought I had a solid group of 7 friends, but I never left the house and the friendships all went downhill for a variety of reasons. Suffered from anxiety and depression, did some stupid shit had about 4 boyfriends all called Jonathan, didn’t like any of them. Used habbo as a way of ‘making friends’

5 years ago; I’d have been 19, in university. Would have come out to my parents, got into a fairly unpleasant relationship for three years. I’d probably have stopped playing habbo between A Levels and 1st year of uni, but I started playing again as a way of keeping in contact with a real life person... who I lived with. Kind of curled up into my own little world, didn’t go out much, hated uni, hated my job. Still suffered from a string of mental illnesses but didn’t get any help. Wasn’t a great time to be honest.

Present; Engaged to a beautiful woman, who brings me out of my shell and encourages me to better myself. We have two little kittens and live in a bungalow; it’s a true lesbian family, which makes me hella happy. Still in a dead end job, but starting my masters in September, with job prospects lined up already afterwards. My whole family knows about me being gay now, including my grandparents, who I was really scared to tell about it, but everyone has been really supportive!

Two years ago, I was in a dark place, but luckily I’ve come out of the other side with a new lease of life, where I aim to enjoy instead of limit myself. In all honesty, I’m proud of myself. It’s cringe af, but that’s where I’m at

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what you off to study

I'm a much better person in myself now, I'd say - in comparison to what I was five years ago. A lot has changed over the last five years of my existence.

Five years ago I was working as a barmaid, waitress and child softplay supervisor at a pub local to me, I was working shifts of 9am - 1am the following morning, I was the skinniest I'd ever been and was passing out left right and centre.

Four years ago, I had got a job in a Foreign Currency Exchange Bureau. I was part time and bored out of my mind. I was earning about £750 a month (I have no idea how I survived, we live within our means I guess).

Three years ago, I'd moved to Foreign Currency, Payday loans, Pawnbroking etc. Kinda like a Cash Converter. It was completely corrupt - I worked in a branch on my own five days a week, bored out of my mind. My salary jumped to 14.5k p/a

Two years ago I moved into Property Management Accounting, I was an assistant and did year end service charge accounts only.

One year ago, I'd become a Service Charge Accountant in London. My salary a fresh 28k. It was extremely stressful as the only competent account person trying to deal with everything from year end accounts to posting and paying invoices, etc.

February this year, I moved jobs to five minutes from where I live, I learned to drive a few months beforehand. I'm now an accounts manager.

Over the five years, I have moved out with a partner, moved back home - been in another relationship, and ended that one not too long ago for how clingy he was. I mean, he was perfect on paper. Roses all the time (even after we broke up, delivered to work)... but he just didn't do it for me.

I bought a DSLR, have just purchased a new computer capable of coping with Lightroom and Photoshop - with plans of doing photography in my spare time for some extra cash.

> IT ALL STARTED WHEN INTERSOCIAL WAS MEAN TO ME IN THE HELP DESK..

Me, mean? Never. @Empired;

Don't think I could explain the past five years of development without turning this into an essay, but certainly the last year of my life has been a series of constant person changes - particularly these past three/four months. University tanked for me in the first year because I ended up with so many emotional problems & genuine alcoholism, and I inevitably failed two modules (one of them because I just didn't go to the exams...) but refused to quit uni because y'know...stubborn and don't like quitting. So I lamentably powered through my resits and I'm 99% confident I passed, but besides that the whole education side of things I spent a lot of time working on the mental health aspect of my life this Summer (some with a therapist) and I honestly find it incredible the person I am now compared to merely 6 months ago. Managed to overcome so many dark thoughts, so many insecurities with my friendships, so much self-critique and doubt, so many mood issues, and honestly I look at myself now and I'm floored at how I overcame so many deep-rooted issues in such a short space of time. There's still work to go, but it's incredible that I no longer spend so much time ruminating over how other people perceive me and quaint stuff like omg do my friends even like me.

I am more at ease socially than I was before. I now a lot eat better than I used to (still far to go!) and seem to be on a path towards vegetarianism, whilst also baking & cooking more in general. I actually make an effort to try and look decent now and actually bother to iron clothes now (pretty much no-one irons here at uni unless it's a smart shirt). I'm looking to start volunteering soon and will probably try to take up some kind of sport as I have an odd yearning to do so. Astonishingly I now have some vague interest in football which was never to be expected in my life, and half-try to follow it (though Bundesliga not EPL). Even smaller things like my music taste have changed quite oddly... I now seem way more interested in trance and house music than anything else. I'm starting to read more again and will try to get through some classical literature... after I get through the other 40 books I have been meaning to read...

Anyway, even comparing myself to like 6 months ago I am astonished at the person I am right now. P.S. if you're reading this go watch BoJack Horseman on Netflix cause it's an incredibly poignant show and hit me with some harsh truths about myself tbh. Right now I am positive I'm the best version of myself that there's ever been, and whilst I do still have some setbacks and many things to improve, I'm proud.

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Originally Posted by dbgtz

what you off to study

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Law. With an undergrad in film and tv it should be interesting, but I’ve already put loads of work in and I’m not giving up so easily this time

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Originally Posted by Intersocial

> IT ALL STARTED WHEN INTERSOCIAL WAS MEAN TO ME IN THE HELP DESK..

Me, mean? Never. @Empired;

Don't think I could explain the past five years of development without turning this into an essay, but certainly the last year of my life has been a series of constant person changes - particularly these past three/four months. University tanked for me in the first year because I ended up with so many emotional problems & genuine alcoholism, and I inevitably failed two modules (one of them because I just didn't go to the exams...) but refused to quit uni because y'know...stubborn and don't like quitting. So I lamentably powered through my resits and I'm 99% confident I passed, but besides that the whole education side of things I spent a lot of time working on the mental health aspect of my life this Summer (some with a therapist) and I honestly find it incredible the person I am now compared to merely 6 months ago. Managed to overcome so many dark thoughts, so many insecurities with my friendships, so much self-critique and doubt, so many mood issues, and honestly I look at myself now and I'm floored at how I overcame so many deep-rooted issues in such a short space of time. There's still work to go, but it's incredible that I no longer spend so much time ruminating over how other people perceive me and quaint stuff like omg do my friends even like me.

I am more at ease socially than I was before. I now a lot eat better than I used to (still far to go!) and seem to be on a path towards vegetarianism, whilst also baking & cooking more in general. I actually make an effort to try and look decent now and actually bother to iron clothes now (pretty much no-one irons here at uni unless it's a smart shirt). I'm looking to start volunteering soon and will probably try to take up some kind of sport as I have an odd yearning to do so. Astonishingly I now have some vague interest in football which was never to be expected in my life, and half-try to follow it (though Bundesliga not EPL). Even smaller things like my music taste have changed quite oddly... I now seem way more interested in trance and house music than anything else. I'm starting to read more again and will try to get through some classical literature... after I get through the other 40 books I have been meaning to read...

Anyway, even comparing myself to like 6 months ago I am astonished at the person I am right now. P.S. if you're reading this go watch BoJack Horseman on Netflix cause it's an incredibly poignant show and hit me with some harsh truths about myself tbh. Right now I am positive I'm the best version of myself that there's ever been, and whilst I do still have some setbacks and many things to improve, I'm proud.

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nice to hear it's all going ok
also +1 for bojack

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Originally Posted by Alysha

Law. With an undergrad in film and tv it should be interesting, but I’ve already put loads of work in and I’m not giving up so easily this time

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interesting switch, any interesting story to that or just found it and liked it?
good luck with it all anyway, I'm not sure what the scene is like where you want to be based (presumably Wales) but judging by my brothers girlfriends days it seems like very hard work
good money though, only 29 and already solely outright owns a 4 bed detached house in south east england which is mad but maybe it varies depending on the type idk

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Originally Posted by dbgtz

interesting switch, any interesting story to that or just found it and liked it?
good luck with it all anyway, I'm not sure what the scene is like where you want to be based (presumably Wales) but judging by my brothers girlfriends days it seems like very hard work
good money though, only 29 and already solely outright owns a 4 bed detached house in south east england which is mad but maybe it varies depending on the type idk

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Uh, I guess I just did a lot of work experience based in civil law, which is probably the boring side to most people, but I really enjoyed it. It was just something to keep my brain ticking after all the mundane, gossip riddem retail work I've done for so long. The job offer is in South Wales, doing conveyancing, but I'll more than likely end up in the midlands, so hopefully I can find something there. I don't particularly want to be the person in the courtroom, just behind the scenes type stuff.
That's insane though. If I can achieve anything near that by the time I'm 30, I'll be happy.

Any plans for the future for yourself kiddo?

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Originally Posted by Alysha

Uh, I guess I just did a lot of work experience based in civil law, which is probably the boring side to most people, but I really enjoyed it. It was just something to keep my brain ticking after all the mundane, gossip riddem retail work I've done for so long. The job offer is in South Wales, doing conveyancing, but I'll more than likely end up in the midlands, so hopefully I can find something there. I don't particularly want to be the person in the courtroom, just behind the scenes type stuff.
That's insane though. If I can achieve anything near that by the time I'm 30, I'll be happy.

Any plans for the future for yourself kiddo?

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That sounds like a solid plan

None for me really, don't think that far ahead. My current plan extends as far as staying in my current job until the end of the year. I think once I hit a years experience I'll be able to look for hopefully better and higher ££ jobs though it's all probably going to require me doing a bit more in my free time as I don't think my current job is going to give me a wide array of experience. Nothing concrete though
or maybe I'll just with the euromillions and never bother working again

well years ago like between 2007-2012 I was an outcast a loner, shy, easy target and a victim to bullying. Life was really bad like I did not get along with anyone and my bff had moved to a more popular type school. I didn't get along with anyone including my own family, I was very close to commiting suicide and cutting behind my toes with a knife then my hands etc and bleed to death.

Then in 2011 things started to slowly change a girl in my class somehow knew I needed people and found me a secure group of friends. People would associate them as the anime freaks and musical nerds which in reality their great people. I would start by just listening and slowly things progressed I started talking (badly at times ofc) but despite not having anything in common with them we actually bonded well.

Then In 2012 I knew it was the last year of high school which means it was the perfect time to experiment. I started off by having 7 crushes at once I figured if anything were to suddenly happen I would at least have 6 others to look at. I also broke out of my shell and spoke to one of them (even though they didn't pay attention) I learnt to channel all my emotions and thoughts into drawings I graffiti'd in my diary and all. My aunt became someone who I could also go to for things over the phone and discuss but it was hardly needed and all. Anyways I started to suddenly become this new and powerful person I didn't even realise.

This is how I became powerful for example a year later at university I got targeted as a victim of bullying again but I played it smart. They hid all my items around the room and used their dirty feet to drag my bag to the next row (I could tell they wanted me to move, but I didn't) I then gave a look to the teacher who saw it. I wrote an email to the course leader in a court case form. I named the witness, what happened, the bully etc. and within weeks the bully was kicked out of the course and didn't graduate like I did.
Also I was diagnosed with autism which like epilepsy I've had my entire life, the woman who diagnosed me told me straight out that I should give up my dream job and work behind the scenes for good. I decided to use the diagnosis in a new way I got a note taker in uni to take my notes after, I decided to try new things like studying part time and working my way up like in Australia we have Centrelink so I get $900 per fortnight for 8 hours of work per week of volunteering.

As for now I've learnt to embrace the new me, help others like myself and others with special needs and become like an inspiration to all people who are brave enough to come to me on habbo for help and solve their issues for them within minutes. As for people I no longer care what they think of me if they hate me that is their problem (like my dad's side of the family) they just have to suck It up as I will forever be myself.