am i bi? AdvicE?

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22-09-2005, 10:43 PM
blah blah blah

am i bi? AdvicE?

ok well heres how it happened: i have a good friend whos best friends with the person i find attractive and so everytime i hang out with my good friend the person will come along aswell which i find is great cause it gives me a chance to figure out how i feel about her. sometimes this person would lead me on and i would think it was just something else apart from flirting (like just looking into eachothers eyes) so i hang in there to try n see how she feels aswell.

well im not getting anywhere, and i dont think i should try and experiment cause she might not feel the same way. and since ive never told any one that i wasnt sure if i was bi or not i dunno what to do. if i did try and experiment and then she goes n tells all my friends thats the end on my rep at school. and its sad to say but my school dosent take kindly to bi or lesbians.

info:
i go to an all girls school.
only girls in this story.
i am a very shy and confused girl. AdvicE?
22-09-2005, 10:50 PM
Ellis.

Hmmm, in my view, it's very normal for adolescent boys and girls to feel an attraction between the same gender at the start of puberty. During puberty you go through mixed emotions, like if you start to have a small crush on a person with the same gender, you start thinking and worrying that you're gay/lesbian/bi. It's normal actually, but as time goes on, you'll know whether if you're gay/lesbian/bi. If your friend would go around gossipping about you and making fun of you that you're bi, what kind of friend would she be? Many other people go through your problem everyday, so it's normal. Just don't worry about it, if I were in your position, I'd try my best to act normal around your best friend's friend, but overall, just try to be yourself xP
22-09-2005, 11:26 PM
GommeInc

Judging from what you say, if you look into each other eyes alot not just a "Oh shes looking at me, she must be listening", then there is a possibility there is a connection. But some Social interactions, like chatting can be flirty, depending ob what you are talking about, something like a male and female teacher are chatting and you joke that they are in love so you do impressions which turn out flirty and give off some strange signals.

Try and hang around her on your own, be friends with her as yourself and go on from there, try to make sure your other friend is doing something, keep each other entertained :)
23-09-2005, 01:03 AM
Arcanum

It's really normal for teens going through puberty to feel different emotions for people of any sex. You have to question yourself and ask if you like her because she understands you/relats/listens to you, or if you feel there is an emotional and/or physical attraction. If you feel like you want to take things further, don't just jump right into it. Not being the socially acceptable sexuality is very hard, especially since people discriminate against things they're afraid of or are ignorant about. Like these other guys have said, spend more time with her, if you feel the moment is right to make a move/ask a question then do so, only your gut instinct will serve you best, and it's all you've got to basically make a decision.

There's also the possibility that because you go to an all girls' school you are just confused because girls are all you ever really see. I'd try meeting up with her outside of school where you have both sexes around you... if you still feel the same way then you may possibly be bisexual or gay. It depends what feelings are left for males :)

Good luck ;)
23-09-2005, 01:34 AM
le harry

Well, Are there any bis/lesbians at your school at the moment?
23-09-2005, 01:39 AM
blah blah blah

continued

its hard to keep in contact with her because i dont want to say the wrong thing, we've become good m8s but she still dosent kno how i feel because i havent told her. and if i did that would split me up with my other friends. because she is 1 year older then me, and has her own group and i have my own group of friends. my group and her group are the worst of enemies. and if we were in the battlefield if you know what im sayn, i would have to choose a side, last time i chose her side and all my friends got really angry at me and 1 of my friends asked if i liked her. i denied of course cause im still not sure. but i was wondering if i choose my friends side it would make my friendship with her less. and i would still be wondering how i felt.

Btw: thanks for your help you guys
23-09-2005, 01:56 AM
le harry

I repeat my question - Are there any Bi's/Lesbians at your school?
23-09-2005, 01:59 AM
blah blah blah

rumours

well i have heard rumours of some people bein lesbians but i dont think they are. cause everyone would treat them badly no one would ever open up
23-09-2005, 03:40 AM
Arcanum

Quote:

Originally Posted by blah blah blah

well i have heard rumours of some people bein lesbians but i dont think they are. cause everyone would treat them badly no one would ever open up

You need to ask yourself whether your friends are worth more than a feeling for a girl.
23-09-2005, 09:13 AM
blah blah blah

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arcanum

You need to ask yourself whether your friends are worth more than a feeling for a girl.

if i chose my friends: but what is she dosent feel the same way about me as i do with her and then i end up wit no friends aswell
23-09-2005, 09:56 AM
Arcanum

Quote:

Originally Posted by blah blah blah

if i chose my friends: but what is she dosent feel the same way about me as i do with her and then i end up wit no friends aswell

Uhh, if you choose your friends, you should not pursue your feelings with her. If you choose her and she doesn't recipricate then I think you may have lost it all.
23-09-2005, 10:27 AM
blah blah blah

uh-oh

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arcanum

Uhh, if you choose your friends, you should not pursue your feelings with her. If you choose her and she doesn't recipricate then I think you may have lost it all.

Exaclty what im afraid of!