"It's Okay to Cry" - No it's Not!

[-:Undertaker:-]

I am so sick of it.

All the time now on Facebook or social media in general there's another post telling me that as a man, it's okay for me to cry. Or just a generic post about mental illness because now everybody is a clinical psychologist.

Piers Morgan got criticised because he criticised the idea that there's 34m people in Britain with mental illness. Fact is, even if there is, you shouldn't be encouraged to feel sorry for yourself or to cry over it. You should be encouraged to snap out of it and get on with life because it doesn't help people who are down to pander to them or to pretend their often overall meaningless problems are the problems of the world. They're not. Alright you feel bad about Y. Have a sulk/sleep it off and carry on.

I get down but I snap out of it when I realise that I need to get a grip of myself. And yeah sure you sink into it sometimes but you have to make an effort and carry on. Nobody in r/l knows I get so severely down so often and there's no need to share it or broadcast to the world. I get down, I get back up. Simple as. That's life. Not everyday is a great day.

I know i'm going to be slammed as being heartless yada yada right now but go ahead. Felt like throwing that grenade.



Thoughts?

[Charlie]

I disagree. I will do what you've said, if there is anything that is getting me down then I just deal with it and carry on with life. It's the same with anything really, if there is something to stress or worry over then I try not to dwell on it to much because everything will work out and letting it sit on my mind for ages doesn't solve anything. I know that not everyone is this way though, and everyone deals with things in a way that better suits them. My girlfriend, for example, is opposite to me in that sense. She has mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety which I imagine factor into it but that could be said for anyone. Everyone is going through their own problems, issues, feelings and they will deal with them in their own way. So, while you and me might just deal with it and carry on, others might need to take longer to get through what they are feeling and deal with it and I don't think that's a bad thing at all. I do also feel like society sometimes pushes this message that certain people and/or genders need to be stronger than others, need to handle things better than others and I don't agree with that either. Everyone should be allowed to handle things in their own way, at their own pace.

I don't think your opinion makes you heartless either because that's simply just how you feel, and because of that it might be harder for you to understand why someone else deals with things the way they do. I know it's been something that I've dealt with in the past and again, it's just that people handle things differently so to me, it seems silly to act that way but to them, it's just how they handle it.

[-:Undertaker:-]

@Charlie;

Best way I find to get out of it is to distract myself with mundane things. Of course it's getting out of a rut that is the hardest part, but once you go force yourself up to go to work, or paint a fence, or clean a driveway - it's the best. Not fun but a distraction from it.

That's all you can do. The only other option is suicide which, contrary to what people always say about "suicide is not an option!" it really is. I don't understand how people are angry at people who have committed suicide, or how they can say it's selfish or whatever. Often it perhaps it the best option, which the person has obviously weighted the positives and negatives up to reach that conclusion.

[dbgtz]

While I also dislike people posting shit like that, I don't see how it's not OK to cry but is entirely OK to sulk?

Interesting you say:

Nobody in r/l knows I get so severely down so often and there's no need to share it or broadcast to the world.

because I believe the whole point of this "it's OK to cry" thing is that people (well, men) don't tend to share emotion in the first place which they link with the higher male suicide rate. So you've made a rather poor point here. But equally, I don't see how posts spreading the "message" will change some peoples perception on men crying.

At the end of the day, I don't care that much and I'm just procrastinating.

[FlyingJesus]

Forcing emotions down is the reason that men commit suicide in such enormous numbers. Having a bit of a weep is better than bottling things up until you go to an extreme. Posting it on Facebook all the time isn't the best way to get things out but if it genuinely helps the person then a minor annoyance is worth them not feeling alone

"Snap out of it" is not something that works when you have a genuine condition that affects the wiring of your brain and the way your body metabolises hormones. It's not so much heartless as just ignorant and unfeasible

[Neversoft]

Have a sulk/sleep it off and carry on

I get down but I snap out of it when I realise that I need to get a grip of myself

You are one single person person among some seven billion. The world does not revolve around or conform to you. Mental health is a real issue — some things you can't snap out of. Crying is an outlet, it's a natural response to pain and it's perfectly okay to cry. I've been going through a rough time this year (in fact, this is probably the worst year of my life — I can't think of a single happy moment) and have cried a lot. I need it — it's a wretched feeling to cry so much, but it's also strangely comforting. I've been through some real dark days, plagued by truly dismal thoughts, but if I bottled it all up I'd snap. I can't just 'get over' what I'm going through. Some people carry around acute pain for their entire lives. The mind is a tremendously complex and individualistic aspect of every living creature, especially humans. It can't be understood in a linear fashion — there are no right or wrong solutions. Tens of thousands of people literally kill themselves every year because they can't move on, fight the pain or make sense of their thoughts. What you've posted is terribly insensitive and displays a profound lack of understanding of mental health.

[-:Undertaker:-]

What you've posted is terribly insensitive and displays a profound lack of understanding of mental health.

That's why I posted it.

After all, you're a single person among some seven billion. The world does not revolve around or conform to you.

[FlyingJesus]

No but his experience is far more valid since it's showing that something can be the case which you're claiming cannot

[Neversoft]

That's why I posted it.

After all, you're a single person among some seven billion. The world does not revolve around or conform to you.

[-:Undertaker:-]

There there don't cry now over my 'insensitive' comments. You're not the only person entitled to a view on mental health.

Have a tissue x