Nialls amazing essay about the Smash Bros series.

[Niall!]

Ok well, since the first Super Smash bros came out it has been immensely popular due to the fact we are able to
satisfy the human nature of beating each other to death. What makes it better than any other normal fighting game
is of course the fact that it inculdes Luigi. I mean Mario. Whatever. Anyway, the chance to beat the hell out of
peach for all the times she has made Mario rescure her is very satisfying. Always wanted to beat on Kirby for
being better than Fox? Well now's your chance. So this is what we have. A fighting game, but with characters commonly
compared to each other, creating alot of tension and rivalry in the air. Brilliant.

But of course, now third party characters have entered the game, and one of course happens to be Mario's old time
rival, Sonic the freaking Hedgehog. Now, I've always been a Sonic fan and I wooped with joy when I heard I had
the chance to spindash that fat ***** into oblivion, and I'm sure many others felt the exact same way when they
heard the fantastic news. But Nintendo have been idiots and added Shadow the "where's that DAMN fourth chaos emerald"
Hedgehog as Segas' attempt at an assist trophy. Now, I wonder why the hell wasn't it Tails? I hate Tails, but come
on, even I have to admit the squeaky little nerd deserves to be at least an assit trophy, not appearing as a crappy
little cameo on ONE stage. Meh. It was bound to happen since Sega have been ******* Shadow off for a long time now.

Anyway, sidetracked, the other 3rd party character is Solid Snake from the series Metal gear solid. Now, when I was
younger I had a playstation, yet I never managed to play a MGS game. It's odd. But I know now... they are absolute
piles of steaming s***. Honestly, I hate those type of games. But then I learnt there were GIANT ROBOTS in the game.
Since I know nothing about MGS, I'll move onto picking on Snake himself. He looks out of place, Sonic was instantly,
but Snake seems more of a real life character, not one that should be appearing in a game of near cartoons. He is the
only one that uses real guns. And he's the only one with a cardboard box. For that, I take back everything and say
"welcome to the Brawl".

Now, some of you may be wondering what the hell this review is about. Well, it's on many topics. The first of which
is the most commonly asked in the smash world. Who is the best character?
Well, having never played Brawl, the newest game of the series (and if you didn't know that, go and drown yourself
in a pond and let the fish eat your eyeballs you sad *****) it's hard to answer. Let's go by the information
we already have. So we have Falco, Fox, and a newcomer from the Star Fox series, Wolf, all who have the exact
same attacks and final smashes. Hmm what happened to no clones? Anyway, they are by far not the best characters
in the game, because fast as they may be, they can never stand up to a Falcon Punch in the face. Which brings me
to yet another thing. Ganandorf is back, and this time... he uses the exact same moves as he did in Melee. I mean,
come on! Use your damn sword you princess raping ****! Anyway, there is a newcomer whom I wish to talk about.
Metaknight seems to be shaping up to be a very nice character, and have you seen his ride? Duuuuuuuuuude.
But apart from the massive ship, Metaknight is definitely a cool character, I personally love the look of the way
he plays and have always been a fan of him. Let's just hope he doesn't dissapoint. Pokemon are back in again, Pikachu
Jigglypuff and Lucario. What? WHERE THE **** IS MEWTWO YOU ******S! Instead we get some furry THING which is the
exact same as Mewtwo, except he gets stronger when he takes more damage. I still prefer Mewtwo though, old school
pokemon is wayyy better than this stuff.

Now, to answer the question I have so expertly avoided just like me avoiding having to write this before my head
explodes after playing Nights to long, I would like to say this. Three people have made it, and it's not on playability.
It is the sheer fact that these people are TOO COOL to be bad characters. Bowser comes in on a strong third due to his
ability to transform into godzilla and him teaming up with Ganandorf. Captain Falcon comes in second due to his ability
to produce a falcon from a punch. Now, drum roll please, the best character ever to enter the Smash bros series is...
Luigi. Now, there are simples reasons. In melee, Luigi kills Mario, his own brother, just to fight you. This I think,
deserves a medal, not because of bravery, but for avenging all those goombas who have had their heads stomped on.
Good on you lad. Secondly, he has the coolest poses ever, and no matter who you are, the moment your compared to
someone with that sort of pose your going to f***ing lose.

Ok, so here is a more easilly answered question. How do I get better at these games? Well there is a simple method,
first of all you have to buy the game, go back home and remember you don't have a TV or a games console to play it on,
go back to the shops, buy TV and console of your choice, go back home a notice your electricity has been turned off
due to you not paying the bills. Alternatively, go to the roof of a very tall building and stop hopping around, you
can even get some friends round to practice Falcon Punching you off the roof.

Now, third and finally, you are still wanting to know why the hell I wrote this thing. Well here it is.
I'm bored, tired, annoyed, aggrevated, stressed and excited about Brawl. So obviously I had to let it out
because my head would have exploded even before I played Nights.

FIN.

[Crazy Bartender]

What's a Niall?

[PaulMacC]

Who the hell is Fin?

[GommeInc]

Snake needs to be in it to make it appeal more to normal people. Shadow probably offended someone down the line so no-one likes him anymore. I think he admitted his homosexuality one day to someone, who knows? I like Lucario better than Mewtwo, he's alot more interesting than Mewtwo, when you compare the films. He has quite a good story behind him, even though Mewtwo's clone story is good too.

[Azul]

I couldn't read it because of the way it was laid out.

[Criminal]

I couldn't read it because of the way it was laid out.

I agree.

Paragraphs, Niall!

[benjamin]

tl;dr.

Edit by Professor-Alex (Forum Moderator): Please don't post pointlessly.

[Niall!]

What's a Niall?

My name?

Who the hell is Fin?

Finish

Snake needs to be in it to make it appeal more to normal people. Shadow probably offended someone down the line so no-one likes him anymore. I think he admitted his homosexuality one day to someone, who knows? I like Lucario better than Mewtwo, he's alot more interesting than Mewtwo, when you compare the films. He has quite a good story behind him, even though Mewtwo's clone story is good too.

Mewtwo is always going to be better than Lucario in my eyes, he was the original legendary of the games and I loved it when I caught him.

I couldn't read it because of the way it was laid out.

I know, I tried.

[Criminal]

I love the way you mentioned Mewto 2-3 times

[Niall!]

I love the way you mentioned Mewto 2-3 times

Me? Where?