i couldent find a slot saying story ill use this plez read

[ryan456789]

THE BOY WHO SURVIED THE WORST
I was walking home from my friends.It was pitch black and by the way the moon was it looked about half eight.I was just around the courner and "BOOM".
Then screaming and crashes rised in the streets.Airoplanes appered in the sky it was the Germans they were attacking.Everyone was running and shouting.
I looked behind me and shouted "the Germans are entering the city".Tanks,soilders and planes were coming out of now were.I ran home no one was there.
I ran in and packed some stuff and ran back out.I headed out towards the moutains and kept going.When i looked back at my city it was bombed,trashed
and on fire.I was in shock.The Germans are going to find me here i have to keep moving i siad to myself.I stoped at the hieghest piont of the moutain.
I looked in my bag there was an appel,3 slices of bread a tin of warter and 60 pence.That was enough to last me 2 days.I have to reach the next town
or city or i wont survive.I woke up the next morning and all i could hear was birds either feeding on pray or looking for some.I started to think of my
family were are they i thought were could they go i better start on my way to the next city.I stood up packed my bag and started to travel hoping
that the next city wasent destroyed like my one.As i traveled i came across a river there were a few fish in there.I grabed a branch of a tree
and started to fish at the end of my fishing i caught two fish.I rapped them up in leaves and put them in my bag.On my way up i noticed a flame
of smoke i ran hoping it would be my family but it wasent it was an abandent camp there was a frying pan and some water i took both.
Now my bag is full and a bit heavy.But i hve to keep going or they'll catch up with me on my way down the maoutain saw a pack of wolfs.I tried
to keep my distance but they smelt me out i grabbed a stick and broke the first wolfs jaw and the second one's leg but then they ran off.As i
continued down the moutain with a scared leg and a bruced head.When i looked into the distance i saw a town.I ran towards the town screaming
"The Germans are coming The Germans are coming"most people did't believe me but the King heard about it and he called for me striaght
away.The King asked me"how do you now this young man" and i replied "the soilders are heading this way they just destroyed my city
just over those moutains".The King got all his soilders to protect the city.I asked the king could he help me find me family he siad yes and
got a troop of men to look for them i was so glad.While i waited for them to find my family i was preparing for the Germans to come.I woke
up the next day and went out,it was beaming sun.He walked down the alley and down the lane then he realised there was no one out.
The markets were closed the stalls werent open every one was hiding and waiting for the Germans.But there were two children playing football
with a giant accorn.I asked "were is everyone" they replied "they are hiding and in terro since you came and told them that the Germans are coming
So i went back to the Castel.That night the sirens rised and screaming shouting began.It was like daghavow all over agien.I ran out of the castel trying
to make a run for it.But a German soilder caught me.He put me in a jeep and i was sent into a camp.As i was walking in people were being trethend
and being forced to work or they'll die.I was really scared.The next day it was torchor.But there was one good thing dough i meet up with my family
i was glad to see them but sad that they were here.I was in shcok when my mum told me my littel sister was dead.I work day after day and night after night
and only got 6 hours sleep.I say six people died a day and 15 were brought in.its been 4 days since i arived here and my big brother is really sick if
he dosent get his medicen he will die.And my dad was sent to another camp but we got noticed that he died in a gun shooting incedent.Its been one week
now and my brother died so now it me and my mam.Im very sick myself now and more and more people are dieing.I dont now wat to do comit suicde
or keep working.My mam was sent to a gas chamber as she gave a gaurd a box.She never returned.So now it was just me in this dangours world
all alone.It was the middel of the night and shooting began and peopel started to shout the "Allies are here the Allies are here".The camp was destroyed
the Germans lost.WW2 was now over.But where will i live where shall i go.
by
Ryan Kelty

[Middlesbrough]

Sorry but there are loads of flaws in the story,

- Really unrealistic, if the germans did invade they wouldn't be for long even in
WWII england had a strong army and a breach like this wouldn't happen
- Very little puncuation
- Not well thought out
- Really badly spelt

[Mikey]

You could of used a grammar check and spell check. Also this thread would be better in Spam or Discuss Anything.

[Ardemax]

you must be 8 years of age
and im not talking about how crap the story is

I don't see any animations here...
didn't they teach you in school that it's new speaker, new line?
look how it's meant to be done,
"Johnny sit down!" Yelled Miss Smith, still unable to control the class,
"Miss, c'mon, It's not as if I've done anything wrong," replied Johnny.

[Japan]

I didn't know towns/cities had kings in ww2..
And two boys were playing football with a giant acorn?
TBH I thought this was a diary from a fairytale world.

But on the plus side, at least you got the German concentration camp bit right =D