How do you deal with bereavements in the family?

[Homosexual]

Lately, a member of my immediate family passed away and I just want to know how the HxF lot deal with it? I know everyone's different and I'm just curious how you deal with things like this.

I was fine up until the funeral, which I just broke down. I was nominated to carry the member with other members of my family and I nearly had to pull away (we had people who could stand in) because I was extremely upset :/

Ta guys
x

[Gibs960]

I've never really had a lot of people die in my family apart from my Grandma when I was 3 but my mum had her Auntie die and my mum "got over" it in a way by crying for the first day or two and a couple of times at the funeral and then now my Nana and my mum laugh about it and say "she'll be up there laughin at us lot".

Try and think of it as "they'll be with Jesus and God" Hope this helps.

[Homosexual]

I've never really had a lot of people die in my family apart from my Grandma when I was 3 but my mum had her Auntie die and my mum "got over" it in a way by crying for the first day or two and a couple of times at the funeral and then now my Nana and my mum laugh about it and say "she'll be up there laughin at us lot".

Try and think of it as "they'll be with Jesus and God" Hope this helps.

Cheers, though I'm not religious.. the member was close to our Grandad; who passed 7 years ago; so we just say they're together.

[buttons]

sorry for your loss


umm i don't really deal with it i guess. i don't get depressed and i don't stay in my bed all day crying. i just sorta get on with my life and keep busy because it stops me from thinking. besides, it's not like i have time to grieve when arranging a funeral is so stressful. during my grans funeral i got lobbed next to my younger cousins so i just pokerfaced it all the way through because i didn't want to be the first one to cry and it seemed no-one else wanted to either. whenever my cousin gets upset over it, she always comes to me for comfort and because she depends on me to say something to make her feel better it's not like i can breakdown or anything so it sorta helps me deal with it too. the older people in my family make light hearted jokes and try to keep the mood up throughout, i always thought it was inappropriate but then that is just their way of dealing with it so i understand now.

[wiktoria]

I never lost anyone who is REALLY close to me. I lost my grandma about 3 months ago but she doesn't even live in the UK and I've not seen her for about 4 years so I wasn't that close to her but I was still depressed and blamed myself for not being closer to her. If I lost someone that was close to me I would be depressed and then just try and get on with life because there's nothing I can do. Everyone in my family just don't talk about it at all because that's what helps them deal with it. Sorry for your loss.

[Catzsy]

Sorry to hear about your loss. It is a difficult time and I am not sure if it is about 'coping'.
The way you feel is perfectly natural at this time for you. Everybody is different but each of us
has to go through the natural stages of 'grief'. One day you will look back and be able to think of the happy memories and not feel sad but that's easy to say but I know it's true.

This is quite a good website that gives you some incite into the way you are feeling now.
http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/

I hope it helps and thinking of you at this time.

[bkps]

I'm really sorry for your loss
Ermm I don't know how I deal with it, because my grandad died while I was in the room with him (Jus tme and my sister and we were all holding hands when he died) It was the first time I had seen him, so I didn't feel much..
When my other grandad(This one I was REALLY close to) died and I wasn't in the country, I guess I was in denial abit. I didn't react. I pretended like everything was ok, and next time I went to visit him he'd be there. I never cried about it, and I never went to his funeral, but deep down I know he's in a happy place =] Up in heaven :]

[Conservative,]

Aww sorry for your loss.

When my Grandfather died late last year I was really upset. But I had to put up a front because my brothers needed me - my parents were both busy with work and sorting things out for the funeral so it fell to me to look after my brothers.

How I dealt with it was I realised - he's no longer in pain. For 20 years he has been very ill with various rare diseases and had to go into hospital monthly for painful procedures. He is back with his loving wife in heaven - where he wanted to be - and he looks down on me proudly (I hope). I realised all the suffering ended for him. He died peacefully and with his family close to him. He is happy now.

I did start to blame the hospital at first, for failing. He died due to an infection probably caught when he fell over and injured himself which is why he went in the first place. I was really angry at them and often when I started to cry I'd grit my teeth and blame them.

Honestly, the best way to deal with it is to let your emotions out and believe they're in a better place now. I kept all mine inside me and let it out at night - but it felt nasty. My brothers always felt better when they just cried next to me - and it's because you have someone else who understands. And believe they're in a better place - all the pain and suffering of our cruel world has gone now. they're happy, they're free.

[JACKTARD]

My family is really tight so if someone were to die it would hit hard, we have suffered a bereavement 4 years ago which was my great-grandad, we all just celebrated his life and we got through it. Not like a party celebration but like looked at the good things which he had accomplished and how fulfilled his life was and it kind of softened the blow in a weird way, obviously it was sad but it helped

[rokgal]

Recently one of my close family members passed away aswell and we lived in the same house and saw him everyday we couldnt help but cry for the first coming days and tommorow is the funeral and i will probably start crying again as its such a sad loss to the family