A poem I wrote for english

[Conservative,]

I hate poems, and English in general if I'm honest, but I'm quite happy with this so thought I'd share it with you guys.

CC is welcome - but nothing rude

It's on conflict because that's our subject - it's about a soldier in Afghanistan. I'll probably extend it, but this is what I have so far.

A man fires a rifle,
He’s fighting for you,
He is a hero,
But you don’t know the things he’d do

In the desert he fought,
For the safety and protection of others
He laid down his life
For the children and mothers

And although he survived,
He is mentally scarred,
From the things that he did,
Fighting the enemy guard,

And you the readers back home,
He’s fighting for you,
But you’ll never think about
The things he’d do

Thoughts?

[lAbby,ox]

That's really good it just feels like something should be added in the last couple of lines like;

But you'll never learn to think about
The things he'd do for you

If that's made it worse I'm sorry lol but it's really good

[-:Undertaker:-]

I like it, much better than the nonsense I have to read for A2 - good work!

[yoyo123]

amazing poem good job

[bkps]

Great poem +rep

[Conservative,]

Thanks haha and yeah Abby that's good

We're doing some stupid Poem part of my GCSE and we had some poet come in (to be fair he was alright) and he taught us all these techniques and now we have to use them all

I might post some more later.

[Gibs960]

I really like, it makes you think about things. I really suck at poems so I respect anyone that rights even a half good poem! +rep

[Conservative,]

I really like, it makes you think about things. I really suck at poems so I respect anyone that rights even a half good poem! +rep

Haha thanks. It does. Our poems have to be on "conflict" so I thought I'll write about Afghanistan. I have no family or personal links as far as I'm aware, but I read about it a lot and listen to music about it and I had just listened to a song about it when I had to write it so it was inspired by that

[The Don]

Really good poem here robbie +rep

[Nuxty]

Excellent Robbie, I really like it. Its had a lot of thought and emotion put into it, well done mate!