My first stab at writing a song

[Victimized]

Hello, i been really frustrated and feeling abit low recently so i thought i'd vent it out abit. This is my first song/poem type thing, so its nothing special, it doesn't exactly have much structure or anything, i just kinda wrote it. If it's terrible be gentle!

Bullets

Their insults are like bullets,
They pierce the skin,
When you get up,
They come and knock you down again,
But i know that am i stronger,
Deep Inside
But these frustrations and these feelings,
Can't always hide.

They stare at you like your nothing,
Like dirt on their shoe,
But they don't know the half,
Of what your going through,
They feed you the same **** everyday,
Your like their puppet on a string,
Who they can just throw away.

This is all so far, please say if you like it or not.

[Pulchritudinous]

Wow, it's excellent, it brings across your emotions without sounding like 'I wanna slit my wrists tonight' style.

I love the way you compared the insults to bullets, it's great, I'll have to give you some rep.

[Victimized]

Oh wow! Thanks Reps back.

[Addie]

Wowness! Its good.Especially since its your first.