Emoitus - The Worldwide Disease - Your Guide

[Pompous-User]

Emoitus

For the past year, a disease has plagued us. A disease which has been passed on to many Teenagers, and some strange adults.

Emoitus formed from the cult, Emo. Emo is not a music genre, It is a whimp-parage of black fringed tufty parting humans who have no empathy.

WARNING: SOME MATERIAL MAY CONTAIN PERSUATION. PLEASE DO NOT TURN TO EMOITUS.

The first stage of Emoitus, is envying Emo's. You will look at them, admire their 'individualness' and their many scars that are blanketed across their wrists.

The second stage of Emoitus, is the wanting to be Emo that you go to extremes to be one. You splash money on clothes that are 4 - 5 year olds and when you try them on, you call yourself fat but you're actually stick-thin so you go on a skinny-diet.

The third stage of Emoitus, is the lankyness. After your skinny-diet, you will realise you have become abnormally skinny, but still call yourself fat. You will become abnormally tall and skinny, making you lanky.

The forth stage of Emoitus, is the extreme hair. You will find yourself visiting the hairdresser, asking for thee most 'individual' hairstyle around. After the hairdresser is done, you have landed yourself with thee most hip'n'cool haircut, a huge side fringe which covers your right eye - a good way to make you half blind while crossing the road.

The fifth stage of Emoitus, is the extreme hair dying. You will want to dye your hair jet-black or albino-blonde, but, as always, your home-dyeing kit will turn your hair an ugly shade of orange. But at this point you will not care, because you're 'individual'.

The sixth stage of Emoitus, is the music and lyrics. You will find yourself, constantly listening to bands that scream lyrics only you will understand. You remember them and then sing the lyrics infront of your friends the next day, so they know you're Emo.

The seventh stage of Emoitus, is the emotions. Once you have passed the stage of the emo beauty methods. Your feelings will form, you will feel things such as:

Paranoia
Anger
Self-sympathy
Guilt
Heartbreak (One of the common ones)
Sadness
Depressed
Ultimately cool.

All your happy feelings will disapear.

The eighth stage of Emoitus, is the self-harming. There will be a knife in your house and you will be tempted to use it. This is one of stages that show you are developing severe Emoitus. You will slash your wrists and cry your heart-felt bands that only you understand.

The nineth stage of Emoitus, is MySpace. At this stage, you would have joined MySpace. The popular Emo site, for Emo's who are just Emo's. You will pose pictures of yourself as if you're shocked or the 'black fringe headshot'. . That is when you join the Emo community.

The tenth stage of Emoitus, is admitting you're Emo. This is the final stage. You will find yourself being Emo constantly as the Emoitus infects you. People will call you Emo, but you will not care because you chose to be 'individual'. You admit you're Emo and become proud, until you slit you're wrists too much and walk across the road half-blind - but you don't care, more reasons to kill yourself!

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Remember kids, Emoitus is a disease that lowers you low. If you can say, "Yes, I do.." to five or more of these stages, you are on your way to let that Emoitus mutate further.

Remember: Emoitus is a DISEASE. If you are not Emo, NEVER repeat self-harming and getting yourself a side fringe that makes you half-blind at home!

Vaccinations are available, ask your local Anti-Emo. Emo's are taking over all ages. We must act now.

Thank you for reading.

[Kotu]

Btw, "side fringes" don't affect your sight at all. I used to have long hair, and at times I'd brush it to one side when I was doing something practical, and it'd slip forward infront of my face as most people with long hair would tell you. I could see perfectly fine

This post is stupid, are you, or the source, being serious?

[FlyingJesus]

Feeling "ultimately cool" is a happy feeling.

[jordybumz!]

side fringes for the win :]

[Billay]

wow. you got no life. let's just hope you copy and pasted it. and it's no big deal what people wanna be.

[GommeInc]

wow. you got no life. let's just hope you copy and pasted it. and it's no big deal what people wanna be.

I agree with Billay.

I am slightly confused with why Myspace is considered an Emo site... Loads of hard rock bands, pop bands, children bands and etc use it, loads of bans use it, so does that make most of the people in this planet an emo for listening to music on an emo site?

[HUGECOOL]

First off, the disease would be called emoITIS, not EmoiTUS, since its describing a condition. :rolleyes:

Second, it's amusing to see how much resistance there is to this trend even though its overrated. Why in the world would you care that people act this way? "/

It's not a disease nor is it a condition. It's a silly little fad that will fade away sooner or later. Never underestimate human stupidity. Clearly, we've just seen the tip of the ignorance iceberg from you, n'est-ce pas?

You are a fine example of why inbreeding should be done away with.

[Moose]

Pfft, it isn't a disease its more of a bad habit. Now tell me, are you going to warn us about Pubertus?

[Billay]

I agree with Billay.

I am slightly confused with why Myspace is considered an Emo site... Loads of hard rock bands, pop bands, children bands and etc use it, loads of bans use it, so does that make most of the people in this planet an emo for listening to music on an emo site?

gracias

[infatuation]

stupidest thread ever.