School's a Drag! - School essay

[Eternity]

Assignment: Create an essay on something you can express your opinion on and introduce humour. I didn't know what to do, so i desided to do it on school. It took me one hour in all to think of it and type it out, so there will be mistakes somewhere.

School's a Drag!

You may be wondering why you’re reading this essay? Yes, you’re stuck in a claustrophobic building that they call “school” which in fact, is like a “jail” for most teenagers. They, being the normally middle-aged, short tempered, highly intellectual adults who keep you in that blasted building.

Yes, I’ve now escaped the jail. I genuinely hated school, having ab-normal nocturnal habit’s and a fondness of my bed. Worst thing is to have someone drag your still-sleeping
Body out of your bed and bawl in your face “WAKE UP YOU COMPLETE IDIOT” well, that’s what twin brother’s are for.

School for me was pretty tough as I’ve never had a bigger challenge than to keep my eyes awake AND to write down notes from a board, god we’re 15 year old hormonal, sleepy students not rocket scientists with Advanced Highers on Physics, and that’s only IN school!

I often used to sit there rubbing my eyes to give off the effect I only had sore eyes, no Miss, I was in fact keeping myself awake. You sit there thinking I’m putting all this in my head and fully understanding when it’s a challenge to work out your sum on the board!

School is just another chance for kid’s to rendezvous with their friends, have a big gossip about who’s going out with who, who is fighting who and also who done what in which class! Most of the time the hormones come into play, School is the biggest youth dating agency on earth! We’ve all had our school sweetheart who we secretly cheat on when we go home and have a little meeting with your girlfriend around your area!

After the first break in School, I’d always be more energetic and the e number’s now tunnelling through my stomach would make sure I stay awake, more than awake! I’d be running around like a dog on heat having a laugh and grinning like my cheeks are glued to my upper face. Not only did the teacher have me to keep up with, every other student except the PE fanatic’s had fuelled up on chocolate, fizzy juice, crisps, few ton of sugar here, few ton of salt there! The teacher had her work cut out, in period 3, oh yes…

So, we’ve passed the biggest challenge in the day so far. We’ve managed to pull ourselves out of bed, often with the help of an un-willing sibling with a violence streak and a fondness for punching you to give you a “GOOD MORNING” wake up, we’ve had the first two periods where you sit there like you’ve just had a challenge to stay away for 48 hours sitting in a 2x2m room with white walls and a seat, we’ve had the biggest dating agency on earth & the e-number refuelling; passed break and then we’re onto third period!

Third period would always be with the teacher you sit there and wonder how many war’s they’ll remember, they’ll be in their tweed coat’s which they’ve been wearing since they’ve been a teacher, so we’re talking about a teacher in a coat for roughly 70 years. You know your in for a rough period. You’ll sit there tight lipped wanting to jump up on your seat and dance to the song beating in your ear-drum. This period is most likely to be the least attention grabbing, probably history (Another excuse for a person with 3 numbers in their age to gab on about how it was in their days, how if you acted like you do today we’d get the belt!). Then, after the 30 seconds of walking in the door the havoc will start. The class clown will be sitting there making assortments of sound like a comedy radio station sound box. Once the history door bursts open, your hyperactivity has been made into a dormant state after listening to an old person you KNOW should be retired 20 years ago, you’ll run out that door.

You’ll hustle through all the younger people, now you’re the kind of the castle, or at least one of the arrow men who are allowed to act big when they’re not really. You’ll push by the smaller kid’s and act all macho until you see the 7ft tall, 20 stone 3rd year. Then you snap out of it and go back down to the 5ft 7 12 stone boy you were!

In 4th period your most likely to be hungry for your lunch, your patience is going low and your body is having withdrawal symptoms from the missing e-numbers now digested. You’ll probably be in a class like English. The teacher will be highly intellectual and you normally sit their drilling holes with your eyes into the top grade student and the front wishing you could read minds to see what the teacher means; obviously the smart teacher’s pet at the front will know what the teacher’s saying! You’ll sit there fidgeting and squirming “god I can’t wait till lunch” you’ll repeat over and over in your head.
“Dringggggggggggggggggggggggggg” AT LAST! The bell went, finally!

Lunch! Freedom!
You rush by everyone in the corridors, only stopping to find your group of mates.
You find your group of mates, and it’s like sunshine to a prisoner in a solitary compartment without no light. He’ll run out in amazement, and as free as a butterfly.
No worries, the whip crackers (teachers) will have us back in 50 minutes. So, we’ll go find somewhere to refuel your gut, chat to the local eye candy and get those most needed e-numbers! What better than a visit to the shops for a can o’ Irn Bru and a visit to the Café.

After creating havoc for 50 minutes and making the catering assistant in the Café lose her hair to stress and the shop keeper’s hair to turn grey, we’ll return to jail. I mean school.
Back in school, there’s the mixed emotion. You feel happy you just filled the gut and regained the most needed E’s, but your returning to prison, back into that dark damp cell without no light.

5th period will always be one that contains speed, agility & stamina, What better than to bring up your dinner than a period of PE! Yeah, force you to come in and work for 50 minutes on your fitness. You drag your slow, depressed body into the changing rooms to get changed. Everyone but the fitness fantastic’s looking depressed. Once in the PE hall the Teacher; who still thinks they’re 13 not 53 will try running around to demonstrate your task on hand, YES they’ll make you laugh at them first “GOD he needs a reality check” you think to yourself, make you laugh before they make you die. Must be their motto. Finally, you can go get changed, you’ve just lost about 1 stone in sweat.

No longer shall you shuffle your heavy feet along the ground, you’ll have your cheeks plastered to your upper face finally again, ah! 6th period! Best period of the day. 6th period always was the weird period such as IT, so you’ll bust a few muscles in PE and lose more than a stone of sweat and then have a relaxing period of sitting at a computer and acting like you know what your doing. Normally you do, just the teacher you get, you always get the impression you could teach her more than she could teach you! You’ll rush off your work to have a final 10 minutes relaxing in a comfy recliner chair gossiping about someone winding up a teacher, who snogged who, who battered who. OH! School life, eh? “RRRRRRRRRRRIGHT class.. pack up please” said the ever so doted teacher.
You’ll pack away your folder, smile once last solemn smile and think “thank you, god. Pulling me through yet another day of hell”.

“DRINGGGGGGGGGGGG” Goes the bell. Finally, freedom for another day. Everyone will practically break they’re necks trying to rush down the steep steps and pushing the oh so unwilling student in front of you down the stairs. You’ll walk home and YES another day over…

“YEAH done another day, away from those teachers” those teachers were normally the adults that, if they weren’t supplied by “mug-fuls of happiness” or, as we know it caffeine in coffee and tea, they wouldn’t hold their stature and stiff upper British lip!
To spend all day jibed by students, made fun of and completely ignored well… I’d pat them on the back if I wasn’t one of those ones who are out of the classroom before the bell can stop ringing! We all know the teacher’s return to the staffroom for their caffeine top-up and to have a little gossip about their devil’s in progress; students.

That’s the pain you go through everyday, I’m finally done that! I always hated school as 9am never is a good time for me, give me about 1pm and I’m all yours. As I lay in my bed dreaming sweet dreams, you go through this!

“BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ” What on earth is that? As I sit up I start to hit myself, I tug my cheeks, slap my head, punch my face. I AM awake, so why is my alarm on? “Allan, you better get up before I bloody kill you” shouted a familiar voice, you’re kiddin’ my brother’s? OH NO GOD PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS. Yes, you’re right. I’ve just woke up after my sweet sweet dreams. School is a drag… a drag I’m still challenged with…

[Yoshimitsui]

Rite yeah i totaly agree, nice essay you should have used it for english!:eusa_clap

[Eternity]

Urm... so you never even read the FIRST BLOODY LINE? okay, maybe people should READ the first line nevermind the full story.

[Yoshimitsui]

Yeah, its called sarcasam

[Eternity]

You must be seriously bad at it, if your going to comment like a right ****** then don't comment at all, do something useful like jamming your head in a door. thx.

[Yoshimitsui]

Well that is just uncalled for!




Catzsy (Forum Super Moderator) - Could you all stay on topic please. Thx

[Eternity]

Stay on topic pls >:]

lmao urm and yea, i'll re-post in this thread the edited version, my teacher loved it.