A poem by my mum xD

[Painiac]

Lol At one point in history I said I would post one of my mums poems so here it is:

So You're Gonna Have A Baby!

So.. you`re gonna have a baby
And I bet you just can`t wait
But do you know what lies ahead
after the delivery-date?
It`s not as you may picture it
Or others make it out to be,
Your whole world will turn upside down,
Just you wait and see.

You`re in for many changes
In the days and weeks ahead,
Things, they`ve never mentioned
In the baby-books you`ve read.
And while I`m not an expert
On babies and their care,
I thought I`d better warn you
And help you to prepare.

From that very first moment
With the baby in your arms,
That gorgeous little bundle
Is using all its charms
To work on you, in subtle ways
And try to win your heart,
Ensuring that you`ll love it
right from the very start.

The baby`s born and suddenly,
There`s not enough hours per day;
Of the twenty-four, there were before,
Seems half have gone away.
The endless rounds of feeding
And nappy-changes too
Mean that out of every four,
There`s, perhaps, one hour for you.

Did I forget to mention
How much happens that first week?
How your ****s can grow to melon-size
And then begin to leak?
And then, of course your bottom`s sore
And your stitches pull like hell
And if that isn’t bad enough,
You`re constipated as well.



Your emotions are in turmoil,
Your mood swings up and down,
One minutes smile or laughter
changes quickly to a frown.
Your hormones cause the baby-blues
But I`ve a theory too,
Surviving on three hours sleep each night
Can do the same for you.

Hope your husband remembers
on your discharge day
that your pre-pregnancy figure
has vanished away.
There`s nowt so disheartening
As trying to squeeze
Into favourite jeans
That won`t pass your knees.

It`s good to be home
And at last, you can rest,
Once you`ve washed up the dishes
And tidied the mess.
It`s not that men don`t try
But most women will say
“my husband just doesn’t do
Housework, my way”

Something you`ll discover
which you never saw before
Is that your husband is deaf
When starting to snore.
During daytime, he says proudly,
“Our baby, to keep!”
That baby`s all yours
When he needs his sleep.

Not only is he deaf
But you will soon tell
That something`s affecting
His sense of smell.
He`ll change wet nappies
Without ever a moan
But dirty ones and sicky clothes
He leaves well alone

Now that i`ve told you
All I recall
I bet that you`re wishing
I hadn`t bothered at all.
But I`ve looked on the black side
With all the above,
None of which reckons
on the forces of love.

Within a short while,
You will find out firsthand
That the dirtier jobs
you just do, on demand
don`t matter at all
compared with the joy
you feel, when you look
at your new girl or boy.

So, enjoy the new baby
With which you`ve been blessed,
My very best wishes
Come along with the rest.
With every new day
Comes a moment to treasure
Which stays in your memory
For ever and ever.

Words can`t explain
The joy you will have
Just from raising your child
And giving it love
We`ll know soon enough
How you like being a mother
When you announce to the world
“I`m having another!”

[lukeisok]

Did I forget to mention
How much happens that first week?
How your ****s can grow to melon-size
And then begin to leak?
And then, of course your bottom`s sore
And your stitches pull like hell
And if that isn’t bad enough,
You`re constipated as well.


Thats bits Brillaint,

Your Mum Is Very Talented.

[hellzfrost]

I love it :p

[Max]

Very very good Thats excellent and I never thought about it that way. I always thought the biggest problem would be the crying...lol
Thank you god, I will never have to be a mum...Phew

Tell your mum its a great poem, she's really talented.

[:Kimi]

lol, its cool, good and funny - ur mum sounds cooooool

[Painiac]

All my mates seem to think so, but I'm not sure whether that is because she acts like she is drunk when they are round or not.