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Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Hertfordshire
    Posts
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    Default My poem its excellent read here please rate

    Step by step heart by heart even we go on like toy solider
    step by step heart by heart even go on like toy soliders

    Years go past
    poor authons run away
    hurt and in pain
    kids lieing on the floor looking down the drain
    and kids crying in pain
    8 years past
    there is no change
    will eneyone one stop it
    no they didnt
    a boy growed up
    18 years old
    he was stinky and mold
    stomac empty
    is that a way to live
    well it was only the beginning
    he got too 20
    had lovely parents
    found them again
    lost them again
    died in a bomb
    a guy came other to our city
    moved to our city cause there was a bomb
    called a refugee when he didnt do no wrong
    so remember where a band
    people can kill themselfs
    and then its the end

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    South West England
    Posts
    2,143
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    0

    Latest Awards:

    Default

    Is it meant to be based on Eminem's (bad) song? o.O
    It's... good.. um.. doesn't really do anything for me I'm sorry. :S Don't know whether it's intentional or not but you have a few spelling/grammatical errors in there, which isn't particularly good for a poem. Well done anyway! =]

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    4,339
    Tokens
    107
    Habbo
    Honesty

    Latest Awards:

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bloodkanekiller
    Step by step heart by heart even we go on like toy soldier
    step by step heart by heart even go on like toy soldiers

    Years go past
    poor authons run away
    hurt and in pain
    kids lieing on the floor looking down the drain
    and kids crying in pain
    8 years passed
    there is no change
    will anyone one stop it
    no they didnt
    a boy grew up
    18 years old
    he was stinky and mold
    stomache empty
    is that a way to live
    well it was only the beginning
    he got to 20
    had lovely parents
    found them again
    lost them again
    died in a bomb
    a guy came other to our city
    moved to our city cause there was a bomb
    called a refugee when he didnt do nothing wrong
    so remember where a band
    people can kill themselfs
    and then its the end
    Fixed errors

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    South West England
    Posts
    2,143
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    0

    Latest Awards:

    Default

    Not all of them Authons (no idea what it is, do you mean orphans?) Lieing, stomache, mold, themselfs still spelt wrong

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    4,339
    Tokens
    107
    Habbo
    Honesty

    Latest Awards:

    Default

    I didn't know that either..
    Authons.. weird.
    I fixed MOST of them
    I thought he meant mold

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    In My House
    Posts
    583
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    0

    Default

    stop posting this so many times, ITS SOOO ANNOYING!!!!!!!
    ѕтσρ αиιмαℓ ¢яυєℓту

    тєѕт му ραтιєи¢є.. gσ σи.. ι ∂αяє уσυ!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,212
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    Latest Awards:

    Default

    i dont really get the meaning but i think if i knew wut it ment it would b a good poem

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