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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Essex And Proud
    Posts
    230
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    Post A Poem To Look at </3

    Here is a poem that i have made recently...
    There’s this girl I keep seeing,
    reappearing in my mirror
    Although she’s on the other side
    It seems she’s always near
    Her long black hair, in a tangled mess
    She appears as a normal girl
    but she’s different from the rest
    Although I’ve never seen her face
    She is a friend of mine.
    Her sadness is unbelievable,
    there’s no way to define.
    She wants to take me
    through the mirror
    so I can explore her world.
    The place that she endures,
    The world of a broken girl.
    I have no choice,
    as she starts to grab my hand
    I try to fight back -
    This isn’t what I had planned
    I scream and cry for help
    even though no one’s around to hear.
    I see the girl’s face,
    as she continues pulling me through the mirror.
    Her eyes are black,
    and her face streaked with past tears.
    And before I get sucked through,
    I awake and rid my fears.
    I reassure myself that its okay,
    and go back to sleep.
    I pray for a dreamless sleep,
    one that’s long and deep.
    As I begin to shut my eyes,
    everything becomes a blur.
    And as soon as I’m away in sleep,
    I once again..
    Dream of her.
    __________________
    Sarah

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Pluto
    Posts
    2,430
    Tokens
    138

    Latest Awards:

    Default

    Awesome poem, good use of Tension.
    I want to be a Penguin,Hippo,Llama Real Boy!


    Ex-Forum Moderator - 2005-2008
    Ex-Habbox Live DJ - 2006-2007
    x

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Midlands
    Posts
    1,132
    Tokens
    0

    Latest Awards:

    Default

    thats pretty sweet
    Owner Of The-Red-Help-Center
    I became Productions staff on the 28/1/07
    I became Events Organiser Trialist on 22/2/07
    Final Fantasy - Square Enix rules
    To Zanarkand:
    To Zanarkand - Orchestra:
    I owe rep to: X:RiX:X

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Manchester
    Posts
    3,303
    Tokens
    425
    Habbo
    Mrs.McCall

    Latest Awards:

    Default

    Wow! That is really good. Reminds me of like two versions of the girl. The girl looking into the mirror is happy and the one looking out of the mirror is all the past grievences and hurt. The girl looking out of the mirror wants the girl looking into it to feel her pain...

    My little analysis anyway! Wonderful 10/10 +rep


    Mrs.McCall - I'm out of this world.

    Read all about me

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    London
    Posts
    1,780
    Tokens
    0

    Latest Awards:

    Default

    nice one, mate


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    North England
    Posts
    5,718
    Tokens
    0

    Latest Awards:

    Default

    I love it. The timing is impeccable.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    78
    Tokens
    0

    Default

    Its very well written!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Leicester
    Posts
    4,155
    Tokens
    1,622

    Latest Awards:

    Default

    Well written.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    1,177
    Tokens
    0

    Latest Awards:

    Default

    emoo________x
    CAN CAN CAN CAN YOU YOU YOU YOU FEEL FEEL FEEL MA HAHAHAHAHEART IS BEATING

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    1,471
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    0

    Latest Awards:

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    Good poem, I personally hate sad poems... why not happy ones, but yeah its well written. +Rep

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