The serious poem from bloodkane

[Bloodkanekiller]

Hitting and kicking fighting on the play ground
people swearing and aint careing about people personailty
a poor kid being called a refugee
a rich kid about to have his BCJ
this aint a poem you like or hate
its a serious poem and thats what im about to make
people will cry of what you say
tears running down there face
and no one there to pick up there cloths and take a boys case
africa aint a way to live
you should be lucky that your with a loveing family
parents mate say go to your room
but imange kids in africa they dont even have a spoon
so remember about young kids
little baby that aint no fibs

Edited by Soyers (Forum Administrator): Thread closed, because the thread starter has been banned.

[Painiac]

One note... It Doesn't Have To Rhyme... you've got some great ideas but you kinda make them corny (IMO) by making everything rhyme when it isn't needed. 5/10

[Bikez]

Pretty good. 8/10..

[Luayminator]

I hate it

[Surname]

I agree that your poem does not need to rhyme. A poem can be good without rhyming. I suppose that was alright, but it can be improved... alot.

[Luayminator]

I only hate ti cuz its by bloodkane