Post your funny stories here.

[Axel]

I have loaads so I wanted to make a thread on it.

A few weeks back when I went paintballing, the game started and I tested my gun and it shot the guy right infront of me straight in the bum and he turned around and I jumped to the ground and went in stealth mode and pretended to not be there.

Like a few years ago I was playing football with a load of 5 year olds and I kicked it really hard and it smacked one right in the face and he ran in crying.

Quite a while back a kid who lived in my street brought his micro scooter out, and I asked for a go and he said ye and ran off to play football up the street, so I stood on it and it snapped straight in half, so in a panic I ran behind my house which is infront of his house and threw it in a bush, and when I looked out my bedroom window and saw him and his dad walkign inside, he was crying and his dad was holding a broken scooter.

A few years ago someone had one of those scooters with the fat wheels so I thought I'd try to jump over the river near my house on it and just fell straight in.

Like aages ago when my street thought roller blades were cool, we were all out roller blading and my friend made a ramp, I told him to try and do a backflip so he like half a back flip and landed and broke his hip.

Like 2 years ago I was trying to climb over a fence near my house but my foot slipped and I fell off and I landed on what was to be the next door house's new window.

Like last year at school my mate was in the toilet room and I was waiting outside, and I thought I'd kick the door open slightly to open the door for him when he came near (I could see him through the stained glass when he was washing his hands) so as he approached I kicked the door but way too hard and it smacked him right in the nose and broke his nose and I ran off so he wouldn't know it's me.

Like 2 years ago in a spanish lesson someone threw his book at me, so I threw it back but like 10 times harder and it hit him right in the eye, the corner of the book and all, and he had to go out of the class.

Me and my friend were sort of play fighting on a hill and I swung him round and he fell down a massive hill and landed on the concrete path below.

When I was 4 we all head mini tractor things, but I wasn't on mine. I was trying to draw chalk lines on the pavement for some reason, and one of my friends kept running them over and rubbing them out on his tractor, so I picked up a fat rock and threw it at him but it missed him and hit my other friend and he had to go to hospital.

I was at lazer tag like last year and all my mates were stealthing around infront of me down a thin ramp, and a load of little 8 year old girls were behind me, and my mates told me to run because loads were coming but instead I like jumped back and knocked all the girls over then landed on them and squashed them.

When I was at my mums friend house, they had gone out so it was just my sis and me and their kids, and my sister threw a spoon at one of their bums for some strange reason but he turned around and it hit him right in the head and cracked his skull.

In year 2 the school raised a load of money for the school hamster to get a new cage, so they got it and when he was trying it out, he was doing monkey bars but fell off and broke his back and died.

[cocaine]

wow, you're accident prone arent you.

[Stabbed]

wow, you're accident prone arent you.

lol @ that

you've been hurting a lot of people.

[PenguinFluid]

I am in flippin hysterics LMAO

[:Hazel]

I have loaads so I wanted to make a thread on it.

A few weeks back when I went paintballing, the game started and I tested my gun and it shot the guy right infront of me straight in the bum and he turned around and I jumped to the ground and went in stealth mode and pretended to not be there.

Like a few years ago I was playing football with a load of 5 year olds and I kicked it really hard and it smacked one right in the face and he ran in crying.

Quite a while back a kid who lived in my street brought his micro scooter out, and I asked for a go and he said ye and ran off to play football up the street, so I stood on it and it snapped straight in half, so in a panic I ran behind my house which is infront of his house and threw it in a bush, and when I looked out my bedroom window and saw him and his dad walkign inside, he was crying and his dad was holding a broken scooter.

A few years ago someone had one of those scooters with the fat wheels so I thought I'd try to jump over the river near my house on it and just fell straight in.

Like aages ago when my street thought roller blades were cool, we were all out roller blading and my friend made a ramp, I told him to try and do a backflip so he like half a back flip and landed and broke his hip.

Like 2 years ago I was trying to climb over a fence near my house but my foot slipped and I fell off and I landed on what was to be the next door house's new window.

Like last year at school my mate was in the toilet room and I was waiting outside, and I thought I'd kick the door open slightly to open the door for him when he came near (I could see him through the stained glass when he was washing his hands) so as he approached I kicked the door but way too hard and it smacked him right in the nose and broke his nose and I ran off so he wouldn't know it's me.

Like 2 years ago in a spanish lesson someone threw his book at me, so I threw it back but like 10 times harder and it hit him right in the eye, the corner of the book and all, and he had to go out of the class.

Me and my friend were sort of play fighting on a hill and I swung him round and he fell down a massive hill and landed on the concrete path below.

When I was 4 we all head mini tractor things, but I wasn't on mine. I was trying to draw chalk lines on the pavement for some reason, and one of my friends kept running them over and rubbing them out on his tractor, so I picked up a fat rock and threw it at him but it missed him and hit my other friend and he had to go to hospital.

I was at lazer tag like last year and all my mates were stealthing around infront of me down a thin ramp, and a load of little 8 year old girls were behind me, and my mates told me to run because loads were coming but instead I like jumped back and knocked all the girls over then landed on them and squashed them.

When I was at my mums friend house, they had gone out so it was just my sis and me and their kids, and my sister threw a spoon at one of their bums for some strange reason but he turned around and it hit him right in the head and cracked his skull.

In year 2 the school raised a load of money for the school hamster to get a new cage, so they got it and when he was trying it out, he was doing monkey bars but fell off and broke his back and died.

you should audition for jackass

[DiscoPat]

lol at them,

[Antallica]

i woke up and my lamp fell off ceiling, and hit me on tha head.

[Ekalb]

i woke up and my lamp fell off ceiling, and hit me on tha head.

you have a lamp on your ceiling?

[Aces]

wow, i laughed whole way trough.

[womanizer]

i once swallowed a pound...

lol?