Reluctancy

[Pyroka]

Reluctancy sums up this thread really, but there's so much more to it... I could say the same about this girl I like.

She's younger than me which is alright I guess, age doesn't bother me that much. Basically, I think she's really nice and I would love to be with her, however the only problem is she has a boyfriend and I really don't know what to do. Sounds stupid, but let me explain more.

Today, on my Duke of Edinburgh practice walk we were practically inseperable and constantly around eachother for the whole walk. It was only a 1-dayer, but nevertheless, where all the group were together, it was just us together & it's got me really wound up. I like her, and I'm sure as hell she likes me, and we've got tons in common since we were talking for like 3-4 hours non-stop? There's only a few people who come up to me to see what is wrong with me too, and they're my close mates but I've only known her since like December/January. Either way, we get along and I'm sure she likes me but whenever I come up with something really flirty, she just ignores me and starts talking about her boyfriend. >_< Real torture...

She doesn't even seem that serious about her boyfriend sometimes, because she only mentions him when I say stuff like that, or when others suggest we're 'lovebirds' (in the words of the walk supervisors)... I just don't know what to do though, because she's got a boyfriend and I don't really know the situation on that and it's like GAHHH.

I know people are going to say "JUST ASK HER OUT" but it's really not as simple as that... I value our friendship and thats the biggest problem, because if I ask her out and she says no because she's got a boyfriend, that puts me on thin ice with her... Please help. >_<

[benjamin]

in all honesty i wouldn't ask her out, because as you said you don't know the background between her and the dreaded boyfriend; for all you know she could be blindly in love with him - and you'd feel a fool afterwards. she might just like you as a friend, because a lot of guys get mixed signs from girls when they're trying to be friendly buy guys see it as a bit more.

all i can say really is stay close to her, and see what the deal is with her and the boyfriend and if you ever have a chance.

good luck ryan

[xander]

well judging by the fact she changes the subject when you make flirty remarks i reckon either:
she wants just friendship
or
is just teasing you.

to be honest it sounds as if she just wants friendship!

[Hecktix1]

If you get a new dress it might help?

Lol, last night was jokes.

Anyway;
I think the fact she talks about her boyfriend when you start flirting is guilt.
She wants to reply with flirty comments, however the guilt overcomes her.
I think this, because I know the situation very well.

You can't really do anything but wait.
However listen to this very carefully:

Only wait if you really, really like her, and think she is worth the wait.

Stay close to her, try to get closer.

Step on the boyfriends toes a bit, but not so much that he notices and complains to her so she doesn't want to see you anymore.

Just keep waiting

Good luck Ryan, let us know what happens!

[Pyroka]

thanks for the replies guys im not sure on the situation yet tbh... Ill find out tommorow night when i next see her. should be interesting somewhat.

[Ashley 12344]

Just ask her, hyperthetically or something.

[The Professor]

I've been there, its not nice. But the chances are that if she's being flirty with you while shes got a boyfriend, she can't be trusted. I can only speak from personal experience (which was a bad one), so maybe I just have warped tunnel vision.

I always say just go for it and make your own mistakes and learn from them, but in this situation I'd be extremely careful.