I have a real problem with school.

[NIKKEE]

I don't know what it is that's wrong with me, but I just hate it. It's not learning, it's not that I don't get on with people. But I don't like the people that I'm around there. They're probably fine, normal people, and I act fine around them but I just hate them and I've no idea why. I mean this has really become a real problem for me, I am sitting here in tears it really makes me fee depressed, it's a real confidence issue and although I'm on the waiting list to see a therapist, I ALREADY talk about it to my mum. I feel so too faced and I don't want to dislike people, but every little thing annoys me about them. I hate being at school, and I hate the idea that I will have to eventually go to Uni. I don't want to live a stupid student lifestyle, and I don't want to do the things people my own age do. Sometimes I don't even want to grow up, I just feel constantly truly uncomfortable wherever I am, it's gotten so bad that sometimes I even stutter, not very noticably, but I used to be fine around people.
I don't really know what I want to gain from writing this, maybe people who also feel the same way. Sometimes I feel I'm made to feel that Uni is my only option in the future, but I hate the idea of it, I really do, but I know I'm smart and I can't let myself down. Does anyone else just like staying in and doing things with their family, like ALL the time? Or feel they still want to be a child - I don't just mean act immature. I feel I've not really explained this well, but this has developed over the past few years ever since I started High School, I just don't bloody know what to do.

[Soy]

I found school was just boring so I missed like 30% of it.

I never really had the problem with other people cause' I had a good rep. There were a few people who would sometimes annoy me by thinking that I liked them etc, the people who I didn't like I just gave them dirty looks and constantly punked them out

As soon as I got to sixth form things were a lot better, you probably only have one or two years left anyway I suggest you make the most of it

[NIKKEE]

I found school was just boring so I missed like 30% of it.

I never really had the problem with other people cause' I had a good rep. There were a few people who would sometimes annoy me by thinking that I liked them etc, the people who I didn't like I just gave them dirty looks and constantly punked them out

As soon as I got to sixth form things were a lot better, you probably only have one or two years left anyway I suggest you make the most of it

This is my final year, I can't go from being constantly shy to really out there like that, it's not what I'm comfortable with.

[Inspiration]

It seems that you don't want to grow up and maybe your afraid of doing so?
Also staying in with your family means that you have a strong bond with them which is very important in life.
But it's all part of the cycle of life and although you may not want to grow up you have no choice.
As for the problem with not liking people i can't comment on it as i don't know you but maybe see a school councilor as they can often help. Hope you can sort this out also even though you may not think it there is help out there, maybe discuss with childline or something as it releases that pressure.

[buttons]

mhm..i felt like this the past year and i missed school a lot coz of it. i would much rather just do things on my own and no-one really understood that and tried to talk to me, constantly asking if i was ok when i really was. the main reason i started to hate everyone was because a) i thought they'd be disappointed if they were friends with me and b) i didn't want to give people the chance to hurt me again. i used to be loud but after drifting apart from people because of one silly little thing i just kept myself mostly to myself but ye after a lot of people fell out with me i just felt like "i don't need friends, they're just there for when i want something new" which i felt bad about thinking so didn't want people to get too close. there must've been something that triggered it off? maybe a bad experience with people like i did and i don't mean to sound rude but maybe because people never really give YOU the chance neither you feel they're not worth it...

i didn't know what i wanted to do after school all i knew was i wanted to leave asap and after talkin to a careers woman i felt a load better knowing where to go and just got on with my studies, going to college/uni could help you get over hating people, it'll be new people and new way of life so you could change. i used to want to stay in my room just doing what i enjoyed cause i knew after education i wouldn't have all this free time to do what i wanted but i still got dragged out at the weekends and i'm glad i did cause then i would've lost everyone

i don't really know, maybe the therapist will help but i know for me it was coz of bad experiences that made me just think everything wasn't worth it, figuring out what i wanted to do and talking to various people helped me anyway

[Lost]

Are you worrying that when you get to UNI you'll like have no friends because you're not used to going out? Why don't you go out? Maybe it's just because it's the last year of school and you're worried about what's going to happen next, maybe to you everything is going a bit too fast and you don't really want it to therefore not wanting to grow up in a way? Imo, seeing a therapist would only lower my confidence more, because I'd feel weird seeing a therapist, like there is something wrong with me, I mean you sound perfectly normal. Maybe it's just something that happens to some people when their life is changing at such a big speed (i.e you leaving school this year and going to uni) When did you start not going out with friends? Did you lose your friends?

[ifuseekamy]

It just sounds like you have a personality disorder, like social anxiety or an avoidant personality. They're pretty common to some degree.

[NIKKEE]

mhm..i felt like this the past year and i missed school a lot coz of it. i would much rather just do things on my own and no-one really understood that and tried to talk to me, constantly asking if i was ok when i really was. the main reason i started to hate everyone was because a) i thought they'd be disappointed if they were friends with me and b) i didn't want to give people the chance to hurt me again. i used to be loud but after drifting apart from people because of one silly little thing i just kept myself mostly to myself but ye after a lot of people fell out with me i just felt like "i don't need friends, they're just there for when i want something new" which i felt bad about thinking so didn't want people to get too close. there must've been something that triggered it off? maybe a bad experience with people like i did and i don't mean to sound rude but maybe because people never really give YOU the chance neither you feel they're not worth it...

i didn't know what i wanted to do after school all i knew was i wanted to leave asap and after talkin to a careers woman i felt a load better knowing where to go and just got on with my studies, going to college/uni could help you get over hating people, it'll be new people and new way of life so you could change. i used to want to stay in my room just doing what i enjoyed cause i knew after education i wouldn't have all this free time to do what i wanted but i still got dragged out at the weekends and i'm glad i did cause then i would've lost everyone

i don't really know, maybe the therapist will help but i know for me it was coz of bad experiences that made me just think everything wasn't worth it, figuring out what i wanted to do and talking to various people helped me anyway

Well I'm pretty sure it's bad experiences, it's exactly that. When I was in primary 6, I was badly bullied by the people who had been my best friends, and it went on for a year, and then I finally broke free, then I had new friends, and things were gerat. But that group drifted apart and then I went back to my old friends and they were much more welcoming, and we had a great time, then me and 2 girls sort of went off on our own group, and we always did things together. Then they really changed and wanted to go out partying and what not, this was maybe 2 years ago, so then I was sort of left, and I just found people to be around, you know? And recently I had made friends with a really nice girl, we say we're best friends, and we also hung around another girl, but she has once again sort of left me, and I always feel I'm being abandoned.
I feel I just go from one group to the next, like I have no staying power, and I really do think it's because I don't want to be hurt by people, so I rarely get close. I do think you're right, people never seem to give me the time of day, and always go for someone louder or whatever, and I feel they're not bothering with me so it really makes me resent them and I feel that most people are like that.

The thing is I love going out with the friends I've got, it's basically me, the girl I mentioned and like 4 other guys, and we usually just hang out at each others houses, I mean we are 17. And some people seem to think I don't want to drink, but actually whenever I'm out I always drink because I'm so uncomfortable without drinking. I think I am sooo uninteresting, and even round friends I feel so anxious that I might not say anything interesting. Sometimes I even worry if we're not going to be drinking, I worry that I won't have anything to say!
I was supposed to see a careers woman, and she actually phoned to say sorry she hasn't gotten to me yet, but it's almost too late, cause I've chosen this years subjects, but maybe she'll give me more options. Did you go to Uni? and if so, did you live away from home?

[NIKKEE]

Are you worrying that when you get to UNI you'll like have no friends because you're not used to going out? Why don't you go out? Maybe it's just because it's the last year of school and you're worried about what's going to happen next, maybe to you everything is going a bit too fast and you don't really want it to therefore not wanting to grow up in a way? Imo, seeing a therapist would only lower my confidence more, because I'd feel weird seeing a therapist, like there is something wrong with me, I mean you sound perfectly normal. Maybe it's just something that happens to some people when their life is changing at such a big speed (i.e you leaving school this year and going to uni) When did you start not going out with friends? Did you lose your friends?

Probably right, I AM worried I won't make friends and end up having no-one. But I plan on travelling there and staying at home. I don't want to be put in rubbish halls with people I might not like!
I definitely don't want to grow up, but the issue isn't really with going out. I can go out with friends I already have, but I wouldn't be able to with other people. Sometimes I'm OK at first putting on an air of confidence if someone talks to me first, but what if I don't look worth talking to? Or everyone knows each other? Then I'm stuck.
I used to think seeing a therapist would do that, but it's not just for these reasons, my mum really really wants me to due to my dad, he's pathetic (he recently asked to borrow money from me and it upset me so much I can't even think about the way he asked it's horrible). Just all these problems have built up over the years and right now I can only see it as being a plus. It would almost feel like a safety blanket having someone there behind me, even if it is a councillor.

I know I'm not psychotic or anything, I'm just a person who has been really hurt and I just don't know how to deal with it anymore, so I asked my GP if I could see a councillor and she said fine.

I've lost many friends over the years, I sort of push people away, and then it upsets me that they don't bother to hold on, as if I wasn't worth the trouble.

[Lost]

Probably right, I AM worried I won't make friends and end up having no-one. But I plan on travelling there and staying at home. I don't want to be put in rubbish halls with people I might not like!
I definitely don't want to grow up, but the issue isn't really with going out. I can go out with friends I already have, but I wouldn't be able to with other people. Sometimes I'm OK at first putting on an air of confidence if someone talks to me first, but what if I don't look worth talking to? Or everyone knows each other? Then I'm stuck.
I used to think seeing a therapist would do that, but it's not just for these reasons, my mum really really wants me to due to my dad, he's pathetic (he recently asked to borrow money from me and it upset me so much I can't even think about the way he asked it's horrible). Just all these problems have built up over the years and right now I can only see it as being a plus. It would almost feel like a safety blanket having someone there behind me, even if it is a councillor.

I know I'm not psychotic or anything, I'm just a person who has been really hurt and I just don't know how to deal with it anymore, so I asked my GP if I could see a councillor and she said fine.

I've lost many friends over the years, I sort of push people away, and then it upsets me that they don't bother to hold on, as if I wasn't worth the trouble.

If I were you I would definitely go with Halls, you'll get to meet knew people and trust me you'll feel a lot more confident, I think if you stayed at home you'd just remain feeling like this for a long time. Like buttons said she got dragged out at the weekends and she's thankful that she did, so I think you should move into the Halls and I think you should put that confidence barrier up and who knows? It could work out for the best! You seem like a really nice person and I'm sure that this is just a stage you're going through because you've been hurt in the past. My brother moved house into like a really far away place where he had to get the bus into town if he wanted to meet his friends and he could never be bothered doing that so he stopped going out, later he started to think that he was turning into a weird loner and driving himself away from all of his friends. He began to lose confidence talking to people at school and felt really awkward with people when they tried to approach him. He also started to think that he was losing his friends because they were all going out with all these "new people" and never invited him because he isolated hismelf in the house that was far away so they must of just not bothered inviting him. He got really upset over this and stuff, but then he just one day got him and said ok i'm going to eb really confident with everyone and just try and get back to the way I was, and now all of that has just went away and he's back to the way he was before, I personally think it was because he was trying to get used to moving house so far away from town and to do that he isolated himself without even knowing it, but when he did realise he was isolating himself he started to do something about it. Which is what I think you should do, I think you should try and move into the Halls and talk to your room-mates, it could really help you, after reading this and buttons' post about how basically we have to make an effort to get out of this stage that you're in.

I hope this has helped you and good luck! I hope everything works out for the best.