[T] Slice Of Life Advert

[thorn]

Competition on Habbo UK. Here



I think i've followed my own ideas now, and not just Put my head on an alt.. like i used to. Coz nearl 80% of this is from scratch. Only things copied:
Habbos, Speech, Text, Pizza Thing at top.

Everything else i made

Comments?

ALSO,

This image has already been sent into Habbo UK, so don't steal

[Accipiter]

scratches on the pizza machine ain't doing much for you, basically because they're just a different colour of pencil flowed through.

i think some parts don't match others, aka sticky, writing, and it needs a border, red can looks 2d.

from above text to writing and around where the pizza machine is bores me, you could have put pizzas around theres only basically one. Some menus to etc.

[thorn]

scratches on the pizza machine ain't doing much for you, basically because they're just a different colour of pencil flowed through.

i think some parts don't match others, aka sticky, writing, and it needs a border, red can looks 2d.

from above text to writing and around where the pizza machine is bores me, you could have put pizzas around theres only basically one. Some menus to etc.

Ok, Thanks for your comments.

Erm, the scratches were meant to be like a name scratched into it, but i couldnt get the hang of it, and it kept looking messy so i just scratched it all .

But all in all.. Do you think I have improved?

[Accipiter]

i can't really tell, most of your work isn't similar to this type, but for trying something new you definately improved. I think you lack.. jeez this is hard to describe, like, over doing a fact, if you know what mise en scene does in some movies to empathise a point, its like, were a mouse? chewed the corner, you could have done some more rips and little shreds, make the chew bigger. And like i said before the pizza over could do with some pizzas

c+c on the oven is it needs some light reflecting could do with some darker metal round the mouth of the oven to, to show its been used good and proper
All i can say is, what you imagine in your head, try. Like straight away looking at the bottom i thought "that could have done with the waiter tripping and the pizza flying"

So yeah you've improved a little bit but you should start thinking big! Learn from your mistakes the bigger your mistakes the more you learn ^^

[thorn]

All i can say is, what you imagine in your head, try. Like straight away looking at the bottom i thought "that could have done with the waiter tripping and the pizza flying"

Lol.

But I think its menna be proper, and tbh i don't think Number One Service is tripping over lol

[Accipiter]

be funny, which is creative and ironic