My short story

[The Don]

The worst day of my life
Buzzz!
The alarm clock sounded. “Shut up!” I yelled at the persistent pest. Swinging my arms around; trying to silence the unbearable sound only to knock it out of arms reach and scuff my hand on the bed side cabinet “Ouch” I yelped. I gradually arouse from my pit and put an end to the alarm clocks whining with a fatal stamp to the clocks face. Silence! At last, I smiled contently at the now smashed up piece of junk. It didn’t even bother me that there were jagged pieces of glass now lodge deeply into my heel, well, if I’m honest I hadn’t even noticed until I saw the crimson glow of blood slowly form a puddle under my foot.
I limped slowly and steadily downstairs and into my kitchen where I knew the first aid box would be. It wasn’t really a professional first aid box, it was just an old and used shoe box my mum had fashioned into a storage facility full of bandages, plasters and any variety of antiseptic. My mum is a pack rat she refuses to throw anything away from yoghurt pots to ice cream boxes, grabbing them out of my hand the second she sees me edge forward towards the bin with them “That could be used as a pencil container” she’d whine one moment “That’s a perfectly good Pringles box” the next. My dad on the other hand is completely different. He’d throw away cutlery after every use if he could afford to. This wasn’t because he wanted a luxurious life, or because he wanted to be like P Diddy. He did it just to annoy my mum. He’d do anything just to get the slightest rise from her. Maybe one day stand on her foot and pretend it was an accident, or maybe the next day throw away a perfectly good plastic box in front of her. He is, what I like to call, a wind up merchant.
While shuffling through the crammed up box I managed to find an appealing plaster and a perfect bottle of anti-septic spray to match. I hopped other towards the kitchen sink, holding tightly onto the kitchen surfaces to keep balance, flicking blood everywhere in the process. Quickly placing my foot over the dirty dishes below, I could see blood trickle down and into the washing up bowl but i was in too much pain to care. I painfully attempted at removing the few remaining shards, “Ouch” I moved too hastily. With another attempt I managed to remove all of the shards from my heel and quickly covered the gash with anti-septic to stop any infection from occuring. A painful sensation tingled from my heel and all the way up my leg as the anti-septic did it’s job. I carefully and gently placed the plaster of the top of my wound making sure to roll a bandage across the top of it so the plaster stayed perfectly in place. I sighed, now to get ready for school.
I waddled up stairs and into the bathroom. Carefully placing my leg over the bath and turning the show on.
Swoosh!
Steaming hot water scolded my leg instantly, releasing steam as it came into contact with the nerve cells in my leg. I cried in pain, chucking the shower head to the opposite corner of the bath and quickly lunging over to switch the water off. “MUM!” I yelled, “What’s wrong with the shower”. Instantly as I spoke I noticed the painstakingly obvious letter written in lipstick on the bathroom mirror. It read “Showers broken love, man coming to fix it at 5 – Mum.” What a consolation I thought, I stupidly missed the usual night time shower, optimistically planning on taking it this morning. I guess I would have to go to school dirty.
I crept to my room, carefully avoiding anymore mishaps on the way. I went to the already open doorway and found my dog tightly curled up in my school uniform, covered in hairs and muddy paw prints. “OUT!” I yelled at my dog who ran off immediately. I picked up the school trousers and shirt and began whacking them against the floor in an attempt at removing the matted dog hairs which were still lodged into the fabric. It was no use. The ticking of the clock made me realise that it was 8:15 and my school bus would be arriving any moment now. I quickly put on the dirt stained school uniform and made a dash towards the bus stop.
On the way out, the smell of warm jam hit me in the face and lured me to the table where it laid. I quickly picked up the two symmetrical cut pieces and wolfed it down immediately, wiping the crumbs of my lips and onto the floor, I quickly made a run towards the bus stop.
I quickly grabbed my school bag and ran out the door. Every step more painful than the last due to my probably lacerated heel, I arrived in sight of the bus stop and there it was, the coach, right in sight. I made it!
Swoosh! The sound of the coach doors sliding shut, it began to move. I ran desperately beside it, tapping and banging on the glass for it to stop. The brakes clunched. I sighed with relieve. I immedietly got on to the coach and paid the driver, the doors slammed shut behind me and the wheels began rolling again. I had made it! I got on the coach and wandered towards the back seats where I and my friends usually sat. Something was wrong. I glimpsed around looking at everyone. I couldn’t recognise a single person nor the horrible burgundy blazers the students were wearing and then I quickly realised, I had gotten on the wrong coach.
The End
What do you all think? my teacher gave me an A* for it

[Gibs960]

It might be cos you've like copied it onto the forum from a document, but aren't you meant to start a new line for speech?

But otherwise really good, I love the way you describe the alarm noise

[MattFr]

tldr, I suggest checking out some pages on the correct use of a semi-colon. Grammar variation is good, but not if you can't use grammar well.

[kuzkasate]

Yeah, pretty good. A few little mistakes like "turning the show on" which im sure is supposed to say shower