Scene Stealers - Ends 10th July

[Inseriousity.]

I'm not sure if you've ever watched Mock the Week before but if you haven't, there's a round at the end called 'Scenes we'd like to see'. The comedians are given a scenario and the comedians give suggestions as to what might be said. An example that I can remember off the top of my head:

"Something unlikely to be heard by a weather presenter"
"Look out the window"

That was the clean version but hopefully, you get what you have to do now! For this competition, complete the following scenarios below with what might be said! The funniest entry will win! Good luck.

Prize: 5 credits + 10 rep

a) Something unlikely to be said by a teacher
b) Bad things to say at an airport
c) Lines you wouldn't hear in an action movie

[Pigperson]

a) Something unlikely to be said by a teacher
- Anyone seen bad teacher in the cinema yet? Live it.

b) Bad things to say at an airport
- Mr BOMB-bastic, telephontastic

c) Lines you wouldn't hear in an action movie
- -Holds up middle finger-, look at my chipped nail.

Will

[David]

Something unlikely to be said by a teacher
Just finished reading the fifth book in the "learning to count" trilogy.

Bad things to say at an airport
These tickets cost a bomb, lucky I had one on me.

Lines you wouldn't hear in an action movie
No, no, no, no. You gotta listen to the way people talk. You don't say "affirmative," or some **** like that. You say "nae bor bud" And if someone comes on to you with an attitude you say "square go." And if you want to shine them on it's "wante nip us?" [Terminator 2] - Have to be Scottish to understand :(

[Zeptis]

A) If you get bad grades on the spelling test, I promise i will scream out loud to all of you, Go **** yourselves.
B) I have a bomb, and its gonna go off in 1 minute.
C) I forgot to put on a condom last night, you might wanna get yourself looked at.

[Casanova]

a) Something unlikely to be said by a teacher
b) Bad things to say at an airport
c) Lines you wouldn't hear in an action movie

A) Now you've finished mein kamfe. isn't hilter just a great asset?
B) No I didn't pack my bags, I've already explained. my assistant Obama packed 'em
C) BE THERE ASAP, just finishing my pedicure... NO FRANCOIS. THE PINK NAIL VARNISH.

[Kaytti]

a) Something unlikely to be said by a teacher

Sorry I'm late, you wouldn't BELIEVE the size of the dump I just did. I swear it had teeth.

b) Bad things to say at an airport

Wayne Rooney has just arrived at Terminal 3. But don't bother looking for an autograph - He can't even read the name on his suitcase.

c) Lines you wouldn't hear in an action movie

I'll be back... with your toaster tomorrow- my ex-wife has taken EVERYTHING.

[Michael]

a) Something unlikely to be said by a teacher
I hate school, leave me alone I want to go home.

b) Bad things to say at an airport
TOUCH ME AND THE BOMB EXPLODES!

c) Lines you wouldn't hear in an action movie
This is the end, goodbye. I love you.

[Jazz]

a) Something unlikely to be said by a teacher
Yes Steven, we know that you know how to make children.. you certainly didnt need to prove it either.

b) Bad things to say at an airport
Oh.. that? Its only semtex..

c) Lines you wouldn't hear in an action movie
I am an actionman, I have as much action as Ryan Giggs..

[ChloeeBALDWIN]

a) Something unlikely to be said by a teacher - "You make babys by praying to god"
b) Bad things to say at an airport - "Points at stranger, OMG You are the person ive been stalking on facebook"
c) Lines you wouldn't hear in an action movie - "Give it to me , harder , stronger , faster"

[j0rd]

a) Something unlikely to be said by a teacher
1 + 2 = 9

b) Bad things to say at an airport
Does anyone smell... BOMB?!

c) Lines you wouldn't hear in an action movie
Cant be bothered, call me tomorrow...