YAY ive been waiting since last series (obviously) for the new series. heres a lil preview:
Citroen Gee Gee 6
Big Citroens shouldn't just be as weird as one of those French art house films where a girl spends three hours discussing the meaning of a cheese; they have to be super comfy too. That's why for years the BBC used an old CX to film all its horse racing coverage.
To find out if the new C6 is as soft riding, Jeremy took it down to the 2.30 at Towcester and strapped a camera to the roof.
Kit car challenge
Kit cars have been conspicuous by their absence on Top Gear. Well, rejoice stout fingernail breakers, because the Top Gear team is about to join your ranks, as we tasked Jeremy, Richard and James with building a whole Caterham, from scratch, against the clock.
And, to make things more interesting, our boys would be competing against another car-building team comprising Jeremy's wife, Richard's wife and James's girlfriend. Warning: This item may contain strong language, fist fights and scenes of a divorce-related nature.
It's not rocket science. Oh wait, it is
The climax of this year's Top Gear Winter Olympics special was the spectacular launch of a Mini off a ski-jump. And credit for the car's graceful flight goes to our friends at the British Rocketry Association.
Buoyed by that unlikely success, we asked them what else they could do, and naturally they suggested turning a Reliant Robin into the Space Shuttle.
So, with some light modifications, an unloved three-wheeler was transformed into an accurate replica of a NASA orbiter. Then we bolted rocket motors to the Reliant's belly, winched it onto a launch pad in the middle of an East Anglian airfield and retreated to a safe place. Which ideally would have been New Zealand.
Dads don't despair
Fatherhood may bring great pride and reward, but with it comes the risk of losing your dignity by driving an MPV. Of course it doesn't have to be this way, as Hammond demonstrates when he assembles three practical family cars that don't make you lose the will to live.
The Focus ST-engined Ford S-Max, AMG-wheeled Mercedes B200T, and the 237bhp Vauxhall Zafira VXR face up to the funky family car challenge. And from the off you'd have to say their designers knew the target market because each comes with a turbo - one small word that is guaranteed to make a dad feel he's getting his mojo back.
White van man challenge
No series of Top Gear can go by without some kind of foolish car-buying challenge for the presenters. So far they've bought sub-£100 cars, crusty 1980s coupes, inadvisably cheap Porsches and disastrously low-priced supercars. Now they face a more practical task.
Each of them must buy a van, one that works on at least some cylinders and has at least several parts that aren't rusted through, and use it to perform a series of vanly duties. We've got them shifting a variety of heavy loads and roadie-ing for a well-known beat combo. All of which could be a problem for Richard Hammond whose van seems to be a little, erm, small.
How hard can it be? No.1
How hard can it be to make an amphibious car? We decided to find out. Each presenter had to buy the kind of car they considered most suited to aquatic ****ing about and then make it at least moderately ship-shape. After that they'd meet up to reveal the vessels and complete a cold and watery challenge.
Jeremy immediately chose an indestructable Toyota pick-up and slapped a massive outboard motor on the back. Richard went for a VW camper van and set about turning it into a narrowboat. Finally, James May's car-boat of choice was a Triumph Herald and his favoured propulsion system of choice was, of course, the sail. Then we made them cross a lake. How hard can it be? A bit harder than they thought.
How hard can it be? No.2
When Nissan announced a version of its Micra that was both convertible and pink, it gave the TG team an idea. Convertibles have been made from almost every type of car, right down to hatches like the Micra, but no one has ever tried a convertible people carrier. Until now, because Jeremy, James and Richard decided to give it a go. After all, how hard can it be?
The starting point was an old Renault Espace, which the boys swiftly introduced to a circular saw. Then they set about fitting a hood. James did the design work and Jeremy took care of stitching, claiming to be good at this. He wasn't. With shoddy hood paired to roofless Espace, the presenters then embarked on a rigorous test programme, including a trip to the safari park to check monkey resistance and, of course, bear-proofing.
We're all going on a miserable holiday
TG is not famed for its love of caravans. All that holding up traffic and spoiling other people's views and then spending the weekend trudging to the shower block with a loo roll under your arm. But if you can't beat them, maybe it's time to join them, at least for one Bank Holiday.
So it was that the three presenters ended up on their own miserable odyssey. What's it like being the one at the front of a 15-mile tailback? What's it like having your home strapped behind you like a massive fiberglass snail? And what's it like being stuck in a confined space with James May, winner of the 2005 BAFTA for most flatulent man on television?
Here are some preview pics:
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BRING BACK HIS 5PM SHOW!
