Arguing parents - causing problems later in life for children/teens.

[kreechin]

Recently, I've been getting myself into a lot of trouble, and more often that not the police are getting involved.
The trouble I'm getting myself into is always when I've had a little to drink, it's not that I can't handle my drink cause I can.
The most recent was on Saturday night, I got home after a night out with the mates, ended up getting a little rowdy and the police had to be called out.
14 police officers, a riot van and a night in a cell later, I had a phone call of my father, ringing on me to check up everything was okay and such, cause he lives in Blackpool, and me in South Wales, so he likes to check up now and again.
During the conversation my dad was saying how my mother and him could've caused these problems for me, as they always used to argue and violently fight when i was a younger.
One of the most prominent memories I have was when I was 3 and i saw my father beating my mother up in the living room, if it wasn't for my brother (age 5 at the time) jumping on my fathers back my mother wouldn't have been alive today.
My brother is also in the same situation as me, recently he's calmed down a lot, as he moved up to Blackpool to live with my father, he moved up when he was 16 and is 21 this year.
Ever since he moved to Blackpool he's been in very little trouble.
All this made me think that somehow violence in a child's up bringing can later in life cause the child to have some anger/violence issues.
I myself kind of agree that violence being present in a child's up bringing can cause them to have anger/violence issues when they grow up.
I'm not normally violent in any way at all, I'm actually quite placid but when I've had a little to drink all this anger and rage seems to flood out of me for no apparent reason.
Do any of you also believe that violence in a child's up bringing can cause issues later on?

[Monopoly]

It could be that.
Or it could be that you're looking for an excuse to justify your actions.

[Wayne]

Thanks for sharing such personal information with us. I think if violence is present in a child's upbringing, it will effect them in later life and cause them many problems. It could also be present in their child's upbringing which could cause a violent chain of events.

[Bef]

I went through a looong time of lashing out on other people, taking my anger out in silly ways. I blamed it on my bad upbringing but i now realise that despite whats happened to me in the past there is no need to mess up my life even worse.
The only person ul end up hurting is yourself

I do think that if u havnt had much love as a kid or if the people u loved let u down then ur gunna have trust issues when ur older but its something u need to try and get over yourself as its just going to make u miserable.

[Heart Break Kid]

nah i find arguing helps families

[FlyingJesus]

Of course if you're brought up around violence you'll think that's how things are settled, but it's not just that. My parents (although now divorced) brought me up very well and I'm massively grateful for that, but I used to be really violent for a while. I'm now pretty much the most calm person I know so that was something I just grew out of, so obviously it's possible to change.

[Ugawa]

It could be, it affects people differently. My dads been a very bad alcoholic since before i was born and my earliest memories are of my parents violently argueing and watching my dad get violent towards my mum my older sister and me. Since i was about 10 i had to look after my younger brother and sister while my mum had to work more hours. Den it goes on and gets worse but i've never got into trouble with the police, i was more often good at school then not and over all i've always been well behaved so you acting the way you are could just be a teenage phase? Some of my boy mates end up in the police station alot due to drinking.

XX

[iMegz.]

I think it affects everyone differently. I suppose if you grow up around violence it'll become the only way of life you'll know? However, I grew up around that I'd want to make sure I didn't become violent and have a replay of my childhood? But I suppose it could be due to violence that you're the way you are.

[Earthquake]

My mum was beaten up by her bf, so two years ago me and my brother went up to where my mum is, met her and then went out for about 20 minutes, come back and beat the **** out of her boyfriend, btw I was 8 when I left her, and 14 to be reunited with her, My brother was arrested and I was put into a 3 month young offenders insitute. I wouldn't recommend doing that to your father but Im just saying Ive been in the same problems as you, all I would say to you if your over 16 then join the army, it will help you alot.

[N-Dubz]

ya shouldnt blame it on your family now or you'll be doing that all your life.

me and my sister live in a rough area and my family life is rather violent and threatening at times but it dosn't give me a reason to be violent at all, and if i ever did get violent sitting there blaming my parents is pretty lame at the end of the day everyones there own person and you grow up to know right from wrong.

'do as i say not as i do'

my sister is like 21 and she grew up into an adult fine? i suppose it depends for everyone but for me naaaa i ain't bothered what my family do because i know right from wrong myself and them being violent/arguing and gonna make me do it.