My poems, rate/slate

[j4k3]

1.
I am here in the trenches, a long stretch of dirt
Why am I here, what is the point of this hurt
My family sit at home, braving the storm
Probably just getting by, struggling to keep warm
The atmosphere is tense, the battlefield is dead
Left as a big open plain, but a few men’s death bed

We all huddle together, its Christmas time we know
But here in the trenches we don’t get any snow
No presents, no family, this isn’t the Christmas I know
We sit here all quiet, with only dead bodies to show.
----
2. [father on a murdered son]

As they say, life goes on
but you took away my only son,
that is something that can’t be forgiven,
left in a pool of blood with absolutely nothing,
no dignity, respect or love
just a big heap of proof about some of us,
maybe you can’t believe it but this is the truth,
trust means nothing when your son is proof.
----
3.
*She is the early bird I can hear in the morning
She is the ray of sunshine through the curtains that I see
She is the fresh smell of flowers and the new day that I smell
She is the soft touch of flower petals that I feel
She is the beautiful feeling of fresh fruit that I taste
She is the sun and the stars, the dark and the light
She is the beautiful in my beautiful day
She is the piece that completes my soul,
Without her I am incomplete,
But with her I am whole.

[Bun]

haha i enjoyed reading them, specially the first one + rep.





p.s. the third one might come handy for valentines day .

[Throne Sofa]

I thought the second and third weren't very good, it's hard to get the words to mean something emotionally especially if it hasn't happened to you, but you wrote the first one quite well. Not bad for a yido.

[Soy]

Last ones pretty good