New story/novel I want to write

[Gibs960]

Could you give me any thing that would change it from the twilight saga? I know it sounds like it but I don't know what I could change.

[HotelUser]

For a start you could give the main girl a unique physical description, and define her personality in a way that is completely different from Bella. Other than that you could make sure the supporting characters aren't exactly the same as in Twilight; meaning the girl's living conditions could differ from living alone with her father, there could be no natives in your story, the vampire family members could have different amounts of males and females and a less leaderly father than in Twilight.

[Hiro]

I had an idea for a book, and I really want to write it and maybe keep editing it and get it really good, I want to be a writer when I grow up so it could be a big move for me just to get a book finished, and possibly (this would be amazing to happen) be published. So I'll just run you through the basic plot and I'll ask you a couple of questions and ask for feedback :rolleyes:

So it's about a vampire family, haven't decided on a name yet, and they meet up with a human (slayer) one of the vampires falls in love with the human, they don't know he's a slayer, and they accept him in. But when one of the vampires disappears, he is the first person they accuse. The vampire that fell in love with him, doesn't believe it's him, but the rest of the family kill the slayer. The rest of the family flee apart from the vampire who fell in love with the slayer, and 6 months later, she is on a quest. To kill the rest of her family.

OK, my first question, does the whole "human vampire love" thing sound to much like twilight?
Second question, does anyone have any ideas what the family could be called, and where it could be set, in England H)

Thanks all feedback is welcome. I haven't started writing it yet, I want to get some feedback first

Sounds too much like a mashup of Twilight and Blade...

[Sly]

Doesn't sound very good if I'm honest

[Sharon]

Sounds pretty good :} If I were you i'd acutally write some and post on HxF just to prove you people wrong and 11yr olds are A M A Z I N G

Sorry I went a bit off topic there :}

Trembling through the forest with Maria by my side I stood there, which way? I had no clue. Infact my best idea was to scream for help but
who in their right mind would come out here? Why am I even here? Truth was I can't answer any of those questions. All I know is this isn't going to
be a fun experience.

actually this is ******* **** LOL but yeah this took me two minutes im not into the vampire rubbish so sorry but yeah rate slate id give it a 2/10 :S

[HotelUser]

Not to shabby for, as you said, someone who's 11

Sounds pretty good :} If I were you i'd acutally write some and post on HxF just to prove you people wrong and 11yr olds are A M A Z I N G

Sorry I went a bit off topic there :}

Trembling through the forest with Maria by my side I stood there, which way? I had no clue. Infact my best idea was to scream for help but
who in their right mind would come out here? Why am I even here? Truth was I can't answer any of those questions. All I know is this isn't going to
be a fun experience.

actually this is ******* **** LOL but yeah this took me two minutes im not into the vampire rubbish so sorry but yeah rate slate id give it a 2/10 :S

[Sharon]

what happened to the lines dmdm

@HOTELUSER WOO THANK YOU HUNNY +REP XXXXXXX

Trembling through the forest with Maria by my side I stood there, which way? I had no clue. Infact my best idea was to scream for help but who in their right mind would come out here? Why am I even here? Truth was I can't answer any of those questions. All I know is this isn't going to be a fun experience.

reposted

[ItsDave]

It sounds like Blade but in a bizarre reverse. You're just adorable!

[StripedTiger]

Setting: lake district? rural areas seem better than a city?

As for the twilight bit, make the setting of the situation part of the first chapter. Make the book about a vampire out to kill the rest of her family for killing her innocent lover. Maybe a twist at the end where the disappeared family members shows up or something?