Another poem

[The Don]

It's for a contest where the storyline states that it's about a man who kills his wife I know, kind of depressing. I enjoyed writing this one and I think it's my best so far what do you all think?

My dearest girl, how pretty you look.
I loved you so, my heart, you took!
I opened my guard, I lowered my shield.
I loved you so, but hatred can’t be healed.

My dearest bride, how elegant you seemed.
I loved you so, you’re now a fiend.
The fire has spread, all over the rug.
Hell is waiting, your grave, I’ve dug.

My dearest wife, how great we were,
I loved you so, my words now slur.
I’ve drank too much, this is the last,
The last time I reminisce our past.

My dearest wife, or should I say ex?
The curse you laid, your spell, your hex.
You cursed me with love, how bitter, how sweet,
It won’t be long until we meet.
A minute, or two, it can’t be long,
I’m choking on smoke, the pain, be gone!

[kuzkasate]

I actually like this and I am not really the poem type guy, I cannot stand reading them and especially writing them, I cant write a poem to save my life.

so +repp

[lPinoy]

I actually like this and I am not really the poem type guy, I cannot stand reading them and especially writing them, I cant write a poem to save my life.

so +repp

My thoughts exactly.

I normally hate reading poems but yours was enthralling, well done. It sort of reminded me of 'The Laboratory'.
+rep.

[Catzsy]

Very well constructed poem that certainly delivered the message!