Protective or obsessive?

[blackops121]

Basically I've been going out with my girlfriend for 8 months now, I think it is a pretty great relationship with only one flaw, Me.

Ever since we first got together I have been very protective and jealous over her, I disliked it when she was out getting drunk, when she was at parties, generally when she was with boys. I told her my worries and everything and she reassured me everything would be fine. I didn't stop her from doing these things but I was strongly against it and on a few occassions asked her to please not do it.
Recently I feel like my protectiveness has gotten even larger rather than smaller, I find myself annoyed when she even goes out with GIRL friends, nevermind male friends. And when she decides to drink I feel so angry that I begin to almost make her cry.

I know I sound like a really bad person right now, but I honestly can't help it, I don't mean it in a bad way at all, even though it may come across like that

Is this just over-protectiveness, or is this becoming something more, obsession?

I know I need to stop, I need to trust her and let her have her fun, but I just can't help but worry so much.
What should I do?

[Mark]

I think there is a lack of trust in the relationship maybe. You need to trust her that she will be faithful to you, I think everyone goes through it tbh. What I always think is, she picked you, no one else. From previous relationships have you ever been cheated on? Sometimes that is the cause of it.

[Narnat,]

I would agree with Mark it sounds like there is a lack of trust and she will end up leaving you if you smother her. She needs a break away from you and you need a break away from her it's just the way people get a break! Maybe just tell her how you feel but sometimes you just have to let her go and get on with it!

[cocaine]

you're probably just scared of losing her. just back off a bit, show you trust her and it will be reciprocated.

[Shar]

you're probably just scared of losing her. just back off a bit, show you trust her and it will be reciprocated.

This really. Give her a bit more space and show her that you trust her.

[Kaseythegreat]

I agree. Give some space and maybe she will start to see that you trust her a little more.

[blackops121]

I think there is a lack of trust in the relationship maybe. You need to trust her that she will be faithful to you, I think everyone goes through it tbh. What I always think is, she picked you, no one else. From previous relationships have you ever been cheated on? Sometimes that is the cause of it.

No i've not been cheated on as far as I am aware of, But I have admitted to her from the very start that I have major trust issues, most likely originating from my past as a smaller child. I don't trust anyone with anything, even if a friend said to meet them at the cinema, I would think of all these different possibilities such as, Are they even going to show up? Is it cause they are bored and i'm a last resort? I think of the worst of things. She is aware of it so I think she is giving me some leignancy on the matter, But I know its really getting to her, She has told me it makes her so sad that I don't trust her. Even though I probably trust her more than anyone else in my life, It's still a very small amount of trust. And I think this has caused her to even struggle to trust me.

Yeah I am very scared of losing her, I've never really 'properly' liked a girl in the past, When I went out with them it was for the hell of it really, But I think I really do love this girl, and just I get really worried that she will like another guy over me or something.
I've told her I'm going to give her more space to do her own thing, and that I will trust her. I'm trying really hard to follow through on it, I know she's got a day out with her friends to the beach some day this or next week, Drink will be involved to the extent where I don't think they are even going to attempt to come home, they will be finding the nearest B&B. I guess that will be an test of how much I trust her.

I don't want to have a break from the relationship and I really want to stay with her, We have made so many commitments already, We have booked a holiday to spain next year and everything. Is there anything I can do that will strengthen the trust? Perhaps just ask her if she can lay off drinking from boys for a while, and then slowly move onto that or what?
I think she is ignoring my wishes now anyway, Just yesterday she was out drinking, I asked her not to drink too much, not to get too drunk and to try stay inside with girls. She said she promised she would do all of these things, And the whole night she was telling me she was sticking by them, Until her friend told me she was lying and actually she had drank Alot, Was very drunk, and was outside at a park.
I got so angry and confronted her about it, and she just bluntly said she was sick of me telling her what to do or not to do, and if I don't change it'll be the end of us. I really don't want us to end

[kuzkasate]

It happened to me when I had my first couple of relationships, I got so jealous and so angry it's untrue. But you have to learn to trust her. What I did that helped was whenever she went out to parties and stuff, I would go with her to keep an eye on her and stuff and if I couldn't go to the party, I'd make my friends or her friends tell me how she was acting. But you really need to trust her and spend more time with her, thats the best thing to do really. I know it's extremely hard to do that, but you need to do it because if you don't your relationship will fall apart.

[Richie]

Let her go out, if she cheats on you at least then you know she's not right for you. Think of it like this, if anything ever happened between both of you and it was more than just a teenage relationship, you can't keep her locked up forever. Why would you want your relationship to be tested when it's something bigger than it's now, when you can test it now before you get superdooperserious.

I don't trust anyone, it's a dog eat dog world and if there is someone better than you your girlfriend is going to go for them, so how i see it's, you need to be the best.

[Glen Coco]

i'm like this but it's sorta because everytime he went out he'd lie to me about what he'd done so i stopped trusting him. but time's a really good healer. and like Arfar said, try to go with her .